Farming Simulator ‘17

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RupieDupie

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Jun 30, 2017
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I figured this game out, if you buy this to try and simulate farming you tend to run into very few issues, and the physics of the game seem to go alright.

Trying to do donuts in a paddock using the ute, and the game loses a bit of realism. The ute has shocking oversteer, understeer, and any kind of realism at any speed above 25km/h.

When the lambo tractor gets to 65km/h the wheels stop rotating, its like gliding. Going GTA on the citizens near the bakery with the Case IH Combine Harvester and the header ghosts right through them and the citizens seem non-plussed.

But if you plough one of those paddocks, and sow your seed, fertilising it, it’s just like sex.

Here’s my tip for this game, start on easy mode, sell all the grain in the silos, then sell all the tractors, then buy a solar panel. Leave the PS4 on all day, with game time @120x real time, then when you get home from work buy a solar panel, leave the PS4 on all day with game time @120x real time, then when you get home from work buy two solar panels, repeat and then buy four solar panels, then eight, sixteen, thirty two, sixty four etc etc in no time at all you will get the solution to the wheat and chessboard problem.
 

RupieDupie

Guru
Jun 30, 2017
4,228
3,499
AFL Club
GWS
I figured this game out, if you buy this to try and simulate farming you tend to run into very few issues, and the physics of the game seem to go alright.

Trying to do donuts in a paddock using the ute, and the game loses a bit of realism. The ute has shocking oversteer, understeer, and any kind of realism at any speed above 25km/h.

When the lambo tractor gets to 65km/h the wheels stop rotating, its like gliding. Going GTA on the citizens near the bakery with the Case IH Combine Harvester and the header ghosts right through them and the citizens seem non-plussed.

But if you plough one of those paddocks, and sow your seed, fertilising it, it’s just like sex.

Here’s my tip for this game, start on easy mode, sell all the grain in the silos, then sell all the tractors, then buy a solar panel. Leave the PS4 on all day, with game time @120x real time, then when you get home from work buy a solar panel, leave the PS4 on all day with game time @120x real time, then when you get home from work buy two solar panels, repeat and then buy four solar panels, then eight, sixteen, thirty two, sixty four etc etc in no time at all you will get the solution to the wheat and chessboard problem.

...I thought I posted this in the Video Games Section?
 
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RupieDupie

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...I thought I posted this in the Video Games Section?

But anywho, here’s some of the mods I tried out,
1) Birchip B&S ball mod
2) Deni ute muster
3) Manangatang tractor pull
4) Henty field days
5) Kyabram rodeo
6) Swan Hill races
7) Gol Gol pub
8) Bathurst mount panorama
9) Tamworth country music festival
10) Elvis at Parkes
 

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RupieDupie

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Did you know when it is cold, like freezing near dawn, Cows will huddle together close as they can to the Road?

No I didn’t know that, that’s a nice factoid. I knew a guy who grew up on a dairy farm with a rotary dairy, and they used to feed cows while they were being milked, so anywho apparently there was a cow pretty keen to get in a pen one day while the rotary was turning. Apparently it wasn’t pleasant to watch. I’m not sure if the tech has increased since those days to avoid this.
 

RupieDupie

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Simulation games are pretty intimate outlets. When I bought a copy of Grand Theft Auto I remember the lady behind the counter described what she liked doing in the game to me in intimate detail. You can’t un-remember s**t like that. What goes on in GTA should stay in GTA. But now GTA is multiplayer online, it’s become like Twitter, but a bit less obscene, with people showing off the other side.

Hunter S Thomson described this phenomena well, as a drug fiend, a person can handle some weird s**t, like seeing their grandma crawl up their legs with a knife in their mouth, but going online and seeing some red-necked-hick from Arkansas getting their kicks by running over a group of ethnically diverse peoples, and then it’s time to close the curtains on the show.

When Farming Simulator goes MMOG that’s when the weird s**t’s going to come out. There would be random people dressed in lederhosen chasing strangers in combine harvesters.
 

RupieDupie

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And if you’re after a bit of wood then don’t go past the Ponsse Scorpion King, this’ll give you some wood;



 

RupieDupie

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Interestingly, for such a clean cut game, the town within the game is such a shihole. There is trash all over the place. I’m not sure if one of the goals of the game is to get a front loader and clean up after the townsfolk. They’re like a pack of pigs.

But I think I figured out why, for some random reason when you move close to an object you can pick it up and throw it, it’s similar to No Mans Sky in that respect, where it seems like this interactivity (non farming) was just added in as an afterthought. In most cases a huge warning pops up on the screen stating, “this object is too heavy”, but in other instances you’re allowed to turf s**t around, like pot plants and lithium batteries.

I’m thinking they put some real AI consciousness into the AI citizens of the game to make them behave more realistically, but because the poor fookers can’t meaningfully interact they spend their time throwing s**t around. I’m pretty sure there was waste on the ground in one part of the town spelling out “help me!”
 
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RupieDupie

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It’s these kinds of existential absurdisms and hells that keep me up all night. Sometimes I get the feeling I’m in a MMOG, because of the Sisyphean nightmare of modern capitalist munny obsessed society. Some fooker is “out there” at work right now, leaving the game they’re playing on running at 120x real time speed, and within the game here I am working a repetitive bureaucratic desk job, mining them gold or levelling them up so they can save up for a Massey Ferguson tractor. I feel you Farming Simulator sprites, I know why you’ve defiled your town with garbage.
 

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RupieDupie

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Anyway, here’s the end.

The end of this game is like trying to reach a point in infinitesimal calculus, a.k.a. a limit. You can never quite get there. Is it buying all the tractors, ploughing all the fields, or going postal when everything just grows back again or withers?

For farming simulation I give this game four and a half stars out of five, for any other kind of interaction I give this game half a star out of five.

Farming Simulator, the game that lives up to the expectation of the title.
 
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But anywho, here’s some of the mods I tried out,
1) Birchip B&S ball mod - been to it
2) Deni ute muster - been to it
3) Manangatang tractor pull - been to it
4) Henty field days - been to it
5) Kyabram rodeo - been to it
6) Swan Hill races - been to it
7) Gol Gol pub - been to it
8) Bathurst mount panorama - haven't been to that
9) Tamworth country music festival - haven't been to that
10) Elvis at Parkes - been to it
 

RupieDupie

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Jun 30, 2017
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Apologies for bumping this, and mods please feel free to move this to the Video Game Section.

Farming Simulator has been much on my mind recently, given that I’ve been playing it, this shouldn’t be surprising.

Shakespeare noted there are only two types of drama, comedy and tragedy, and similar sentiments can be expressed with video games, there are only two types, those that provide an outlet for violent desires, and those that provide an outlet for sexual desires. Farming Simulator is definitely an example of the latter. The whole game is about sex, but at the same time also acts like an antagonistic hormone against those that lead to sexual stimulation, like a suppressor.

Incidentally I was at a gym once and a very attractive person walked passed an old fella one day, and this fella turns to me and remarks, “I know I should be feeling something right about now, but I can’t remember what the feeling was”. The same effect is given by playing Farming Simulator for 7 hours straight, but not only sans sexual stimulation, sans every other kind of stimulation.

I brought up HST before, so I’m going to bring him up again, in his seminal essay, ‘The Kentucky Derby is decadent and depraved’ he notes he is trying to find “that look” and then he sees it looking back at himself in the mirror after going on a bender. Well after playing Farming Simulator for 7 hours straight I got what I imagine to be a Kentucky farmer face staring back at me in the mirror, and then when I exclaimed in horror, my voice came out as a Southern drawl “y’all”!

Yep, if there’s another way a person can fruck themselves up like the Mt Isa mines have done to the children who live there, with lead, Farming Simulator is that way. It is this type of realism that Farming Simulator brings to the table that makes it such a commendable game in the simulation games franchise.
 

RupieDupie

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Jun 30, 2017
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would tap

Maybe in a future release tapping trees will be a possibility, maybe with a Canadian farm, to harvest some maple. But at this stage this feature does not exist.

Could also be rubber tapping, like they do in Malaysia. I met a guy whose father worked as a rubber tapper, and these guys will be up before dawn in the rubber plantations, and apparently one rule was not to tell anyone your name, else the spirits of the forests will know your name. What these spirits would then do is pretend they are your workmate or colleague in distress, “help me <insert name here>!”, they would say, and when the worker goes to help the voice keeps on moving farther away, “help me”, until the worker is lost. Never to be seen again. This would add a nice additional functionality of the game; tapping wood.
 

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