- Jul 20, 2014
- 8,194
- 18,414
- AFL Club
- Fremantle
From the pen of Chris Scott Fitzgerald:
The Great Catsby
Your hero, let’s call him Tim Kelly for short, a young man from the heart of Fremantle, moves interstate in the summer of 2017 to learn more about this football business. He lands in a waterside but unfashionable area populated by cashed up bogans, a group who have made the grand final a few too many times too recently and are prone to garish displays of success, like Brownlow medals, premiership cups and the like. Tim finds himself living close to a mysterious bloke who throws extravagant parties nearly every Saturday night where “We are Geelong” is sung with gusto by the invariably victorious partygoers….
Ah, feck it. Taking my cue from Tonga Bob and his classic Edgar Allan Poe parody https://www.bigfooty.com/forum/threads/round-23-edgar-allan-bobs-the-magpie.1202487/, I was thinking of constructing this preview as a witty rewrite of the Great Gatsby. It was going to be great. Tim Kelly eventually realising that chasing his dream of premiership success is tainted by crass teammates like Patrick ‘Daisy’ Dangerfield and Tom ‘Tom’ Hawkins, returns humbled to his Fremantle roots, acknowledging that by joining the Dockers his dreams of success are over, yet content that at least he is now keeping it real.
And then I worked out
So on to the game:
Last time we met, who can forget?
Post game Ross Lyon told us he could have stopped them kicking 23 goals in a row, he just chose not to. Another Ross classic :
The key players:
Freo: Back in the day, we beat Geelong in a few big games because we had bigger and better rucks. We still have better rucks, it’s just we are playing them all in the same team, at the same time, against fast nimble skilful blokes and it isn’t working. Please don’t do it again Freo.
Geelong: If Mark Blicavs can stop staging for frees he will be $1000 richer this week. If Joel Selwood can stop staging for frees he will not be true to himself. They have a few other blokes that can play a bit. If we were a serious chance of making this game competitive I would give it some serious thought, but they are going to pummel us.
Prediction: Geelong by plenty.
So we beat on, boats against the current, or some such garbage
The Great Catsby
Your hero, let’s call him Tim Kelly for short, a young man from the heart of Fremantle, moves interstate in the summer of 2017 to learn more about this football business. He lands in a waterside but unfashionable area populated by cashed up bogans, a group who have made the grand final a few too many times too recently and are prone to garish displays of success, like Brownlow medals, premiership cups and the like. Tim finds himself living close to a mysterious bloke who throws extravagant parties nearly every Saturday night where “We are Geelong” is sung with gusto by the invariably victorious partygoers….
Ah, feck it. Taking my cue from Tonga Bob and his classic Edgar Allan Poe parody https://www.bigfooty.com/forum/threads/round-23-edgar-allan-bobs-the-magpie.1202487/, I was thinking of constructing this preview as a witty rewrite of the Great Gatsby. It was going to be great. Tim Kelly eventually realising that chasing his dream of premiership success is tainted by crass teammates like Patrick ‘Daisy’ Dangerfield and Tom ‘Tom’ Hawkins, returns humbled to his Fremantle roots, acknowledging that by joining the Dockers his dreams of success are over, yet content that at least he is now keeping it real.
And then I worked out
- I can’t really write
- Shane Kersten just walked out on our club, like their club, so the anti-Kersten Cup has more of a zing to it
- No one was seriously going to believe Tim Kelly was coming back to Freo
- The only reason I signed up to do this preview in the first place was cause I really hate Geelong, and I had predicted they would have fallen to around 15th on the ladder this season and we would be in the eight and ready to crap all over their pissant little club with its ugly captain and bellyacher coach….
So on to the game:
Last time we met, who can forget?
Post game Ross Lyon told us he could have stopped them kicking 23 goals in a row, he just chose not to. Another Ross classic :
The key players:
Freo: Back in the day, we beat Geelong in a few big games because we had bigger and better rucks. We still have better rucks, it’s just we are playing them all in the same team, at the same time, against fast nimble skilful blokes and it isn’t working. Please don’t do it again Freo.
Geelong: If Mark Blicavs can stop staging for frees he will be $1000 richer this week. If Joel Selwood can stop staging for frees he will not be true to himself. They have a few other blokes that can play a bit. If we were a serious chance of making this game competitive I would give it some serious thought, but they are going to pummel us.
Prediction: Geelong by plenty.
So we beat on, boats against the current, or some such garbage