Banter Fraser Gehrig - The Legend of the G-Train

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Kildonan

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Thread starter Moderator #29
October 1962 and the world is on the edge of nuclear war.

US spy planes have conclusive photos of Russian missile installations on Cuba, so close to continental USA. The US mobilises a blockade of Cuba, the Russians respond and so for two weeks the world watches and waits for the outcome of "The Cuban Missile Crisis"

Or so we all thought.

Only Pentagon insiders knew the real story.

On 16 October a US spy plane took a photo of G-Train basking on a beach in eastern Cuba. He was surrounded by all the most beautiful women of the country - all of them willing to give their lives for him.

US Intelligence analysts recognised the most dangerous weapon in the world and panicked as he was so close to the USA. The reason the crisis took so long to resolve was that G-Train didn't want to end his holiday in Cuba.

To this day all this is known as "The Cuban Missile Crisis".

The US govt considered that this name and the threat of worldwide nuclear war was much less scary to the US population than disclosing the real threat - that the G-Train would decide to visit the US - code named "The Australian Missile Crisis".
 

Hai_Newman

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#34
First hand witness reports please.

How many women were seen exhausted and disheveled, trying to depart in the morning with stupefying grins?
Funny thing is I never realised he lived there until this big dude in old school black moccasins and shorts made me look twice.
(I had been to Melbourne in the 80s)
Looked strange as that fashion never took off in Perth and it was late 90s anyway and pretty much out in Melbourne too, lolz.

Mate and I said Gday and got the old Gday mate back as I always wear a WCE hat.
My mate and myself cracked up, "thats Frazer Gehrig noooo way...hahaha!!! Cool!!!"
 

CursingFijian

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#35
Gtrain was my neighbour when he lived in Subiaco.
I win the interwebz.:moustache:
So, like Death, you survived a 'near Gtrain' experience? Did you get to see the bear in his hallway making like a carpet cause he was too scared to move? Did you notice there were no mirrors in his house? Because glass doesn't want to get between the Gtrain and Fraser Gehrig.
 
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Hai_Newman

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#36
So, like Death, you survived a 'near Gtrain' experience? Did you get to see the bear in his hallway making like a carpet cause he was too scared to move? Did you notice there were no mirrors in his house? Because glass doesn't want to get between the Gtrain and Fraser Gehrig.
Lolz..:D:thumbsu:
My hair is still blew back from 'THE EXPERIENCE'




Bob Cobb Keg on legs :think:
 

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sunny3193

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#44
G-Train’s Tough

He never wanted to fight but he had to get tough. So now he’s tough.

Audience: How tough?

Don't hassle me man, I have a black belt in Macrame. I'm tough!!!

When I get into a cab and the cab driver asks where I'm going I say, "None of your bloody business!!!
I wasn't breast fed as a baby, I went straight onto cappuccinos.
When I was a baby I pushed my own pram ... because I'm tough.
My rice bubbles are too scared to go Snap, Crackle & Pop, they hide in the pack and go, "Shhhhhhhh, here he comes!!!!"
I never have to brush my teeth, I just let the toothbrush tremble in my mouth.
I'm so tough I eat quiche in front of truckies.
When I eat Smarties, I eat the red ones first.
I'm so tough I use aftershave .... before.
I'm so tough I glue worms to the pavement so I can watch the sparrows getting hernias.
I'm so tough my answering machine doesn't answer to anyone except me!!
I'm so tough I drink cordial ... straight from the bottle.
I'm so tough that when I get a flat tyre I don't use a jack, I take off all of my clothes, lay underneath the car and read Playboy.
I'm so tough that when I go to the beach I kick sand in my own face.
I'm so tough my pooh pooh scares flies away.
I'm so tough I'm into Punk Yoga ... that's when you stand on somebody else's head.
I'm so tough Vitamins take me.
I'm so tough I voted Liberal and told people about it afterwards.

How many Social Workers does it take to change a light bulb? One, but the light bulb must want to change.
How many G-Trains does it take to change a light bulb? NONE ... because G-Trains aren't afraid of the dark!!!!!!!

How do you make a dog meow? You put it in the freezer for three days, take it out and run it through a bandsaw .... MMMMEEEEOOOOWWWW!!!!!
How do you make a kleenex tissue dance? You blow a little boogy into it.
So what does a pervert say to a 12 year old girl? Oooohhh, I wish you were five!!!
So why do negroes keep chickens in the back yard? So they can teach their children how to walk.
So why do they have XXXX beer in Queensland? Because they can't spell "BEER".

(Apologies to George Smilovic. That was his routine from the 80’s. A bit dated and insensitive now).
 

Kildonan

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Thread starter Moderator #48
Scientists in Russia have come up with a theory as to why this thread became unstickied earlier. Citing seismic data from various points around the world, the Russian geophysicists have calculated that a global geologic event occurred around 12.15am (local time) with an epicentre located somewhere in the bayside of Melbourne.

The seismic event was witnessed by several startled locals. Restaurant patron Brick Skithouse was having a late night meal with his partner when they noticed the arrival of G-Train. "He sat at the table directly beside ours." said Skithouse. "He ordered a cow, medium rare and began to drink from kegs provided by the bar staff. He was ripping the tops off them with his bare teeth, he then drained the contents of each keg and chucked the empties over his shoulder."

"The forklift arrived with his dinner," continued Skithouse "and that's when it happened... he had sat down to his meal, he reached out for the salt and pepper, well.." he hesitated before explaining further "the pepper shaker simply wasn't built to take the G-forces he applied and all of a sudden there was this cloud of pepper."

A solemn looking Skithouse continued "The build up was impressive, we all knew he was gonna sneeze...but nothing had prepared us for the blast. I lost my left arm and half my face, my girlfriend is still in critical care and well...you can see what he did to the buildings along the street here."

Another patron lucky to have been on the lee side of the sneeze - explained "now we know why they're called G-forces" he said.
 
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