I can report a win in Div 1.
Cavani must have read my last post because he played like a man who had a whole beehive shoved in his urethra.
Miccoli opened the scoring in the 16th minute with one of the better goals I've ever scored. Taking possession on the left wing at the corner of the penalty box, he cut in to the middle of the pitch, faking a cut inside towards goal, making a second defender look like a two dollar whore, before wandering up to the edge of the penalty box once more, splitting two defenders with a daisy cutter, smashing it past Bruno Alvez into the post and rebounding in. I made him do a backflip after, so he's awesome.
Cavani thought that was pretty cool so 3 minutes later, Guarin put in a lovely through ball, which Cavani ran onto, making a lowly Spanish defender his bitch by pushing him out of the way and scoring under Alvez. 2-0.
About that time a defensive clearance once again hit Ogbonna's gigantic tush and rebounded into the path of Soldado, who couldn't miss if he tried and duly scored past Stekelenburg. Considering getting Ogbonna an arse reduction, it's almost cost me games now.
I gave away a dubious penalty in the 45th minute, which is typical of EA, and up steps David Villa to take it. He's got some pretty nuts PEN stats, but Stekelenburg called timeout and did a line, ran back on and saved the shot with his foot, then, I assume, impregnated every woman in the stadium.
Went to halftime at 2-1 and pretty confident of pulling out the win.
11 minutes after the restart, Guarin just made it look easy - cutting between two defenders and hammering home the low shot. 3-1.
Cavani got really angry that someone else had the limelight and went Hulk mode, pushing two defenders out of the way, and cutting back to score an easy goal from a through ball via Guarin again. 4-1.
As if to put a lovely finishing touch on things, in the 77th minute Cavani scored his hat trick from a corner rebound, with a lovely little run and a simple finish. He seriously is an angry man.
Miccoli put the ribbon on top in the 90th, carving home a screamer from the edge of the box and celebrating like he was at a funeral, patting Cavani on the bum and wandering off.
The game really was over after the penalty was saved. His defenders visibly stopped trying.