Universal Love Essendon Board Posters Of The Year - Ben the Gooner and Hirdismyhero

[Doss]

This is it.

The final showdown.

The big Cahuna.

We had so many nominations that we couldn't fit them in one poll, so if you are voting for any of the three below:

Beerfish
scezza
Bark Maguley

...then either post as such in this thread, or PM one of the mods and we'll keep a running tally.

Votes from non-Essendon posters will not count.

The poll will be open for ten days.

Oh yeah, there were a few 'joke' nominations that, obviously, we couldn't count. Either the whole not having posted for five years thing (Merv) or being, well, sneakyjetta.

Vote away!

 

[Jade]

​

Ask not what Jade can do for you, ask what you can do for Jade

Now you may find yourself wondering, why should I do a damn thing for Jade?

Well gather round ye young and impressionable brethren, and allow me to regale you with the many excellent reasons that you should crown me your God amongst trolls men.

- I started the Tanked events. Yes, the truly revolutionary idea of getting pissed before a football game, that was me. We’re up to six now, and the many damaged livers on the Essendon board thank me for it.

- The Delusional Pearlers thread, that one’s mine. Whenever a deluded Norf fan mouths the word Atley, we’ll be there. Whenever a Carlton fan states that Watson ‘might’ get a gig in their side as the fifth or sixth best midfielder, we WILL be there….

- Player Sponsorship, every year I’m the single largest donator from the board. I’m lead to believe in politics that buying votes is totally legit and above board.

- I set the BigFooty Podcast record for F-bombs in a thirty second window. Said F-bombs were directed at Carlton, which means they are worth double.

- I’m just so damn witty…..

All good reasons, I know. But ask yourself this:

Can you really afford another year of Lance Uppercut?

A year in which the club was dragged through the mud, our coach was suspended, our finals spot swiped and our chairman departed. Can you really stomach another year of this? Tell Lance that you won’t, and vote Jade.

Should you vote Kong? Well you could. Matter of fact, that you can overlook his use of board funds when he was a mod to pay for hookers is very big of you. You didn’t realise he was a mod? Well he did undergo a highly suspect name change near the end of his tenure……

Maybe you’re more of a Ben the Gooner fan. That’s great. I mean, it doesn’t matter that he abandoned the sombre responsibility of manning the player sponsorship fort. You can trust a bloke like that, I’m sure of it.

Hirdismyhero? In the six tanked events, he’s attended the only two that I was unable to get to. Now I’m not some big city lawyer, but it seems to me he just doesn’t like me because I’m 1/8th Cherokee. He wouldn’t be the first racist to be elected, and good for you for sticking to your guns and not changing your vote because he’s a hate filled sheet wearer.

Many of you podcast fans may be considering voting for The Prosecutor. Bravo, I can see why you’d do that. Radio presenters have always been amongst the most honest *cough Laws* and respected *cough Kyle* members of the community. And members of the media have always been fair and unbiased in their approach to all things Essendon. I’m sure Pros has absolutely no interest all things chaos.

You might be considering Bipolarbear. I mean, I guess you could do that, but you do remember the last bipolar SOB we had in office don’t you? I mean, do you really want a POTY come May/June that didn’t even win an election?

I’m pretty sure rines could do a better job than the last woman in office. She’d never lie about important issues just to win the favour of the people. No….. of course she wouldn’t.

I wonder how eth-dog would do with an election win. There were accusations that he tried to fudge bid numbers on the List Management game in return for sexual favours. Come to think of it, he’d fit right in with an election win. Classy.

Stay Classy BF, you owe it to yourself – vote Jade.

 

[Doss]

I'd probably just save my breath and say "vote for me or you're all dicks".

 

[Jade]

I'd probably just save my breath and say "vote for me AND you're all dicks".

EFA....

 

[eth-dog]

I abstain from voting. Cos I'm a good guy, and all of the candidates would be worthy winners. Actually, * that, voting Hirdismyhero, legendary bloke.

 

[raskolnikov]

View attachment 35526​

Ask not what Jade can do for you, ask what you can do for Jade

Now you may find yourself wondering, why should I do a damn thing for Jade?

Well gather round ye young and impressionable brethren, and allow me to regale you with the many excellent reasons that you should crown me your God amongst trolls men.

- I started the Tanked events. Yes, the truly revolutionary idea of getting pissed before a football game, that was me. We’re up to six now, and the many damaged livers on the Essendon board thank me for it.

- The Delusional Pearlers thread, that one’s mine. Whenever a deluded Norf fan mouths the word Atley, we’ll be there. Whenever a Carlton fan states that Watson ‘might’ get a gig in their side as the fifth or sixth best midfielder, we WILL be there….

- Player Sponsorship, every year I’m the single largest donator from the board. I’m lead to believe in politics that buying votes is totally legit and above board.

- I set the BigFooty Podcast record for F-bombs in a thirty second window. Said F-bombs were directed at Carlton, which means they are worth double.

- I’m just so damn witty…..

All good reasons, I know. But ask yourself this:

Can you really afford another year of Lance Uppercut?

A year in which the club was dragged through the mud, our coach was suspended, our finals spot swiped and our chairman departed. Can you really stomach another year of this? Tell Lance that you won’t, and vote Jade.

Should you vote Kong? Well you could. Matter of fact, that you can overlook his use of board funds when he was a mod to pay for hookers is very big of you. You didn’t realise he was a mod? Well he did undergo a highly suspect name change near the end of his tenure……

Maybe you’re more of a Ben the Gooner fan. That’s great. I mean, it doesn’t matter that he abandoned the sombre responsibility of manning the player sponsorship fort. You can trust a bloke like that, I’m sure of it.

Hirdismyhero? In the six tanked events, he’s attended the only two that I was unable to get to. Now I’m not some big city lawyer, but it seems to me he just doesn’t like me because I’m 1/8th Cherokee. He wouldn’t be the first racist to be elected, and good for you for sticking to your guns and not changing your vote because he’s a hate filled sheet wearer.

Many of you podcast fans may be considering voting for The Prosecutor. Bravo, I can see why you’d do that. Radio presenters have always been amongst the most honest *cough Laws* and respected *cough Kyle* members of the community. And members of the media have always been fair and unbiased in their approach to all things Essendon. I’m sure Pros has absolutely no interest all things chaos.

You might be considering Bipolarbear. I mean, I guess you could do that, but you do remember the last bipolar SOB we had in office don’t you? I mean, do you really want a POTY come May/June that didn’t even win an election?

I’m pretty sure rines could do a better job than the last woman in office. She’d never lie about important issues just to win the favour of the people. No….. of course she wouldn’t.

I wonder how eth-dog would do with an election win. There were accusations that he tried to fudge bid numbers on the List Management game in return for sexual favours. Come to think of it, he’d fit right in with an election win. Classy.

Stay Classy BF, you owe it to yourself – vote Jade.

You're not doing yourself a whole heap of favours here.

 

[VelvetSledge]

You all know who I was voting for. Best of luck to all!

Except you

 

[Jade]

You're not doing yourself a whole heap of favours here.

That's the joke....

 

[Bark Maguley]

Bark Maguley

 

[Rack Watts]

Good luck all, voted HiMH.
Fantastic contributer, always up for a laugh.

 

[raskolnikov]

That's the joke....

Yeah I know. I was just giving you the bite you were after.

 

[Mercurial89]

Stay Classy BF, you owe it to yourself – vote Jade.

Couldn't vote for you mate, sorry had to vote someone else. Ill buy you a beer at the next tanked, id say that is worth more than a vote

 

[Phone]

i've never ever been wrong and my view is that voting is for pansies

 

[The Prosecutor]

Phone to win in a landslide of ironic votes.

 

[monty1104]

Geez, 2 years running without a nomination. I guess ill have to be better/funnier/more sarcastic next year.

 

[Drummer_19]

Geez, 2 years running without a nomination. I guess ill have to be better/funnier/more sarcastic next year.

I thought I really brought low volume - high quality posting to an all time high but seems as tho the top 20 is hard to break in to.

 

[The Jet]

I voted enough for Jade in the Big brother house, this time, I'm voting for Kong. Those King Kong movies were always great. Including a Simpsons episode also.

Obviously can't vote for myself. I wouldn't anyway. Even though this is a newer account and the information I had posted in this forum section with my previous account of Jobe3votes, I stillt hink I am a year too early to even think about being a top 10 contender in this.

Just glad I'm in the top 20.

Get set to vote for The Jet

 

[CourtzMajora]

That's the joke....

 

[Ashton Agar]

Classy of Jack Package to vote for himself.

If I had known that I might not have voted him! Nah jokes.

 

[Kong]

Went for quality over quantity: Mercurial89

Just seem to agree with his posts, and doesn't seem to jump down people's throats, which is good.

Enjoyable to read his his posts.

Oh and bad luck to Hirdismyhero, who's now out of the running due to his promotion. "This" close!

 

[Zach Package]

Classy of Jack Package to vote for himself.

If I had known that I might not have voted him! Nah jokes.

My pledge is a simple one, vote for me, I'm such a good bloke I'm not going to dredge up my old account and vote for myself twice

 

[VelvetSledge]

My pledge is a simple one, vote for me, I'm such a good bloke I'm not going to dredge up my old account and vote for myself twice

ZAHARAAAKIIISSSS

 

[Andronicus]

This is genuinely hard to decide.

Down to a shortlist of 5. Why weren't there this many good candidates in the federal election this year.

 

[Whispering_Jack]

Between being awarded modship and currently leading the EFC POTY, everything is coming up Hirdismyhero

 

[eth-dog]

This is genuinely hard to decide.

Down to a shortlist of 5. Why weren't there this many good candidates in the federal election this year.

Yep, 0 good candidates for PM