FB statuses decoded.

[Bennett.]

"My wife saying nice things about me"

Decoded - I have hacked her account.

 

[JockStewart]

I don't get it, you wouldn't put up with this sort of stupidity away from facebook, why put up with online? You would rather put up with this sort of behaviour as opposed to blocking them..so you won't offend them?

Or is it so you can have a bitch online about it?

So glad I have avoided facebook.

 

[JockStewart]

I get the feeling most of you have faecesbook (unintentional typo that I like so will keep!) in order to be annoyed by it!

I stopped reading a couple of post above yours but you summed it up better than moi.

 

[dales.girl38]

How does someone know if you've hidden them?

I wouldn't have thought people you hid would ever find out? I've hidden a few people, including a family member, but nothing's been brought up. As for dealing with annoying updates, you can simply hide them from your news feed, it's worked wonders for me .

They couldn't see that I had hidden her, it was just my ignorance about a few of my cousin's posts that gave me away. She'd been posting a lot of rubbish shortly after my grandad died that was upsetting the rest of the family and people were shocked that I wasn't saying anything about it because I was by far the closest to him (they all live interstate). It was kind of obvious that I had hidden her. Oh well, lesson learnt.

 

[Pie 4 Life]

A girl on mine was telling everybody about her boyfriend had cheated on her and broke up with her. I'm sympathetic, but when it was seven statuses in a couple of hours, it was getting ridculous.

Girl "People who have been cheated on.......Wats the best way to heal...nothing is working"

The usual people comforting her and telling her it will be ok. Then this:​

Guy: "Try clogging up every ones news feed talking about it"​

Laughed quite hard about that. Sadly, she continued and now has 12 since yesterday...​

I do feel for her and people in that situation, but there's trying to talk to someone, and then just posting every hour about how it's ruining your life.

 

[Stratton_Gun]

heres one from a "friend" of mine yesterday



My reply


last time i checked, my reply had 40ish likes

Think that status is copied from other websites. I have seen it before

 

[Smoooothy]

Think that status is copied from other websites. I have seen it before

possibly.. it wouldn't surprise me though. woman would own the fat opinionated bitches thread

 

[Igloo]

"I wish someone would just say yes" - followed by about 5 people saying yes.
"Why does it always end up the same?"
"Sick of trying"

You get the idea. Posted by incredibly ugly man constantly trying to pick up. If he didn't try and bat way out of his league all the time, maybe he would have more success.

 

[I bleed Blue]

A girl on mine was telling everybody about her boyfriend had cheated on her and broke up with her. I'm sympathetic, but when it was seven statuses in a couple of hours, it was getting ridculous.

Girl "People who have been cheated on.......Wats the best way to heal...nothing is working"

The usual people comforting her and telling her it will be ok. Then this:​

Guy: "Try clogging up every ones news feed talking about it"​

Laughed quite hard about that. Sadly, she continued and now has 12 since yesterday...​

I do feel for her and people in that situation, but there's trying to talk to someone, and then just posting every hour about how it's ruining your life.

I have no idea why people want their relationship/break ups to play out in such a public forum like facebook.

Have this one bloke, lets call him Flog, from our football club. His missez broke up with him, and every day he will post some "woe is me. I am so sad and lonely" post. It was honestly embarrassing, pathetic and down right annoying.

He also posted a whole bunch of "inspirational" love quote photos.

He would not quit posting these pathetic attention seaking posts despite mass amounts of trolling and genuine posts like "Flog, stop posting these sorts of things. Women want a man, not an emotional boy that they need to look after".

After weeks of sobbing posts about his ex he posted something like "had a great night watching movies and cuddling with an amazing girl. you know who you are )))))"

The first reply was from some random girl saying "Haha I thoought you would never find another girl blah blah blah".

This triggered the greatest facebook fight in history with his mum and sister jumping to his defence.

A great laugh for me but honestly embarassing and pathetic from Flog.

So once again.... I really have no idea why people want to play these things out in a public forum.

 

[Poseidon]

"I am gay and love penis any men wanna sex??"

Comment: My friend hacked my account.

Decoded: I left my facebook signed on and my friends updated my status with some homoerotic comments, ever so creative because nobody does that. Also I don't know what 'hacking' means.

 

[raff23]

the general consensus imo is dont write a status which is asking for people to write a smart alec response to. I usually keep status's sports based, recommending good places to go or good movies or posting funny photos or captions ocassionally. I might have a whinge about something and write it as a status but im not expecting replies its a vent of frustration. Status's about babies and "oh im so hungover such a crazy bitch i am" are attention seeking crap from people who have no life or are immature.

 

[Uncle_Leo]

I have a cousin who is a security guard, tends to update at night and when he decides he is goin to update his status he doesn't hold back even though we have older members of the family on there

"downloaded total recall, gunna have a few pipe then start the movie I'll tell ya if u should spend cash on it at the cinemas"

"who smokes the green stuff?"

"Ferrets are fed, weed is mixed, house is empty"

Once these statuses are up we get the follow ups after the weed has set in

"my bum hurts"

"black velvet if you pleeeeeeeeeease"

"adghfdcfthvdxethbvcscfghnghf"

"is anybody there "

"tiiiiiiiiirreddd gion to beehhdddddaaaahz"

 

[Poseidon]

Interested in the backstory behind the "my bum hurts" status.

 

[Uncle_Leo]

Interested in the backstory behind the "my bum hurts" status.

Got 6 replies, all from his friends except one from my other cousin "****ING KNEW IT, I STILL LOVE YA BROV"

The Ferretts fed, weed mixed is still my favourite status because we were at a family function and I asked his parents where he was and they told me was at work.

 

[Bunk Moreland]

So once again.... I really have no idea why people want to play these things out in a public forum.

As I said earlier I don’t have FB, but I have been genuinely shocked on a few occasions at the sheer level of w***ery that people have posted. My ex used to show me what was on hers sometimes when she got a big laugh, and I was just WTF... people who I knew pretty well and had very high regard for (obviously I had no FB contact with them), really good people, and some of the pathetic / narcissistic / wanky / attention seeking / tryhard / downright moronic stuff that they had written on FB absolutely blew my mind. I couldn’t believe it was the same people. I was just “how on earth could you broadcast something like that publicly without knowing what a ****head you come across as?”

I think it’s probably true that the internet brings out the worst in most of us. I guess we are all tools sometimes, and when you get into the habit of posting your thoughts online, it just shows everyone.

It’s probably a bit of a slippery slope I reckon, you start off being very wary about what you write, then slowly let your guard down over time, and some people just slip so far that they just have no more proper relativity and comprehension about how they’re coming across.

 

[Scotland]

You guys obviously don't have friends/family with young kids. Talk about nauseating, mundane shit! No one gives a **** if your child woke you up at 4am or spat a piece of carrot out. I have a two year old so it's not like I don't understand how cute you think it is but I know no one else gives a ****!

I do. No need to worry about grabbing the photo albums if your house ever catches fire - you've documented every second of your kid's life on facebook.

'Awwwwwwwwwww, he just said his first word. What a special moment. Honey? Did you hear it? Are you listening?'
'Sorry, just updating status from iPhone. "First word, yeow. #Lovemykids #bestlife #blessed"'

 

[Scotland]

Girl "People who have been cheated on.......Wats the best way to heal...nothing is working"

The usual people comforting her and telling her it will be ok. Then this:​

Guy: "Try clogging up every ones news feed talking about it"

I joined facebook in 2007.

At first I was like 'so what's this all about, is it like myspace or something?'

Then I got on board with the idea of sharing some photos and keeping in contact with friends overseas.

And then I saw the potential for trolling. Wherever there is a medium for people to post inane shit, there is ample opportunity to troll them.

 

[Knife Wrench]

 

[Smoooothy]

This triggered the greatest facebook fight in history with his mum and sister jumping to his defence.

this needs posting in a public forum, such as bigfooty

also, i completely agree with you regarding fighting on facebook. it's pretty lame, and usually pretty funny when it happens

the internet is serious business

 

[WeNeverTanked!]

Actual status: "Cuddles with the best friend having a movie night, we are fatties, YOLO!!" *picture of combination of chocolate's,lollies,soft drink,cookie doe,chips*

Decoded: Me and my friend went to the shops and bought to much junk just to get likes on Facebook, we aren't cuddling, we probably will watch a movie but sit on the Internet and talk through it all, and we may take a selfie or two."

 

[BILC]

"Oh no I'm not gonna have enough money to go to America, FML "

20 minutes later

"Stop posting your ****ing problems on facebook, no one cares"

 

[Scotland]

Wannabe political commentators should also GTFO.

People who take no real interest in politics, but feel the need to share their ill-informed opinion on whatever is topical enough to bump Kim Kardashian or The X Factor off the front page of news.com.au. Typically something inane about Obama or Gillard doing something amazing, or Romney or Abbott doing something terrible.

If you try to engage them in political debate, they run. If you troll them they get narky. The 'remove from news feed' option is your friend.

 

[Hap Hapablap]

"i was up all night watching anime and this "insert anime name" here made me so depressed i cried to sleep at night." thank god mum and dad were there to comfort me while i cried"

my second cousin. who is 22, crying and wailing over a ****en anime that made him depressed. blocked and deleted the emo bitch. he has had far worse than that. dont know how he is even related to me.

 

[Punchy Bassett]

Pardon my ignorance what does YOLO mean?

 

[Smoooothy]

Pardon my ignorance what does YOLO mean?

you only live once

jesus, don't you know anything.....