FB statuses decoded.

[The_Reaper]

Both from the same person in less than five minutes. I'd decode for you but unfortunately I only speak English.

How could you possible use foah for for?
Even the laziness excuse doesn't explain it.

 

[Righteo]

To account for phonetic accuracy obviously, I spell beer as beeyah.

 

[Ed_Gein]

"Soooooo over dating assholes! I'm going to find a nice guy next time"

decoded - I'm going to date another arseh*le, because he's hot and i'm so shallow.

 

[Ed_Gein]

Hahahah, right.

I don't get the obsession with Emma Watson. She's like a 7. If I were a guy it'd be Jessica Alba or Cheryl Cole

Jessica Alba is ok. But i don't really like the 'glammed' up look to be honest, which those 2 you mentioned often look in photos. I like Emma Watson because she has a natural, girl next door look, which i admire more.

 

[TubbsFarquhar]

*insert rant post here on wall of Gillard/Coles/Target etc.*

Decoded: I am an attention-seeking whore who only wants to rack up thousands of likes to higher my low self-esteem.

 

[Bunk Moreland]

As somebody who’s never used Facebook, would anybody here be able to give me an example of what a good status update would be, or one they’ve seen?? Firstly if I had it I have no idea what I’d ever put as a status without feeling like a dick (though I’m sure you can leave it blank??)... secondly, you must understand that for people who aren’t part of the FB world, all you ever hear about is the negatives of it... about all the ********* who are losers / attention seekers / narcissists / morons... is that all there is when it comes to statuses? It seems that way from the outside.

 

[NarniMagic]

A legitimate status from some flog on my facebook the other day. Sad thing is, it's gotten 91 likes so far! Mostly from insecure girls I'm certain.

"My confession is that i HATE guys who did the same thing i did in the past.
It's funny how i think i had the right to get angry when I'm just as bad. players can suck a dick

treat girls with respect, wether they are sluts, nerds, religious freaks or anything
they all have hearts, they all search for the same thing the all want the same type of guy.

And to the guys out there, you think your cool and unique for being a player.?? NO you want to be unique ? you want respect ? then be that rare 1 in a million type of guy who's good-looking, on the inside as much as he is on the outside

now thats a rare guy
that guy is an endangered species"

Translation: Hey girls I'm looking out for you, let's root!
PS: I'm exactly what I described in this status I'm just pandering to your insecure slutty ways!

 

[moses]

A legitimate status from some flog on my facebook the other day. Sad thing is, it's gotten 91 likes so far! Mostly from insecure girls I'm certain.

"My confession is that i HATE guys who did the same thing i did in the past.
It's funny how i think i had the right to get angry when I'm just as bad. players can suck a dick

treat girls with respect, wether they are sluts, nerds, religious freaks or anything
they all have hearts, they all search for the same thing the all want the same type of guy.

And to the guys out there, you think your cool and unique for being a player.?? NO you want to be unique ? you want respect ? then be that rare 1 in a million type of guy who's good-looking, on the inside as much as he is on the outside

now thats a rare guy
that guy is an endangered species"

Translation: Hey girls I'm looking out for you, let's root!
PS: I'm exactly what I described in this status I'm just pandering to your insecure slutty ways!

puke worthy

 

[Krujan]

A legitimate status from some flog on my facebook the other day. Sad thing is, it's gotten 91 likes so far! Mostly from insecure girls I'm certain.

"My confession is that i HATE guys who did the same thing i did in the past.
It's funny how i think i had the right to get angry when I'm just as bad. players can suck a dick

treat girls with respect, wether they are sluts, nerds, religious freaks or anything
they all have hearts, they all search for the same thing the all want the same type of guy.

And to the guys out there, you think your cool and unique for being a player.?? NO you want to be unique ? you want respect ? then be that rare 1 in a million type of guy who's good-looking, on the inside as much as he is on the outside

now thats a rare guy
that guy is an endangered species"

Translation: Hey girls I'm looking out for you, let's root!
PS: I'm exactly what I described in this status I'm just pandering to your insecure slutty ways!

Your mate should lay off the female hormones.

 

[Bunk Moreland]

Any chick who fell for that would seriously struggle making it through a single day without succumbing to one of the many fatal hazards we encounter in our daily lives.

I think you need to update us with a profile of the next bird this pllllllaaaaaaaaayyyyyAAAAAA lands.

 

[I bleed Blue]

A legitimate status from some flog on my facebook the other day. Sad thing is, it's gotten 91 likes so far! Mostly from insecure girls I'm certain.

"My confession is that i HATE guys who did the same thing i did in the past.
It's funny how i think i had the right to get angry when I'm just as bad. players can suck a dick

treat girls with respect, wether they are sluts, nerds, religious freaks or anything
they all have hearts, they all search for the same thing the all want the same type of guy.

And to the guys out there, you think your cool and unique for being a player.?? NO you want to be unique ? you want respect ? then be that rare 1 in a million type of guy who's good-looking, on the inside as much as he is on the outside

now thats a rare guy
that guy is an endangered species"

Translation: Hey girls I'm looking out for you, let's root!
PS: I'm exactly what I described in this status I'm just pandering to your insecure slutty ways!

Wow.

If I had this bloke on facebook, half the people I know (myself included) would tear shreads off that post.

That is a genuine flog status update.

 

[Simple Jack]

Any chick who fell for that would seriously struggle making it through a single day without succumbing to one of the many fatal hazards we encounter in our daily lives.

I think you need to update us with a profile of the next bird this pllllllaaaaaaaaayyyyyAAAAAA lands.

You would think so, but from what I remember of teenage girls (when I was a teenager) despite pretty well all of them falling for ridiculous nonsense like this, they were pretty resilient when it comes to avoiding moving cars etc.

Bit counter intuitive really.

 

[NarniMagic]

Wow.

If I had this bloke on facebook, half the people I know (myself included) would tear shreads off that post.

That is a genuine flog status update.

Oh I've got plenty of comedy gold on my facebook don't worry.
This unrelated to the prior flog but sums up the mentality of teenage girls in this generation.
Posted by a 16 year old **** on my facebook. Note the February 3rd is of this year, well after the "incident" occurred

 

[JockStewart]

It's amazing the amount of woman who follow chris brown even though he bashed the living shit out of Rhianna. Writing stuff like "I would so let Chris Brown beat me senseless if it means i get into his pants" is just a sad reflection on how low as a society we become.

 

[E Shed]

As somebody who’s never used Facebook, would anybody here be able to give me an example of what a good status update would be, or one they’ve seen?? Firstly if I had it I have no idea what I’d ever put as a status without feeling like a dick (though I’m sure you can leave it blank??)... secondly, you must understand that for people who aren’t part of the FB world, all you ever hear about is the negatives of it... about all the ********* who are losers / attention seekers / narcissists / morons... is that all there is when it comes to statuses? It seems that way from the outside.

Plenty of people post art/music/travel stuff with interesting pictures. I follow a couple of journos and musos who post interesting stuff all the time. people like Mick Thomas from Weddings Parties Anything will post his tour diaries from all over the world which are brilliantly written and fascinating. Stuart Coupe the long time Australian music journalist posts rare photos from all over the place to do with music and culture and ferrets out nuggets from the web I wouldn't find in a million years. Steve Kilbey from the Church rants and raves about all sorts of things, he is interesting and hilarious at times.
attention whores, too much politics or lame self obsession, simply adjust their settings to don't show me updates from this person.
It's no different from BigFooty, the sig to noise ration can be horrendous but you learn ways to sort the wheat from the chaff pretty quickly.

 

[NSWCROW]

How could you possible use foah for for?

Reminded me of the " Fwee faw fwee " ads

 

[Scotland]

"Soooooo over dating assholes! I'm going to find a nice guy next time"

decoded - I'm going to date another arseh*le, because he's hot and i'm so shallow.

Closely related to the 'why are guys such jerks / why do I get treated like shit etc.' posts, which usually attract a string of likes of 'luv u babe' & 'your (sic) too gud 4 them' comments. Occasionally a nice guy will post something geniune like 'sorry to hear that, you're a nice girl and deserve better' and you just know 'you're such a good friend' is coming...

How about perhaps because the fact that you continually go for complete f-wits just might be a contributing factor? Really, the high school drop-out with his own name tattooed across his arm whose profile picture consists of an iphone photo of him shirtless in front of the mirror with one of those stupid hats with the sticker on the brim isn't a great guy? Well I for one am shocked.

At least when guys go for hot girls that are either stupid, easy, gold-diggers or a combination of all three they are slightly more realistic about their motivation.

 

[Poseidon]

A legitimate status from some flog on my facebook the other day. Sad thing is, it's gotten 91 likes so far! Mostly from insecure girls I'm certain.

"My confession is that i HATE guys who did the same thing i did in the past.
It's funny how i think i had the right to get angry when I'm just as bad. players can suck a dick

treat girls with respect, wether they are sluts, nerds, religious freaks or anything
they all have hearts, they all search for the same thing the all want the same type of guy.

And to the guys out there, you think your cool and unique for being a player.?? NO you want to be unique ? you want respect ? then be that rare 1 in a million type of guy who's good-looking, on the inside as much as he is on the outside

now thats a rare guy
that guy is an endangered species"

Translation: Hey girls I'm looking out for you, let's root!
PS: I'm exactly what I described in this status I'm just pandering to your insecure slutty ways!

How old is this moron?

 

[Quivorir]

"Anyone wanna come to the beach with me and Tilly???"

Literally 15 mins later...

"So apparently I have no friends...Just dandy...I'm off to the beach with Matilda. Everyone else can get ****ed. Time to get new friends..."

How dare people work! And not live on Facebook!

 

[Howard Littlejohn]

How old is this moron?

My guess is 50. And he has a photo of a 20 year old in order to seduce the mentally fragile 15 year olds.
Or he's a catholic priest - which could mean much the same thing.

At least, that's how Today Tonight tells me the internet works.

 

[NarniMagic]

How old is this moron?

About 16/17 I believe. As an 18 year old myself, many of my associations through school/work and such are deluded morons like this fellow. I would delete people like him, but the lols are too much to give up.

 

[shurg123]

I posted a link to this thread as my Facebook status. I've kept my list mostly moron free but this will at least provide a good reference for them regarding what not to post .

Also, anyone who mentions the word 'froffy' on Facebook will get a punch in the face.

 

[Happy_Neale]

I posted a link to this thread as my Facebook status. I've kept my list mostly moron free but this will at least provide a good reference for them regarding what not to post .

Also, anyone who mentions the word 'froffy' on Facebook will get a punch in the face.

Hope your not following Billy Brownless in that case...

 

[____]

Reading this thread reminds me why I don't put my real last name on facebook. This is so people from High School don't add me. When I finished High School I deleted my facebook and made a new one. Most of my facebook friends are either genuine friends, people from uni (as I am currently a uni student) or girls I find attractive (but know in real life). I only have a few people on my friends list that aren't either of them and they all added me (I feel rude if I ignore a friend request from someone I know). A lot of people I had to put up with in High School are genuine flogs.

The most annoying facebook updates are those photos with quotes and what people are having for lunch/dinner. Luckily I don't get as many as I used to due to above reason. I also hate blatantly poor grammar. The "going to bed" and "good night/morning" statuses are also annoying, as well as when people post links to terrible songs.

I also find it slightly annoying when I go to a Lions or Roar game (or any not so major sporting event) and whoever I go with has to tag me in it. Anyone who knows me the slightest would know that if there is a Brisbane Lions or Roar home game, I would be there.

 

[Black Diamond]

I also find it slightly annoying when I go to a Lions or Roar game (or any not so major sporting event) and whoever I go with has to tag me in it. Anyone who knows me the slightest would know that if there is a Brisbane Lions or Roar home game, I would be there.

Being tagged at a location is the worst. It's just unnecessary and a way for people to brag about their lives.