Think Tank Essendon's next captain

[Supercoach Bargain]

 

[Mofra]

Future 7th rounder for him.

Generous

 

[Supreme_Chancellor]

You know what time it is Dons fans

 

[Pistol Night]

View attachment 2427833

Nah Steele Sidebottom tried this in his captaincy audition and the campaigner missed out

 

[Hydatina Physis]

 

[StackedHunch]

Jake Stringer

20

Jake Stringer

Age

31

Ht

192cm

Wt

92kg

Pos.

Fwd

Career

Season

Last 5

D

12.9

3star

K

8.5

3star

HB

4.4

3star

M

3.3

3star

T

2.5

4star

G

1.8

5star

D

8.5

2star

K

7.0

3star

HB

1.5

1star

M

2.8

3star

T

3.8

4star

G

2.5

5star

D

7.2

2star

K

4.8

2star

HB

2.4

3star

M

2.6

3star

T

1.4

4star

G

1.4

5star

to return as captain!




Pros: very creative ways of stimulating locker room talk
Cons: Prone to distraction during finals time (being school holidays)

 

[Sarcoidevo]

Pros - guaranteed to report back on player behaviour to the Club Board

Cons - guaranteed to go to jail

 

[Elmer_Hauser]

PROS: Will spare no expense to make Essendon great again and even use club funds and bankers money to build a unique Titanic hybrid plane-frigate from Tullamarine

CONS: Will leave Essingtin with massive crippling debts that would eventually see the club eventually become insolvent and liquidated and fold (hey is that really such a bad thing)

 

[CatToTheFuture]

Bob Katter

View attachment 2426538

Pros: will encourage membership growth among Lebanese community
Cons: will likely be suspended in first few matches for making homophobic slurs

Surely he would let 1000 blossoms bloom

 

[Sarcoidevo]

PROS: Will spare no expense to make Essendon great again and even use club funds and bankers money to build a unique Titanic hybrid plane-frigate from Tullamarine

CONS: Will leave Essingtin with massive crippling debts that would eventually see the club eventually become insolvent and liquidated and fold (hey is that really such a bad thing)

Thats actually 2 Pros ...... just like in your dreams

 

[zackah]

Pros: an experienced and respected leader in the football community. Enjoys a good headbutt.

Cons: is occasionally prone to outbursts and is known to hit people with a hammer. Also has a third leg making it difficult for him to run.

 

[Hydatina Physis]

Also has a third leg making it difficult for him to run.

Always pictured you as a freak.

 

[Mofra]

View attachment 2428263

Pros: an experienced and respected leader in the football community. Enjoys a good headbutt.

Cons: is occasionally prone to outbursts and is known to hit people with a hammer. Also has a third leg making it difficult for him to run.

Zach Shirvington confirmed

 

[catscratchfever]

2026 Essingdum team photo

 

[Mofra]

Pros: Gettable, younger than Todd Goldstein

17

Todd Goldstein

Age

37

Ht

201cm

Wt

101kg

Pos.

Ruck

Career

Season

Last 5

D

13.2

3star

K

5.7

2star

HB

7.5

5star

CL

3.1

5star

HO

32.5

5star

D

16.7

4star

K

9.3

4star

HB

7.4

4star

CL

7.0

5star

HO

32.9

5star

D

5.2

2star

K

2.6

1star

HB

2.6

3star

HO

10.0

5star

Cons: Hates captains so likely to belt himself

 

[StackedHunch]

Cal Twomey



Pros: will be able to facilitate his own trade when things go South
Cons: Essendon's medical staff don't have the expertise to treat teenage acne

 

[Elmer_Hauser]

PROS: Will appeal to the nutty right wing Christian Fundamentalists on Essendon's board and coterie groups

CONS: Will be cancelled by most club sponsors and majority of decent, unbigoted and tolerant Essingtin supporters and players.

 

[Saveloy Rockstar]

The perfect solution has just come on the market…



Pros: once played for a good club so knows what success looks like

Also played for a shit club so is used to failure

Cons: trick cyclist who likes fridgey Fridays and gambling

 

[Chronz]

The perfect solution has just come on the market…

View attachment 2429818

Pros: once played for a good club so knows what success looks like

Also played for a shit club so is used to failure

Cons: trick cyclist who likes fridgey Fridays and gambling

He'd be bloody useful right now. Pity he ****ed it all up.

 

[the avoca drover]

PROS: Will appeal to the nutty right wing Christian Fundamentalists on Essendon's board and coterie groups

CONS: Will be cancelled by most club sponsors and majority of decent, unbigoted and tolerant Essingtin supporters and players.

Who’s that?

 

[NetworkNerd]

Who’s that?

Right click, search with Google Lens.... Kirk Cameron, Brother of Candace Cameron from full house

 

[Elmer_Hauser]

Right click, search with Google Lens.... Kirk Cameron, Brother of Candace Cameron from full house

View attachment 2430133

Also known as that dork from that annoying 80s sitcom Growing Pains.

He had been spewing anti gay/trans/black people biblical based rhetoric for years, even before Trump became President.

Also anti medical science cooker.

 

[Mofra]

Pros: Will take responsibility to be captain now, will steer the ship
Cons: Probably not comfortable being based so far inland

 

[Happy Mastenator]

Pros: believes in playing the youth

Cons: Dead

 

[Cyclops]

View attachment 2429326
Pros: Gettable, younger than Todd Goldstein
Cons: Hates captains so likely to belt himself

...he already has it coming...
...and will be punished by the teams leader with exactly proportionate force...