FB statuses decoded.

[JuddyBuddy]

Slightly off topic, but one thing that is starting to shit me is the prevalence of tagging people in comments now. Say you're subscribed to Celebrity A's news feed and they post something interesting, you think oh yeah, might check out the comments and see what other people think...so you click the comments link and there's bugger all discussion just peoples names one after the other.

 

[Howard Littlejohn]

Last week for ANZAC day. A guy who I have mentioned on here before (guy with terrible spelling and an Allo Allo obsession) writes this status:

"This we forget"

Did he mean facebook? Forgetting that is a good idea.

 

[Marklar_33]

Slightly off topic, but one thing that is starting to shit me is the prevalence of tagging people in comments now. Say you're subscribed to Celebrity A's news feed and they post something interesting, you think oh yeah, might check out the comments and see what other people think...so you click the comments link and there's bugger all discussion just peoples names one after the other.

I guess it doesn't bother me because I don't care what random people think. Also makes it easier to show people who will like it

 

[The_Reaper]

Latvian boy and girl are walk in forest. Girl ask boy, "Would you give me potato?" Boy is say NO. Girl cry and is run but capture by secret police bear trap. Boy go to dead girl. He is say, "I only say I no give you potato because there are no potato." Boy is happy for girl, for her struggle isover. Then boy remember there are no potato. He is sad again. All are sad. Be of liking this if cry everytime.

 

[JuddyBuddy]

My head hurts.

 

[Poseidon]

Latvian boy and girl are walk in forest. Girl ask boy, "Would you give me potato?" Boy is say NO. Girl cry and is run but capture by secret police bear trap. Boy go to dead girl. He is say, "I only say I no give you potato because there are no potato." Boy is happy for girl, for her struggle isover. Then boy remember there are no potato. He is sad again. All are sad. Be of liking this if cry everytime.

Hahah anyone actually used this as their status?

 

[The_Reaper]

Hahah anyone actually used this as their status?

I have in the past.

 

[Poseidon]

I have in the past.

How'd it go down?

 

[The_Reaper]

How'd it go down?

Many people cried everytime

 

[DrVanNostrand]

Latvian boy and girl are walk in forest. Girl ask boy, "Would you give me potato?" Boy is say NO. Girl cry and is run but capture by secret police bear trap. Boy go to dead girl. He is say, "I only say I no give you potato because there are no potato." Boy is happy for girl, for her struggle isover. Then boy remember there are no potato. He is sad again. All are sad. Be of liking this if cry everytime.

This sounds like something the guy in my avatar would say

 

[Jimmy1992]

Posted this morning; "morning glory had a good dream i guess lol"
No grammar, nothing. And, why on earth does anyone need to know that? Da ****?

 

[The Passenger]

My resilience and resourcefulness never ceases to amaze me...

she's normally pretty cool this chick. serious facebook problem though.

 

[Drakescoffeecake]

Some bogan **** uploaded photos of a live mouse and then photos of her putting it in her deadbeat boyfriends snake enclosure, followed my more photos of the snake killing and eating it

 

[Marklar_33]

My cat just caught a mouse. Didn't post about it on Facebook

Did it really happen?

 

[TubbsFarquhar]

My cat just caught a mouse. Didn't post about it on Facebook

Did it really happen?

If you don't put it on Facebook, it didn't happen.

 

[Marklar_33]

It seemed so real...

 

[Howard Littlejohn]

If you don't put it on Facebook, it didn't happen.

It could have. Or "could of" to use the modern parlance.
As it wasn't on Facebook, it may have happened if tweeted about from the cat's account or uploaded to Youtube. After all, there can never be enough cat videos in the world.

 

[Drakescoffeecake]

"I'm so upset "

I'm not going to tell you why because I only made this status for attention

Love these. Also cringe at the people that actually reply to the status.

Guy on my Facebook posts a photo of him on a hospital bed saying "hospital visits are never fun" ... 8 or so responses saying WHAT HAPPENED? are you ok?!??????????!!! or OMG!!

Of course the attention seeker in question doesn't reply at all. What is he hoping to get out of this? To get people to think he's dead?

 

[triplejdude]

I've got a shit Facebook friend to dob in. She's constantly uploading photos of herself before a night out doing 'duckface' in the mirror with her friends and posts a crazy amount of vague statuses that all her friends reply to with things like 'you ok honey?' and 'inbox me baby xxxx'. Shits me so badly.

Here are some examples:

"Nearly got sucked bak in... But then true colours showed!!! And then got caught out again. More lies. Thank ****! So glad dodged that nightmare. "

"Found a new strength in myself that I didn't no i had.. Finally time to put it all behind me and move on with my life! With ppl who love and care about me! To the future "

"Don't waste time on ppl who clearly arnt worthy of it! "

"Is happiness too much to ask for?"

"Time to put the past behind me"

She's a nice enough girl, but god her Facey posts are awful.

 

[Drakescoffeecake]

Ah the old inspirational status, usually done by feminists or sluts to show that she's a strong independent woman that don't need no man.

 

[Poseidon]

You know what shits me? When people like or share obviously fake text convo's that pop up on my feed.
example (from reddit)

 

[Poseidon]

Actually there's a whole subreddit /r/badfaketexts

Had to stop browsing it because it was getting hard to stifle my laughter in the library.

 

[NSWCROW]

Ah the old inspirational status, usually done by feminists or sluts to show that she's a strong independent woman that don't need no man.

Anyone we know ???..........

 

[nicky]

I've got a shit Facebook friend to dob in. She's constantly uploading photos of herself before a night out doing 'duckface' in the mirror with her friends and posts a crazy amount of vague statuses that all her friends reply to with things like 'you ok honey?' and 'inbox me baby xxxx'. Shits me so badly.

Here are some examples:

"Nearly got sucked bak in... But then true colours showed!!! And then got caught out again. More lies. Thank ****! So glad dodged that nightmare. "

"Found a new strength in myself that I didn't no i had.. Finally time to put it all behind me and move on with my life! With ppl who love and care about me! To the future "

"Don't waste time on ppl who clearly arnt worthy of it! "

"Is happiness too much to ask for?"

"Time to put the past behind me"

She's a nice enough girl, but god her Facey posts are awful.

There's 2 types of people in this world, those who post dramatic status updates on facebook and those who don't. I do not understand women in their 30s who do this. Doing it in your 20s is bad enough.

My brothers housemate posted a dramatic hissy fit about her housemates so of course i copy and pasted it and emailed it to my brother. He wanted to move out anyway but gave his notice the next day (obviously the info i gave him helped make his decision). Anyway she keeps dropping hints to him that she thinks i must have told him about her status update.

I mean, of course i did. It defies belief she even needs to question this.

 

[Drakescoffeecake]

23 year old male douchebag real estate agent

"wish me luck cute duck! Little bit nervous this morning! Haha!"

Makes my skin crawl. I can't think of anything more that pisses me off on fb when people like above post intentionally ambiguous open ended statuses in a disguised attempt for attention.