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FB statuses decoded.

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moses said:
Vomit - how old is this person?
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34 and she's a really nice girl. These banners or memes make good people look stupid.

Bunk Moreland said:
Please flipping tell me you liked that.
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haha. Her actual update was "nobody likes me everybody hates me i think i'm going to eat some worms.

No i didn't like it but did laugh.
 
Poseidon said:
Do you mean ones when people post complaints to the FB page of some sort of retail store which then circulates Facebook?
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Yes these, I hate them.

They're all the same and then all these people think they can make a difference. They all involve some sob story and half the time I find myself thinking that the customer is definitely not always right.
 
Time to get rid of 2 Facebook friends
FF94CF7C-1CF0-421E-9234-BF232ED05AF9-17069-00001322F104C159.jpg
 
This is a status from real estate douche. Does it all the time.

Him: "worst news ever!!!! Blah :("

others: aw what's up?? Eveything alright?

Him: Angry with myself

others: oh why? What happened? Don't stress!

Him: gonna go for a run and work out. Need to punish myself :(

others: what's wrong?

Never responds.

What is this ****ing world coming to.
 
Lol, drake, that made me laugh. Seen the same sorta thing many times. Refuse to give those sort of people the attention they're so obviously seeking. Sadly, there's many others who are willing to.
 

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One of the worst offenders from my facebook friends is a bloke in his early 40s. I may start posting some of his statuses on a semi-regular basis. The following is just a taste and it's imoprtant to note that the bloke is a travel agent on no more than $45-50k p/a:

Why is it when people meet me for the first time (while wearing a suit) they automatically assume my profession to be either..
A Doctor
A Lawyer
An undercover Cop\Inspector
A top banking Executive/CEO (must be the greys)
or, once they know my industry.. A Pilot..???
Hmmm weird! :)
 
Barry Zuckercorn said:
One of the worst offenders from my facebook friends is a bloke in his early 40s. I may start posting some of his statuses on a semi-regular basis. The following is just a taste and it's imoprtant to note that the bloke is a travel agent on no more than $45-50k p/a:

Why is it when people meet me for the first time (while wearing a suit) they automatically assume my profession to be either..
A Doctor
A Lawyer
An undercover Cop\Inspector
A top banking Executive/CEO (must be the greys)
or, once they know my industry.. A Pilot..???
Hmmm weird! :)
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Does he also dabble part time in Real Estate? :D
 
Sam Mitchell 5 said:
Thankfully I haven't had anyone on my Facebook make a status like "Like if you hate cancer" or something similar.
I've had heaps of those trending pictures circulate my Facebook too as well, usually the same offenders too. Unfortunately if I deleted said people they would definitely notice as they're in the group of friends at uni I hang out with :p
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Those pics give me the sh!ts too. But think you can stop it without deleting them (had same issue someone who would know I had deleted them, and it would have caused issues). If you click the little down arrow next to the pic and "hide" it, then where the pic was it gives you a link to "Change what updates you get from X". You can then uncheck photos.

Guess only issue will be if they upload an actual pic and you miss it, but better then seeing all those "true friends are forever" type drivel pictures.
 
Haven't read the whole thread so there might be something similar, but the most annoying thing on Facebook by FAR are couples who try to prove to everyone how in love they are, and how awesome their relationship is.

A guy in my group of mates was like this with his girlfriend. Constant check ins. Constant pictures uploaded of gifts they had received from the other with captions like "omg i hav da bst gf/bf eva!!!". Constant wall posts to each other organising when to see each other. Little did they know no one was jealous of their relationship, purely because he is a pale ranga with terrible skin (my girlfriend had referred to him as 'repulsive') and she was a 150cm, 80kg primadonna with a pig nose - they had equally terrible personalities to boot.

Eventually me and my best mate were tired of it. After she wall posted another mundane thing to him, we commented "04xxxxxxx is his number. Message him this shit next time, nobody gives a ****". She ended up sending us an essay saying how hurtful it was and how sensitive she is.

A week later they checked in together at his house. 20 minutes late she posted on his wall. When they were together. In the same house.

I blocked and deleted them both. It's awkward when we see each other at the occasional 21st, but having them out of my Facebook universe is just.... beautiful.
 
LBJ6 said:
Haven't read the whole thread so there might be something similar, but the most annoying thing on Facebook by FAR are couples who try to prove to everyone how in love they are, and how awesome their relationship is.

A guy in my group of mates was like this with his girlfriend. Constant check ins. Constant pictures uploaded of gifts they had received from the other with captions like "omg i hav da bst gf/bf eva!!!". Constant wall posts to each other organising when to see each other. Little did they know no one was jealous of their relationship, purely because he is a pale ranga with terrible skin (my girlfriend had referred to him as 'repulsive') and she was a 150cm, 80kg primadonna with a pig nose - they had equally terrible personalities to boot.

Eventually me and my best mate were tired of it. After she wall posted another mundane thing to him, we commented "04xxxxxxx is his number. Message him this shit next time, nobody gives a ****". She ended up sending us an essay saying how hurtful it was and how sensitive she is.

A week later they checked in together at his house. 20 minutes late she posted on his wall. When they were together. In the same house.

I blocked and deleted them both. It's awkward when we see each other at the occasional 21st, but having them out of my Facebook universe is just.... beautiful.
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Had a couple couples like that on mine... and others shat me too... It got to the point where if I blocked everyone that annoyed me frequently, Id be left with the people I call and message anyway...
 
Friend of a friend (23yo female) who's profile I can see has the following photo albums:

**<3JanuuarryXX:)
<3 *..Febbruarry!!:)
*!mMMarcch..!!
:D..APriiil*xx

There is one for every month, but this is making my head hurt.

So many possible decodings, I'm secretly 13?
 

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LBJ6 said:
Haven't read the whole thread so there might be something similar, but the most annoying thing on Facebook by FAR are couples who try to prove to everyone how in love they are, and how awesome their relationship is.

A guy in my group of mates was like this with his girlfriend. Constant check ins. Constant pictures uploaded of gifts they had received from the other with captions like "omg i hav da bst gf/bf eva!!!". Constant wall posts to each other organising when to see each other. Little did they know no one was jealous of their relationship, purely because he is a pale ranga with terrible skin (my girlfriend had referred to him as 'repulsive') and she was a 150cm, 80kg primadonna with a pig nose - they had equally terrible personalities to boot.

Eventually me and my best mate were tired of it. After she wall posted another mundane thing to him, we commented "04xxxxxxx is his number. Message him this shit next time, nobody gives a ****". She ended up sending us an essay saying how hurtful it was and how sensitive she is.

A week later they checked in together at his house. 20 minutes late she posted on his wall. When they were together. In the same house.

I blocked and deleted them both. It's awkward when we see each other at the occasional 21st, but having them out of my Facebook universe is just.... beautiful.
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My take on this, and a little theory I have, is that couples who partake in this sort of mind-numbing drivel on facebook are not as happy in their relationship as others may be. The constant need to show everyone how in love they are, in my opinion is compensating for something.
 
Barry Zuckercorn said:
One of the worst offenders from my facebook friends is a bloke in his early 40s. I may start posting some of his statuses on a semi-regular basis. The following is just a taste and it's imoprtant to note that the bloke is a travel agent on no more than $45-50k p/a:

Why is it when people meet me for the first time (while wearing a suit) they automatically assume my profession to be either..
A Doctor
A Lawyer
An undercover Cop\Inspector
A top banking Executive/CEO (must be the greys)
or, once they know my industry.. A Pilot..???
Hmmm weird! :)
Click to expand...

Strange. The first time someone sees me in a suit they seem to think my profession is "defendant".
Especially that guy in the funny wig with a hammer in his hand.
 
Here's an example of one of those posts. This one is to Cadbury

"I recently bought a big bag of Buttons, & when I went home and opened the bag, the scene could be described as something of horror.

All I wanted was some edible chocolate, but that's clearly too much to ask for, I demand satisfaction. If suitable compensation is not sent to me, I know who you are. I know what I want. If you are looking for satisfaction, I can tell you I don't have any. But what I do have are a very particular set of cravings; cravings I have acquired over a very long career of eating. Cravings that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you compensate my chocolate buttons now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you......but not really.

I look forward to your reply.
Cathal Byron, still hungry."

12,192 Likes

What is the point of this? I see this post is more of a joke than some of the other complaint messages, but still, just **** off. These posts shit me and I can't hide them because whenever one of my stupid friends likes one it pops up in my news feed.
 

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