Society/Culture Feminism - 2017 Thread - Pt I

How many women would date a guy that earns significantly less than them? It seems that is a much greater rarity than the opposite happening.

I don't have a number but I did date a guy who earned a lot less than I did for seven years. It just wasn't an issue.
 
Nov 24, 2008
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When my wife and I first met she was earning near 6 figures, while I was at Uni and not working - living off $600 per fortnight, or whatever Austudy was. It really wasn't an issue at all at that stage, because we both knew and accepted that eventually I would start making decent money once I finished Uni and got a job. I've been out of Uni and working now for 4 years or so - she still earns more than me and it still isn't an issue. I've never really felt emasculated, though at times I did feel like a bit of a leech when I wasn't working and she was paying for most things. I think I only would have felt emasculated if she made me feel that way, but in that case I doubt I would have stayed with her anyway.

All that said, I can only think of one other case among my friendship group where the girl might (not sure) earn more than the guy. For every other couple the bloke would earn significantly more.
 
Did he ever feel emasculated? Was he expected to still pay for the majority of dinners?

They're genuine questions, what you said has intrigued me.

No, I don't think he did and he was very masculine even a bit knockabout. A pro fighter in his youth and about four years into our relationship was offered a Specialist Coach position at one of the major league clubs. I don't even remember us discussing his pay before or after and we never, ever had one argument about money. Some weeks he'd be flat broke but we had fairly simple taste anyway. If he had more work at some points I always knew because he'd say "come on, I'll take you out for dinner" for example. We were going to get married, I was good with it but then I saw him hit someone. Poor blokes face just collapsed and while I didn't hear what he'd said to cop it like that it seemed to come out of nowhere so that frightened me because my son was only still young. I'd noticed some tension between the two and I couldn't afford to expose my son to someone who could lose it like that and do so much damage with one punch and look like he'd hardly moved to do it. The relationship couldn't move forward, so I left not long after. But it wasn't about money.
 
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I don't have a number but I did date a guy who earned a lot less than I did for seven years. It just wasn't an issue.

a good friend of mine, his partner makes double his salary. Doesn't seem a bit deal to them.
 

Herne Hill Hammer

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Of course personal anecdotes are powerful, but I can't see that is the case in the majority of actual relationships.

You will find that families do what they need to do. I know at least three men that are or have been house husbands. Probably more if I think about it.

I think they're more talking about setting out on a journey with your partner not making decisions backed by maturity, shared experiences and needs made years into the relationship.

I doubt very few early dates of long term couples include conversations about the male half staying at home and being a house husband whilst the wife goes off to work sometime in the future.
 
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Most people which includes couples simply do what is pragmatic and what their budgets allow. Doubly so if kids are involved. The Kate Ellis thing is unfortunate in a sense but she has made a personal choice and good luck to her. Latham back in 04 said the same thing about the pressures of Politics on young families. Don't know how you change it thou. It is an intensive job. Maybe less waffling in parliament/less sitting weeks but at the same time how else is business done or Government held to account?

As to the women/men/money thing I know of cases women have made more than their partner but imo in say 90% of relationships the male earns more/or about equal. The Ellis thing is unique in that they are a high powered couple. Most people have mundane, unglamorous job so are doing what needs to be done.

It is an interesting thing to consider (and I won't go on a rant) but families/housing costs etc cost money. Somebody needs to make it, if there are young kids involved someone needs to stay home. So most couples specialise. And given in most cases men make more -don't give birth it makes sense they take the time out.

Also given it is woman rather than men who predominately choose I'm guessing income forms a part of choice. Maybe not. I don't know. But men don't really give women's income any consideration imo. (Unless she is in extreme debt, loose with $$$$ but that is more spending vs earning capacity).

Personally now at my age/career/etc if I had kids and my partner said I'll work, you stay home, I'd probably do it. Be a tough sell the other way I'd imagine.
 
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International Woman's Day was interesting. Some women around really got involved, while the men thought it was a load of crap, when will there be an International Men's Day?

Personally good on the women if you want a day go for it but I don't really care one way or another. Like Valentines Day.

There will never be a Men's Day as I don't think men really have that mindset or gravitate together the same way women do tbh. If you had a Men's Day tomorrow I and most men would just roll their eyes.
 
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International Woman's Day was interesting. Some women around really got involved, while the men thought it was a load of crap, when will there be an International Men's Day?

Personally good on the women if you want a day go for it but I don't really care one way or another. Like Valentines Day.

There will never be a Men's Day as I don't think men really have that mindset or gravitate together the same way women do tbh. If you had a Men's Day tomorrow I and most men would just roll their eyes.

Turns out there actually is a Men's day - November 19th from memory. I'd never heard of it until the past few days.
 

fleabitten

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A lot of the press that it gets is about how we shouldn't need one because apparently 364/365 days of the year are for us.

Or shite like this:
http://www.sbs.com.au/comedy/article/2016/03/07/things-we-could-celebrate-international-mens-day

I got to "Fostering a toxic culture of masculinity" and stopped. Won't be wasting my time on that.

Tom Elliott had an article in The Herald Sun today that touched on some of the areas that should be given attention and discussed on Men's day, such as the suicide rate, education levels, family court outcomes and life expectancy for men as compared to women; as well as the disproportionate amount of funding given to breast cancer research compared to prostate cancer research*. His article was still a little too us vs them for my liking, but it did at least highlight areas in which men are disadvantaged which tend to go largely ignored.

* I've always wondered at this, but a little while ago I read a good argument that somewhat justifies the discrepancy - breast cancer tends to kill women younger (often with small children) than prostate cancer kills men. I still think there is an imbalance, but I can see merit in that argument.
 
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Leeda

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the driving force is to 'beat' men about the head and demand financial rights that are equal.

can't say that has always worked but I guess seeing it is sometimes what men do to women to get other things like sex.

but maybe I am being terribly belligerent and yet I see no point in standing down in my intentions to demand equal rights and
equal pay for us all.

letting each half work out what is needed and yet making it equal is a start.

I don't recommend beating each other up but I do advocate maybe a bit of social, vocal, and monetary, and even vagina biplay with
each other to manufacture some kind of starting point.

Just having a revolution of my own to rattle a few cages and see if it works.
 
I don't mind the concepts (as far as I care about any so-called international day), but all the point scoring and nonsense that surrounds them is definitely embarrassing.
It doesn't really bother me either, but I like it when people rag on it because it's stupid.
 
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http://www.whimn.com.au/talk/news/e...e/news-story/ba6d1d5ad16b57c914757742aa6755f9

Cricket Australia is offering female cricketers vastly lower pay, travel and work conditions than those available to their male counterparts, forcing the professional sportswomen to fight for the same rights as male players.

A new collective players’ agreement is currently under negotiation, and while it is set to include women for the first time, discussions are all but stalled in the battle for gender equality.

The game’s governing body, Cricket Australia, and the Australian Cricketers Association, which represents 300 players – including 120 women - are currently at loggerheads in a last ditch attempt to draw up a new Memorandum of Understanding before a deadline of June 30.

While this is the first time female players’ conditions will be covered by the historically male-only MOU, a critical sticking point is the significant gap between what is on offer for the different sexes. This is also the first time females have been represented by the ACA, and the first time their rights have been championed as a collective – something that has been happening for male players for decades.

You have. I want. Repeat.
 
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Another feminist being accused of transphobia, for not equating trans women as women due to their male privilege meaning they had a different experience from birth. If it's about experience of privilege, then I suppose this also means that only black women can be women since white women experienced white privilege? Where does it end?



Feminist author Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie has found herself at the center of a controversy over gender identity after comments she made about transgender women during an interview, recently went viral.

Speaking earlier this week with the U.K.’s Channel 4, Adichie, who is promoting her new book Dear Ijeawele Or a Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions, said, “When people talk about, ‘Are trans women women?’ my feeling is trans women are trans women.”

Her argument appears to stem from her idea that because many trans women have been assigned and raised male from birth until whatever point they decided to transition, she believes the male privilege they may have received fundamentally sets their experiences apart from those of cisgender women.
 

Kynge of Begrem

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* I've always wondered at this, but a little while ago I read a good argument that somewhat justifies the discrepancy - breast cancer tends to kill women younger (often with small children) than prostate cancer kills men. I still think there is an imbalance, but I can see merit in that argument.
I seem to recall reading that most men with prostate cancer die from something else - will have to see if I can track it down.
 
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