Friends with the Ex

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Aug 27, 2014
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The last weirdo I was in a relationship with was on good terms with her exes. She didn't think it was strange to meet one (with his family) for brunch at a Seddon cafe with me. Big sloppy kiss, animated chat throughout, ok ummm yeah ok I'll just sit here and pretend I don't exist. Nice meal though.

She hasn't contacted me once in the three and a half years since I moved out.

Still not sure what that says about me.
Your own words probably tell you.
What is it about weirdo's the finds you attracted to them and then get in a relationship with them ?
 
Apr 27, 2008
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Chael Sonnen: Moral Champion
Reading the thread on the Lifestyle forum 'long term relationships that go sour' made me realise that one of the biggest nightmares a person can live through is being with someone for such a huge chunk of time like 10+ years, and then having that relationship end. Terrifying actually.
I'd consider it freedom tbh but I'm very comfortable on my own. Ironic as I have lot less me time than most people who are in a relationship but those people are also extremely fragile and can't be alone. Despite having a long term partner that they often are away from taking their own time for themselves or boys trips, etc.

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Nov 17, 2007
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Your own words probably tell you.
What is it about weirdo's the finds you attracted to them and then get in a relationship with them ?

Nine months out from a marriage breakup and desperate to find someone to prove that I wasn't the complete unlovable loser/failure that I was convinced I was.

Nothing like moving into an abusive relationship to reinforce negative feelings about yourself.
 

PT Bar None

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Mar 11, 2018
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Reading the thread on the Lifestyle forum 'long term relationships that go sour' made me realise that one of the biggest nightmares a person can live through is being with someone for such a huge chunk of time like 10+ years, and then having that relationship end. Terrifying actually.

I just went and read through bits of that thread.

Gee, it turns pretty nasty at the end
:(
 

ioppolo

This only ends one way.
Oct 3, 2010
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I've been with the same girl for seven years and we've never been in a better place relationship wise. Both sexually and emotionally at that. But we definitely both do well at alone/me time. If I say I wanna read/play games/go sit on the gazebo/go to the pub etc then all is well, none of this "what will I do" bullshit that I've seen before.

Communication is key. Almost all of my mates have communication issues with their partners.
 
I've been with the same girl for seven years and we've never been in a better place relationship wise. Both sexually and emotionally at that. But we definitely both do well at alone/me time. If I say I wanna read/play games/go sit on the gazebo/go to the pub etc then all is well, none of this "what will I do" bullshit that I've seen before.

Communication is key. Almost all of my mates have communication issues with their partners.

I saw my then bf once a week only at weekends, during our relationship most of the time.
Didnt bother me in the slightest. When we skipped weekends from time to time, that was a bit harder.


Honestly if I had a bf now, he could go nuts go on a boys friggin week away, I'd be just thinking about the peace and quiet I would enjoy for the week haha
 

ioppolo

This only ends one way.
Oct 3, 2010
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I saw my then bf once a week only at weekends, during our relationship most of the time.
Didnt bother me in the slightest. When we skipped weekends from time to time, that was a bit harder.


Honestly if I had a bf now, he could go nuts go on a boys friggin week away, I'd be just thinking about the peace and quiet I would enjoy for the week haha
I think that's quite a rare mindset for a chick in all honesty. Guys are fine but most women need to be around their man at some point in time I find
 
Nov 17, 2007
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Damn!
I'm Sorry

Not as sorry as I am.

:) Nah, you're alright. I don't mind talking about it now, painful though it was at the time.

Despite the desperation after our breakup (which is NOT a sexy look, in either sex) I hooked up with an absolutely wonderful lady, couldn't believe my luck and had a brilliant three months. She called it off because I was too much like her ex and she couldn't deal with it if the same problems due to depression came up again. (I did explain that I couldn't afford to have a secret flat in Carlton with a much younger man installed, but she was referring to the coping with mood swings, negativity etc.)

Obviously my fragile self esteem imploded and thats when the real desperation kicked in, found someone who was my intellectual equal, we hit it off, had a comfortable time, she went off on a cruise and I house-sat for six weeks, she came back and the mind games started. I wasn't in a good place psychologically and I accepted the humiliations and emotional abuse as being "deserved" or "all I was worth" - both very untrue, but implanted as solid concrete facts in my head. After fifteen months she just turned the tap off and froze me out, and I've been living on my own in a filthy one-room factory office next to the freeway since.

I've been doing what I can to re-establish higher levels of communication with my ex, having conclusively proven the grass was never greener no matter how shitful she'd been, though I'm slowly coming around to the idea that its doomed to failure and I'm setting myself up for more angst.
 
Apr 27, 2008
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Chael Sonnen: Moral Champion
If I know guys, it’s that if you give them too much freedom then one day they’ll likely complain that you didn’t want to spend time with them and have possibly seized those opportunities to cheat.


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