Play Nice Eddie McGuire comments on holding Caro Wilson underwater

Mateyman

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You'd have to wonder what was going through his brain when he said this. Having said that, I don't really buy that it's sexist, just an offensive comment and a bad look if you made it about anyone
 

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Is it a separate issue though?

We talk a lot about education of little boys, but what does that attitude say to little girls?

It's funny to physically assault boys? We should never forget that it's not just men who raise violent kids, it's women too.

To change attitudes everyone needs to be called out on it, otherwise we're just applying a band aid solution to the issue.
The problem I have with your continuing argument here, is that you seem to think that unless we make every specific incident about violence in general, then we shouldn't talk about it.

The fact that other violence occurs does not take anything away from any other specific incident. If people want to talk about one, but not the other, it does not make them hypocritical. It may at worst make them selective.

Because some people laugh at the assault of boys, does not mean that it is right and it does not mean that those who are offended about violence against women think that violence against boys is fair game.

It just feels like you are trying to hijack the narrative or muddy the waters so people stop talking about it in general.
 

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If you'd bothered to read the whole post you'd know I also point out it's a massive factor in DV. I didn't just weigh one issue against another, one leads into the other in a huge way.

Nor did I say it 'gets ignored' I said it doesn't get even close to enough attention for the level of problem it presents.
Fair enough. I did put words in your mouth on that point.

However, you did break out the statistical analysis to show how there are 'a whole 5000% more deaths every year than DV' so I'm pretty happy with calling you on the comparison thing.

And of course the two issues are related. Income disparity and gambling addiction, for example, are related, but that doesn't mean we can only talk about pokies reform if we address wealth distribution at the same time.
 
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My abuse came after the relationship ended. You're not a man blah blah, me ex is a bigger man than you blah blah, you're pathetic, you will never see your daughter again blah blah. Legal aid for her, solicitor and barrister fees for me ... 2 separate occasions over a few years. Police arrived to say that they picked up my exes father on his way up from Sydney to murder me. This was all after she was the one that walked out and left our 15 month old daughter behind. My daughter is now 20 and my ex still talks about wanting me back and has tried to break up my current marriage on one occasion.

My step mother used to single me out for special mental abuse as I was the only child in my Dad's second marriage that wasn't hers. Blamed for things I didn't do, punished accordingly, verbally abused, then on one occasion because I screamed in pain when one of my step siblings bit me hard for no reason and got punished by my Dad before he went out, she threw me to the ground in front of some women friend of hers I had never met and started laying the boot into me. I think I was nearly 10 at the time.

They broke up many times and got back together a week or two later and she would come back and abuse me for eating food that had been left in the cupboard. I was so accustomed to her going back and being abusive to me, it took me until I was 18 to give her a serve back and it stopped right there.

For his part my Dad turned to alcohol in between all this drama, and lashed out at me on occasion. My older step brother stayed with us, bashed his girlfriend on numerous occasions, beat up my Dad and even knocked me on my arse a few time for walking in at the wrong time.

I've been set upon by a couple of grown men in a car park at night time when I was about 15, and I was only saved by a guy walking past with his Mum and hearing it happen.

I firmly believe in horses for courses where violence is concerned. I have seen it from friends, family, mothers, fathers, children, and nobody is exempt. I have so many reasons to take personal circumstances and channel my angst towards women, but I have seen them as victims so many times as well.

Some feminists are shallow, full of hate and not nearly as enlightened as they claim to be. It is not all one way traffic. There are outliers in every group that you have to ignore and not make representative of an issue when it comes up.

So while I completely relate to your story, the frustration, the stuff you had to ignore so your reaction wasn't used against you, a system whereby a father has less rights than the mother, I would just advise you to try not to apply that that to other situations and try to take everything at face value. This is not a gender war, it's an ignorance war and our trials in getting a fair go for ourselves are not the fault of women who find themselves subject to bullying or domestic violence.

I find most women empathise with my own struggles as long as I don't judge them based on those struggles.
I agree mate and I probably do sound bitter. That is horrible though man, I could not even imagine how tough that would have been. I am pleased to say that my ex grew up (I grew up too, I was not the perfect Boyfiend by any means) and apologised for everything and we are now very amicable and have as much access to my son as I like.
 

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So wrong, when you need to redress a heurisim you need to be overt; you need to crush it out of your society. This is not led by some Orwellian thought control process upon high, but rather by the recognition by general society that the values of the past no longer fit the present and future paradigms. Go watch the last samurai.
Preach it Tsar KeSter!
view.jpg
 

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One person's "political correctness" is another's "improvement in society".
It's all a matter of perspective.

Calling out a bully like McGuire for alleged humour fuelled by hatred to me is certainly a step in the right direction.
But, as you suggested, each to his/her own.
It is a matter of perspective and it is a matter of us dealing where we currently are.
It's a difficult time with so much information being bandied about and how do we grasp everything that is right and understanding everything that is wrong?

We're all fudging for position until the real facts come to fruition. It's O.K. for us to admit that we're naive but when we haven't got anything else to hang on to, we have the golden rule to look to. It's not that hard........Why go out of your way to make your life better to make someones else's life worse? Why?
 

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Bostonian

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The problem I have with your continuing argument here, is that you seem to think that unless we make every specific incident about violence in general, then we shouldn't talk about it.

The fact that other violence occurs does not take anything away from any other specific incident. If people want to talk about one, but not the other, it does not make them hypocritical. It may at worst make them selective.

Because some people laugh at the assault of boys, does not mean that it is right and it does not mean that those who are offended about violence against women think that violence against boys is fair game.

It just feels like you are trying to hijack the narrative or muddy the waters so people stop talking about it in general.
I don't think this incident is about violence.

I'm merely replying to those who suggest it is by countering with examples of real violence that go unchecked and the lack of for want of a better word "outrage" over that.
 
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I agree mate and I probably do sound bitter. That is horrible though man, I could not even imagine how tough that would have been. I am pleased to say that my ex grew up (I grew up too, I was not the perfect Boyfiend by any means) and apologised for everything and we are now very amicable and have as much access to my son as I like.
That is great to hear. I was a lucky one though. I ended up with full custody of my daughter and brought her up alone until she was 11 when I got into another relationship. Have a 3 year old now and am determined she will not be exposed to such things.
 

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In all honestly people do have a right to get offended if they so wish at the actual incident then fair enough

Once the apologies are made people then get offended at the apology as well and that is where people are just outraged for outrage sake.
Yep. Some people don't seem to be happy unless they find some reason to be outraged, no matter how insignificant the issue may be.
 

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Yes..very complex problem ...and when you consider that abusers were often abused themselves it gets even messier ..early intervention would seem to be the best way but as you say it is usually behind closed doors
Yeah exactly. It frustrates me that so many in the media write about the issue as if if we simply fix the way we talk about the issue and use language that it will have a massive impact. It is such a simplistic way to look at a complex issue and stems from people who have studied social science and gender studies given too much air time in the media regarding issues like this that have a lot of their basis in mental health.

Having dealt with many abusers I'd like to see the focus put onto the mental health of abusive people. Disorders like Borderline personality disorder for example is a disorder that is so prevalent in many domestic abuse cases (male and female) that I dealt with and has remarkably consistent behavior patterns. But awareness of disorders like this are very low, instead the focus by many in the media is on the language we use as it is seen as a major contributor to violence when the overall impact is questionable at best.

It is frustrating and why these huge circuses whipped up by a journalist/blogger/twitterer such as Erin Riley with expertise in gender issues don't do anything practical at all to help this issue. They just whip up a frenzy of anger from both sides that eventually subsides and then nothing changes. The people being abused continue to be abused, Eddie says sorry, Erin and her Twitter followers think they are having an impact by calling out Eddie and his ilk and we all wait until someone else says something that doesn't fit into the scope of what Erin and her followers see as appropriate. Then it all starts again.
 
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I don't think this incident is about violence.

I'm merely replying to those who suggest it is by countering with examples of real violence that go unchecked and the lack of for want of a better word "outrage" over that.
I'm not seeing you quote too many people who are saying these things directly. You just seem to be dropping these little red herrings into the discussion here and there.
 

Gavin Excell

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My abuse came after the relationship ended. You're not a man blah blah, me ex is a bigger man than you blah blah, you're pathetic, you will never see your daughter again blah blah. Legal aid for her, solicitor and barrister fees for me ... 2 separate occasions over a few years. Police arrived to say that they picked up my exes father on his way up from Sydney to murder me. This was all after she was the one that walked out and left our 15 month old daughter behind. My daughter is now 20 and my ex still talks about wanting me back and has tried to break up my current marriage on one occasion.

My step mother used to single me out for special mental abuse as I was the only child in my Dad's second marriage that wasn't hers. Blamed for things I didn't do, punished accordingly, verbally abused, then on one occasion because I screamed in pain when one of my step siblings bit me hard for no reason and got punished by my Dad before he went out, she threw me to the ground in front of some women friend of hers I had never met and started laying the boot into me. I think I was nearly 10 at the time.

They broke up many times and got back together a week or two later and she would come back and abuse me for eating food that had been left in the cupboard. I was so accustomed to her going back and being abusive to me, it took me until I was 18 to give her a serve back and it stopped right there.

For his part my Dad turned to alcohol in between all this drama, and lashed out at me on occasion. My older step brother stayed with us, bashed his girlfriend on numerous occasions, beat up my Dad and even knocked me on my arse a few time for walking in at the wrong time.

I've been set upon by a couple of grown men in a car park at night time when I was about 15, and I was only saved by a guy walking past with his Mum and hearing it happen.

I firmly believe in horses for courses where violence is concerned. I have seen it from friends, family, mothers, fathers, children, and nobody is exempt. I have so many reasons to take personal circumstances and channel my angst towards women, but I have seen them as victims so many times as well.

Some feminists are shallow, full of hate and not nearly as enlightened as they claim to be. It is not all one way traffic. There are outliers in every group that you have to ignore and not make representative of an issue when it comes up.

So while I completely relate to your story, the frustration, the stuff you had to ignore so your reaction wasn't used against you, a system whereby a father has less rights than the mother, I would just advise you to try not to apply that that to other situations and try to take everything at face value. This is not a gender war, it's an ignorance war and our trials in getting a fair go for ourselves are not the fault of women who find themselves subject to bullying or domestic violence.

I find most women empathise with my own struggles as long as I don't judge them based on those struggles.
Thats really confronting. Kudos for having the fortitude to post that.
 

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I don't actually care about all this at all. Was just posting that there'd be some with faux outrage.
But without considered discussion, what are we left with?

We're all learning as we go along and only 10 years ago, this would have been a non-issue, but is it really just that?

It's a difficult period to be growing up in, but let's get these sorts of issue out of the way sooner than later, so that we live with each other a little easier.
 
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