FB statuses decoded.

[grimface_87]

That doesn't compete with this, to go with a photo of this girls dead fish still in it's bowl.

#r.i.p#nigal#bestfriend#missyoualready#loveyou#photogenic!!!

Wow, 'photogenic'?! It's a dead fish

I can just imagine the comments on that post

 

[Igloo]

Wow, 'photogenic'?! It's a dead fish

I can just imagine the comments on that post

If you imagine comments like "you ok babe?" and the like, you would be correct.

 

[Cruyff14]

Troll her.

 

[pekay-norwest]

Here's an example of one of those posts. This one is to Cadbury

"I recently bought a big bag of Buttons, & when I went home and opened the bag, the scene could be described as something of horror.

All I wanted was some edible chocolate, but that's clearly too much to ask for, I demand satisfaction. If suitable compensation is not sent to me, I know who you are. I know what I want. If you are looking for satisfaction, I can tell you I don't have any. But what I do have are a very particular set of cravings; cravings I have acquired over a very long career of eating. Cravings that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you compensate my chocolate buttons now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you......but not really.

I look forward to your reply.
Cathal Byron, still hungry."

12,192 Likes

What is the point of this? I see this post is more of a joke than some of the other complaint messages, but still, just **** off. These posts shit me and I can't hide them because whenever one of my stupid friends likes one it pops up in my news feed.

So, Cathal Byron (Sounds like an airline) is clearly hefty in the weight stakes, and is taking the piss by replacing 'cravings' with 'skills' and 'choc buttons' with 'daughter', a reference to the tidy monologue sprouted by Liam Neeson in his recent documentary on Euro travel, Taken.

She's still a dead shit for trying to make people laugh. 12,192 people should be murdered.

 

[nicky]

I think just about every female I have on Facebook has written the status "everything happens for a reason" at some point. Plenty of guys too.

Lazy way to try and be deep.

I know that everything happens for a reason but you really offended me then. I will try and find the potential for growth in this interaction.

 

[moses]

This just appeared on my feed - Picture of a sad looking teddy bear with this written bellow

"When I give you my time I'm giving you a portion of my life I will never get back. So please don't make me regret it"

translation = psycho bitch

 

[BotsMaster]

Just had this:
"Sometimes people get blinded by the good they thought they could see in a person..
What the **** did I get myself into!"

 

[Cruyff14]

Never been so upset and so over something in my whole life. Its fukn sad really! Especially wen i use to love it..

Please, ask me what is wrong, I am dying to tell someone to give me attention.

 

[raven echo]

Someone I have on Facebook used the hashtag "#loveuse" on their instagram photo today. It's bad enough when people say yous/youse, but use? Man.

It's usually bogans that do it.

I have a whole family I know who use the word "use" for a plural of "you" on Facebook. All five of them. Needless to say I've blocked them all from showing up on my feed.

 

[nicky]

"How ironic that Cows and other animals are Vegetarian and are slaughtered , eaten for their meat, but I guess will even be more ironic when say after we stop eating meat for some reason or run out of Cows or animals and turn to Cannibalism, unfortunately Vegetarians will be next on the menu."

lol @ "run out of cows or animals" - so sweet, so naive, so cute - COMING FROM A 40 YEAR OLD...

i have some intense animal activist friends on fb who are forever putting up graphic pics of animal cruelty. It's shit because most people love animals and don't need to see that to be reminded to be nice to them.

 

[RoosterLad]

It's the most obvious quote ever.

It's also one of the most incorrect quotes. A cop-out usually used by God lovers.

As for hashtags, plenty of people use hashtags on forums now as well. I just do not understand it.

 

[Illinois Nazi]

As for hashtags, plenty of people use hashtags on forums now as well. I just do not understand it.

#true

 

[Howard Littlejohn]

I think just about every female I have on Facebook has written the status "everything happens for a reason" at some point. Plenty of guys too.

Lazy way to try and be deep.

True. Don't let it get you down though. Just remember, everything happens for a reason.

That reason is that people are idiots, idiotic people even moreso than others.

 

[nicky]

That reason is that people are idiots, idiotic people even moreso than others.

True but don't let that get you down, just remember everything happens for a reason, yeah?

 

[wce4premiership]

I think I get about 2 or 3 posts a night asking for extra people to play netball. Doesn't bother me as such but it's weird that it's only this sport.

 

[Poseidon]

I think I get about 2 or 3 posts a night asking for extra people to play netball. Doesn't bother me as such but it's weird that it's only this sport.

Netball has to be the shittest sport ever invented.

BRB can't run with the ball
BRB have to get rid of the ball after 3 seconds
BRB confined to 'zones' on the court
BRB illegal to play defense
BRB BRB

I wish this sport would just **** off. GIrls should learn to play basketball or stick to girl's sports such as hot oil wrestling, foxy boxing and such and such (yes I reference SImpsons too much)

 

[wce4premiership]

Not a sport I'd play, but hey if it means more girls get some cardio I'm all for it.

 

[WCErevival]

I think I get about 2 or 3 posts a night asking for extra people to play netball. Doesn't bother me as such but it's weird that it's only this sport.

I used to get volleyball too but seems to have died out or those people deleted me.

 

[Cruyff14]

Netball has to be the shittest sport ever invented.

BRB can't run with the ball
BRB have to get rid of the ball after 3 seconds
BRB confined to 'zones' on the court
BRB illegal to play defense
BRB BRB

I wish this sport would just **** off. GIrls should learn to play basketball or stick to girl's sports such as hot oil wrestling, foxy boxing and such and such (yes I reference SImpsons too much)

May as well call it mothers day club.

 

[wce4premiership]

I used to get volleyball too but seems to have died out or those people deleted me.

I have no idea, but are the sports seasonal? Might explain it.

 

[BotsMaster]

Netball has to be the shittest sport ever invented.

Urgh it is shit, I have been asked to play mixed Netball before and I just tell them it is a poor mans basketball.

 

[Cruyff14]

Urgh it is shit, I have been asked to play mixed Netball before and I just tell them it is a poor mans basketball.

Really? I would just laugh at them.

 

[Illinois Nazi]

True but don't let that get you down, just remember everything happens for a reason, yeah?

Stay strong babygirl, inbox me if u need 2 talk ok

 

[BotsMaster]

Really? I would just laugh at them.

What's more funny about these people that ask is that they're dead serious.

 

[JuddyBuddy]

Stay strong babygirl, inbox me if u need 2 talk ok

"Like for an inbox"

I see a lot of the younguns doing this sort of thing.