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FB statuses decoded.

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I think facebook should have a feature whereby if your relationship status goes from 'in a relationship' to 'single' you are prevented from posting status updates for a decent period of time.

And vice versa.
 
Check out these 4 facebook statuses in the space of 24 hours.

"Running errands with a baby....tiring. Running errands with a baby while its pissing down... exhausting"
"Lucas has a temperature of 38.6 today took him to teh doctors just to be safe and he said it was probably from teething we got home and sure enough a third tooth has broken through"

"Lucas has a temperature again its up to 38.8 tried to give him Panadol and he just chucked it up (I don't blame him doesnt taste nice) so I have set my alarm for 4 hours to check on him... Poor little man his other two teeth didn't do this to him"

"laying in bed with my little man he woke up with a temparature not as bad as last night but still too high for child care. Poor little man I feel sorry for him. This tooth is really taking its toll"




We get it you have a baby, and he is teething. NO ONE GIVES A SHIT.
 

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A friend of mine put on Facebook something about Bert Newton being in hospital for his heart. I replied along the lines of "So Matt finally did it to him hey". He started on a tirade of how insensitive I was.

Whatever.
 
Check out these 4 facebook statuses in the space of 24 hours.

"Running errands with a baby....tiring. Running errands with a baby while its pissing down... exhausting"
"Lucas has a temperature of 38.6 today took him to teh doctors just to be safe and he said it was probably from teething we got home and sure enough a third tooth has broken through"

"Lucas has a temperature again its up to 38.8 tried to give him Panadol and he just chucked it up (I don't blame him doesnt taste nice) so I have set my alarm for 4 hours to check on him... Poor little man his other two teeth didn't do this to him"

"laying in bed with my little man he woke up with a temparature not as bad as last night but still too high for child care. Poor little man I feel sorry for him. This tooth is really taking its toll"




We get it you have a baby, and he is teething. NO ONE GIVES A SHIT.

Have a few women like that on mine - painful
 
Check out these 4 facebook statuses in the space of 24 hours.

"Running errands with a baby....tiring. Running errands with a baby while its pissing down... exhausting"
"Lucas has a temperature of 38.6 today took him to teh doctors just to be safe and he said it was probably from teething we got home and sure enough a third tooth has broken through"

"Lucas has a temperature again its up to 38.8 tried to give him Panadol and he just chucked it up (I don't blame him doesnt taste nice) so I have set my alarm for 4 hours to check on him... Poor little man his other two teeth didn't do this to him"

"laying in bed with my little man he woke up with a temparature not as bad as last night but still too high for child care. Poor little man I feel sorry for him. This tooth is really taking its toll"




We get it you have a baby, and he is teething. NO ONE GIVES A SHIT.

I have one very similar to this (as I'm sure everyone does). Finds the need to report on everything her kid gets up to and then tells the world via Facebook. Had to block her from posting on my feed.

Instead of status updates on Facebook, people like this need ****ing blogs to report on their kids.
 
A friend of mine put on Facebook something about Bert Newton being in hospital for his heart. I replied along the lines of "So Matt finally did it to him hey". He started on a tirade of how insensitive I was.

Whatever.

I swear people put such status up, begging a non-PC response, just so they can be seen to take some sort of 'moral high ground'.
 
Have you tried telling her?

Do you tell every single person what you are thinking?

Just because I was thinking "I dont give a shit" dosen't mean I have to tell her. Just the same as an attractive girl posted a picture and I thought "wow nice ****" doesn't mean I have to tell her that.

Gee you would spend half your time on facebook telling people I dont give a shit about your post.
 
Check out these 4 facebook statuses in the space of 24 hours.

"Running errands with a baby....tiring. Running errands with a baby while its pissing down... exhausting"
"Lucas has a temperature of 38.6 today took him to teh doctors just to be safe and he said it was probably from teething we got home and sure enough a third tooth has broken through"

"Lucas has a temperature again its up to 38.8 tried to give him Panadol and he just chucked it up (I don't blame him doesnt taste nice) so I have set my alarm for 4 hours to check on him... Poor little man his other two teeth didn't do this to him"

"laying in bed with my little man he woke up with a temparature not as bad as last night but still too high for child care. Poor little man I feel sorry for him. This tooth is really taking its toll"




We get it you have a baby, and he is teething. NO ONE GIVES A SHIT.
hahahaha that is so bad it's hilarious.

I have a friend who does alot of updates about her new born son but she's witty and qualifies it with something like "proud mamma moment 354......"
 
I don't know if I'm being rude or insensitive for posting this but..

"Its been exactly 1 year today that my life changed dramatically, that the only thing that i wish wouldnt happen, happened. Its been a war with my family ever since. and to have the person that did nothing wrong to cause this bullshit, to heear them say that they dont want to be here, its hard to hear and its hard to think of something on the spot to say to them. As a kid its not hard, but when you have these smal little dramas at home that is all one persons fault is bullshit. i havnt ever been the same kid i was. i dont usually get in as much trouble as i do now, i wouldnt have done or tried most of these things today. I would have been different, i would have been happier, alot happier...'

I mean.. do we care about your personal problems? Do you really need to tell us all?
I can't even decipher what that is saying? It's very confusing.
 
Check out these 4 facebook statuses in the space of 24 hours.

"Running errands with a baby....tiring. Running errands with a baby while its pissing down... exhausting"
"Lucas has a temperature of 38.6 today took him to teh doctors just to be safe and he said it was probably from teething we got home and sure enough a third tooth has broken through"

"Lucas has a temperature again its up to 38.8 tried to give him Panadol and he just chucked it up (I don't blame him doesnt taste nice) so I have set my alarm for 4 hours to check on him... Poor little man his other two teeth didn't do this to him"

"laying in bed with my little man he woke up with a temparature not as bad as last night but still too high for child care. Poor little man I feel sorry for him. This tooth is really taking its toll"




We get it you have a baby, and he is teething. NO ONE GIVES A SHIT.
your mate
 

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The worst ones I have are my extended family members - such bogans :( Well there are worse facebookers, but I can't really hide/delete my family members at the risk of a potentially awkward situation. Already happened once when I had hidden one of my cousins :p
Can people tell if you've hidden them? I've hidden half my friends on fb, even the ones i like. I really hope they can't tell.
 
Can people tell if you've hidden them? I've hidden half my friends on fb, even the ones i like. I really hope they can't tell.

No they can't, the only way people found out was because the cousin I had hidden had been posting a lot of rubbish about my granddad who had recently passed away and when the rest of the family was talking to me about it, I had no idea what they were saying despite obviously having checked my Facebook during that time. Meh, wasn't a huge deal, I just try to avoid awkward family situations in general.
 
"At the cinemas and I really need to go to the bathroom but I don't want to miss the movie, it's really good!"

Decoded: "I am an idiot who doesn't realise that by posting this on Facebook, I am actually missing the movie anyway. I am also a jerk who uses their phone at the movies".

The initial post has 10+ likes, if I knew her better I would have called her out on it.
If you saw it soon enough after it was posted, you could have just called her, said "You do realise you're getting nasty looks from everyone in the cinema for having your phone on?" and hung up.
Then you could have waited (maybe ten seconds) for her to complain about people calling her when they knew she was in a cinema.
 

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"At the cinemas and I really need to go to the bathroom but I don't want to miss the movie, it's really good!"

Decoded: "I am an idiot who doesn't realise that by posting this on Facebook, I am actually missing the movie anyway. I am also a jerk who uses their phone at the movies".

The initial post has 10+ likes, if I knew her better I would have called her out on it.

Surely the best response to this would be someone who’d seen the film quickly replying with the ending or plot twist... “don’t worry, so-and-so winds up getting killed... there you go, you can go to the toilet now. Enjoy!”
 

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FB statuses decoded.

🥰 Love BigFooty? Join now for free.

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