FB statuses decoded.

[Colin D'Cops]

 

[checkraiseulite]

That would be sweet, but to be honest I am not 'friends' with this group of people. I have just met them on holiday and had some nights on the drink with them, I don't care enough to make it my business, if it were happening to a mate of mine I would have stepped in long before this.

then if she's attractive like you say why didn't you **** her when you had the chance?

 

[Super Hans]

I really struggle to understand why girls upload photos of them an their mates on the toilet?! At least 10 of them come up after every Saturday night. Don't know if they think it impresses blokes or something?

 

[Jimmy1992]

One girl on my facebook updates her status at all hours, and posts the most ridiculous crap. (Not blocked for the lol's.) E.g.
"Don't try to accuse me of something I never did, just because you can't remember blabbing it yourself. **** off all of you."
"Females make me so angry like **** sake **** off if you're going to cause s*** and bring me and my friends down!"
"Have no expectations and you won't get hurt"

Translated: I am a passive aggressive cow, and apparently I hate everyone. Also, I can't spell. And, everyone is out, just to bring me down.

 

[Sam Mitchell 5]

Had this one bloke from High School, constantly updated his status and checked in to everywhere he went. Actually enjoyed most of his status' because aside from the ones where he expressed his undying love for his missus, turned fiance, turned wife in the space of 12 months, he would post a lot of idiot statements/comments about all kinds of sport that a 4th grader could argue about.

One of these status' I believe was something to do with Kyle Reimers being the complete footballer - some nonsense about that.

It got pretty bad when he started uploading a lot of photos of his wife or whatever she was. It then progressed to the point where he would change his hairstyle every month or so and upload an album with about 20 photos of his new 'awesome' hairstyle. That's where I drew the line, deleted very promptly soon after.

 

[Catfish Alley]

Multi-coloured mini dress with bra strap showing, posters of boy bands, shaggy blanket and zebra striped sheets. Haha, is this from the 80s?

 

[Poseidon]

Saw this status earlier:

"So, the muppets we call w.a. Police force are now setting up plastic speedhumps at booze buses to check lowered cars, really? Serious, do your job properly you ****wits, there would be less assaults, break ins and all the rest if you dogs actually your job properly and worry about real crime, and then you wonder why you get king hit... Pack of arseholes dodge the job worse than politicians"

Translation: I am an A-grade f-wit.

 

[Cruyff14]

Saw this status earlier:

"So, the muppets we call w.a. Police force are now setting up plastic speedhumps at booze buses to check lowered cars, really? Serious, do your job properly you ****wits, there would be less assaults, break ins and all the rest if you dogs actually your job properly and worry about real crime, and then you wonder why you get king hit... Pack of arseholes dodge the job worse than politicians"

Translation: I am an A-grade f-wit.

Kind of has a point, a lowered car should not be a priority compared to assaults etc, he has gone about it in the wrong way though.

 

[Poseidon]

Kind of has a point, a lowered car should not be a priority compared to assaults etc, he has gone about it in the wrong way though.

I really hate this logic and I see it from the same group of 4-5 guys every week. Just because people are getting done for having lowered cars doesn't mean the WA Police have made it a priority over assaults and murder. Oh I got pulled over for doing 7km over the speed limit?? SHOULDN'T YOU BE CATCHING THE CLAREMONT SERIAL KILLER? This doesn't make sense to me. Police resources are spread out all over the joint. They haven't put every Cop in the state on that one booze bus that caught you for drink driving.

Anyway those 4-5 guys on my FB. They drive their heavily and illegally modified cars everywhere, speeding, drifting, burnouts and then at least once a week one of them will post a photo of their car with a yellow sticker or a picture of their speeding fine with the caption 'f-ing pigs!' These guys are lazy anarchists. They don't actually give a shit what the Police do as long as they leave THEM alone.

 

[Cruyff14]

They are sort of people I have no sympathy for if they lose their license/hit a power pole/car gets impounded/die.

 

[Poetic Justice]

I get surprised by this too.

I mean, I'm work in the sales department at my work, and mechanics work in the service department. Just as I'm sure when blokes join the force, some join traffic management/highway patrol, some are street cops, some work on civil call outs etc.. so, can the highway patrollers be blamed for doing their job?

 

[Igloo]

It's bad enough when people put hashtags on their Facebook status, but this has come up on my newsfeed (in relation to him going to the gym).
#fitness #fit #fitspiration #fitterhealthierstronger

 

[revival_mode]

havent had facebook for about a year now, was wondering whether i should make a new one so i can keep in contact easier with some people again. reading this thread threw that idea out the window lol

 

[grimface_87]

Kind of has a point, a lowered car should not be a priority compared to assaults etc, he has gone about it in the wrong way though.

It's like getting angry at the check out chick for there being not enough staff serving you in the deli. They can't do anything, they don't make those sorts of decisions

 

[Poetic Justice]

It's bad enough when people put hashtags on their Facebook status, but this has come up on my newsfeed (in relation to him going to the gym).
#fitness #fit #fitspiration #fitterhealthierstronger

is it coming via instagram though?

 

[Igloo]

is it coming via instagram though?

Nope. This was just a status about his gym time.

 

[Illinois Nazi]

I'd have thought that having stopped people for a booze bus anyway that would be an excellent and efficient time to also do quick checks for other things. Not like a full car inspection, but going over a bump to check for lowered suspension isn't exactly going to take a lot longer.

 

[Illinois Nazi]

Nope. This was just a status about his gym time.

Did it include a photo of his guns?

 

[Igloo]

Did it include a photo of his guns?

No, but that might come soon. The status was saying he was going to the gym. The guns need a workout before going on show

 

[Poetic Justice]

Yeah well unless there is somehow a use for the hashtags I don't get it.

I often think its weird seeing hashtags on facebook, but usually coming from instagram (which I also do myself.)

 

[Coxy_]

Got this annoying, ignorant prick who is always bagging Americans. He wrote several posts about the whole gun massacre issue and since then he has been taking pot shots often. He just writes a lot of dumb, ignorant shit. Here is something he wrote recently: "To all those American people who spent thousands of dollars on end of the world products.. You are just as ridiculous and stupid as your gun laws.."
Yeah, because a couple of Americans were the only people in the world to concerned with that December 21st thing. Often he will end a status with "only in America" when he is trying to make a point.

I hate ****ers who get on Facebook and sprout shit about changing guns laws or writing about something controversial that is in the news. They're only trying to rack up likes (which they unfortunately get) and only a small bunch of us realise how stupid these FB users are. They've got NFI what they're on about

 

[Sam Mitchell 5]

It's like getting angry at the check out chick for there being not enough staff serving you in the deli. They can't do anything, they don't make those sorts of decisions

At the supermarket I work part time at - I usually cop it from customers because there's "not enough staff on", I've even copped it by customers while I'm standing in liquor not serving anyone - our liquor and the rest of the store aren't connected from inside but rather you have to come out of the supermarket and then enter the liquor part after your purchases have been made.

I can handle it cos I've been there for a while but I feel bad for the 15 year old newbies who get torn to bits by old grumpy ****wits who think they're higher than society.

 

[Super Hans]

Saw this status earlier:

"So, the muppets we call w.a. Police force are now setting up plastic speedhumps at booze buses to check lowered cars, really? Serious, do your job properly you ****wits, there would be less assaults, break ins and all the rest if you dogs actually your job properly and worry about real crime, and then you wonder why you get king hit... Pack of arseholes dodge the job worse than politicians"

Translation: I am an A-grade f-wit.

On the topic of police there are the people who will write 'just got me fine for (insert crime here), ****ing pigs'.

Cause it's their fault that you did something wrong.

 

[Schulzenfest]

I hate gooses who get on Facebook and sprout shit about changing guns laws or writing about something controversial that is in the news. They're only trying to rack up likes (which they unfortunately get) and only a small bunch of us realise how stupid these FB users are. They've got NFI what they're on about

http://www.theonion.com/articles/area-woman-decides-not-to-post-facebook-status-tha,30876/

 

[raven echo]

It's bad enough when people put hashtags on their Facebook status, but this has come up on my newsfeed (in relation to him going to the gym).
#fitness #fit #fitspiration #fitterhealthierstronger