Fattest AFL player

soupofficial

All Australian
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Thread starter #1
One of the great things about Our Game is that it's a broad church. Tall players, short players, flighty runners, pack burrowers. We love them all, don't we.

And since this is Big Footy, it's time to create a big, wide space to discuss who the fattest players are in the AFL today. Ones who are defying their club's exasperated sports scientists and fitness staff. The players whose figure-hugging guernseys don't keep nearly enough secrets. The ones whose sweat drains from their torsos and inner thighs through a detailed network of fat roll creases and trenches. These are the men who we celebrate. These are the men who get the people through turnstiles that they themselves aren't easily able to fit through.

If you become short of breath pondering your response to this thread, just sit down for a few minutes and relax have a choccie milk. Unlike the players you're seeking to list, you won't be penalised for arriving at the contest 10 seconds late.

This thread accepts all types. Whether you're a Jack Stringer type operator, who is a bit too girthsome to run away from sexual misconduct allegations, or whether you're more of a Kayle Kirby type, whose cardiologist doesn't want your curvaceous form moving anywhere at faster than a walk, just be yourself.
 

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Starburns_

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Moderator #11
Stewie Dew circa 2008 owns this thread. Right now he's probably below his playing weight. :drunk:

Imagine the uproar if the same thread was created about AFLW players
Why would there be an uproar? Seems fairly clear cut to me...

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Total_Juddshanks

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#25
I think all of his game is based around avoiding burning unnecessary calories.

Following leading forwards or sprinting to spoil?? "Nah **** that shit, I'll just go stand in a good spot and wait for the opposition midfielders to kick it to me."

Ground level second efforts? "Nah I'll just mark everything so I don't have to."

Run and carry? "Why don't I just kick it 50m to a teammate. If I hit the target it'll stay up there and I can take a breather."

Add to that an ample backside which makes it impossible for anyone to get near him in marking contests and he's invented a way for fat lazy campaigners to play AA calibre football.
 
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