My abuse came after the relationship ended. You're not a man blah blah, me ex is a bigger man than you blah blah, you're pathetic, you will never see your daughter again blah blah. Legal aid for her, solicitor and barrister fees for me ... 2 separate occasions over a few years. Police arrived to say that they picked up my exes father on his way up from Sydney to murder me. This was all after she was the one that walked out and left our 15 month old daughter behind. My daughter is now 20 and my ex still talks about wanting me back and has tried to break up my current marriage on one occasion.
My step mother used to single me out for special mental abuse as I was the only child in my Dad's second marriage that wasn't hers. Blamed for things I didn't do, punished accordingly, verbally abused, then on one occasion because I screamed in pain when one of my step siblings bit me hard for no reason and got punished by my Dad before he went out, she threw me to the ground in front of some women friend of hers I had never met and started laying the boot into me. I think I was nearly 10 at the time.
They broke up many times and got back together a week or two later and she would come back and abuse me for eating food that had been left in the cupboard. I was so accustomed to her going back and being abusive to me, it took me until I was 18 to give her a serve back and it stopped right there.
For his part my Dad turned to alcohol in between all this drama, and lashed out at me on occasion. My older step brother stayed with us, bashed his girlfriend on numerous occasions, beat up my Dad and even knocked me on my arse a few time for walking in at the wrong time.
I've been set upon by a couple of grown men in a car park at night time when I was about 15, and I was only saved by a guy walking past with his Mum and hearing it happen.
I firmly believe in horses for courses where violence is concerned. I have seen it from friends, family, mothers, fathers, children, and nobody is exempt. I have so many reasons to take personal circumstances and channel my angst towards women, but I have seen them as victims so many times as well.
Some feminists are shallow, full of hate and not nearly as enlightened as they claim to be. It is not all one way traffic. There are outliers in every group that you have to ignore and not make representative of an issue when it comes up.
So while I completely relate to your story, the frustration, the stuff you had to ignore so your reaction wasn't used against you, a system whereby a father has less rights than the mother, I would just advise you to try not to apply that that to other situations and try to take everything at face value. This is not a gender war, it's an ignorance war and our trials in getting a fair go for ourselves are not the fault of women who find themselves subject to bullying or domestic violence.
I find most women empathise with my own struggles as long as I don't judge them based on those struggles.
My step mother used to single me out for special mental abuse as I was the only child in my Dad's second marriage that wasn't hers. Blamed for things I didn't do, punished accordingly, verbally abused, then on one occasion because I screamed in pain when one of my step siblings bit me hard for no reason and got punished by my Dad before he went out, she threw me to the ground in front of some women friend of hers I had never met and started laying the boot into me. I think I was nearly 10 at the time.
They broke up many times and got back together a week or two later and she would come back and abuse me for eating food that had been left in the cupboard. I was so accustomed to her going back and being abusive to me, it took me until I was 18 to give her a serve back and it stopped right there.
For his part my Dad turned to alcohol in between all this drama, and lashed out at me on occasion. My older step brother stayed with us, bashed his girlfriend on numerous occasions, beat up my Dad and even knocked me on my arse a few time for walking in at the wrong time.
I've been set upon by a couple of grown men in a car park at night time when I was about 15, and I was only saved by a guy walking past with his Mum and hearing it happen.
I firmly believe in horses for courses where violence is concerned. I have seen it from friends, family, mothers, fathers, children, and nobody is exempt. I have so many reasons to take personal circumstances and channel my angst towards women, but I have seen them as victims so many times as well.
Some feminists are shallow, full of hate and not nearly as enlightened as they claim to be. It is not all one way traffic. There are outliers in every group that you have to ignore and not make representative of an issue when it comes up.
So while I completely relate to your story, the frustration, the stuff you had to ignore so your reaction wasn't used against you, a system whereby a father has less rights than the mother, I would just advise you to try not to apply that that to other situations and try to take everything at face value. This is not a gender war, it's an ignorance war and our trials in getting a fair go for ourselves are not the fault of women who find themselves subject to bullying or domestic violence.
I find most women empathise with my own struggles as long as I don't judge them based on those struggles.

