Funny s**t your kids have said

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Book character dress-up day at my daughters' school

Miss6yo went as Little Red Riding Hood
Miss9yo went as a goth-like character from one of her pre-teen fantasy books

They come home and I approach Miss6yo...

Me: Daddy, what big glasses you have.....All the better to see you with, my dear
Me: Daddy, what big arms you have....All the better to cuddle you with, my dear

Miss9yo yells from the other room: DADDY! WHAT A BIG TUMMY YOU HAVE!

Me: Thanks Miss9yo.....no one asked you!

:p
 

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Just letting ya all know this thread's gonna make a big comeback next year. My mate in the UK is joining BF- she has a two year old daughter atm and claims to "have a tonne of stories for this thread" when I explained what BF was, and mentioned this on GD.
Just to whet your whistles with this short but sweet anecdote...



The other day her daughter chucked a massive wobbly over the fact she wanted to walk the family dog.

They dont even have a dog.
:tearsofjoy: :tearsofjoy: :tearsofjoy: :tearsofjoy:
 
the_interloper said:
I copped "you're the worst daddy ever" from the 5 year old on the weekend. I explained to him that boys who have bad fathers are much more likely to be imprisoned in their life than those with good dads so it sucks to be him.
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Give him to my old man until he's eighteen. He'll return an emotional cripple with substance abuse problems but he'll be able to discuss Foucault and Plato over the dinner table.
 
Lord of the Pies said:
My Mrs went for a playdate with a few of the other kinder mums. In front of the whole group my wife asks our son if he ever plays with a particular kid, his response "no mum, he eats playdoh".
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:tearsofjoy:

If he eats chalk as well when he grows up hell run his own company and be quite successful
 
Paraphrase.

My Mum works at a school, and was assisting a bow with autism (8/9 y.o.). The boy started telling a tale about his dad, to which my Mum replied with a story about her own still living dad. The boy asked "is your Dad still alive?" To which my Mum replied "yes". The boy, without missing a beat, commented "you look way too old for your dad to be alive...I can't believe it!"
 
Not one of my kids, but on the Gold Coast one day a big fat man was waddling through a crowded shopping center. He would have been close to 200 kilograms, and every painful step he took looked like it brought him closer to a heart attack or stroke. A mother passes by with her young son and a baby, and the boy points at the fat man and yells out, 'HEY MUM, WHY IS THAT MAN SO FAT?"
 

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emuboy said:
Not one of my kids, but on the Gold Coast one day a big fat man was waddling through a crowded shopping center. He would have been close to 200 kilograms, and every painful step he took looked like it brought him closer to a heart attack or stroke. A mother passes by with her young son and a baby, and the boy points at the fat man and yells out, 'HEY MUM, WHY IS THAT MAN SO FAT?"
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Sounds like me when I was a kid. I'd do it in the elevator though.
My poor mother
 
MrsEddieBetts said:
Yeah my 3 year old said "you're not my best friend!" to me the other day because I wouldn't let him have a second ice cream. :brokenheart:
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Similarly, my 4yo niece asked why I don't live with her aunt anymore, I said I live in my own house. She replied with "Shes not your best friend anymore"
 
Today i made some scrambled eggs for lunch. These are the comments/directions from my beloved mother:

- you eat 3 eggs at once?!
- NO dont mix the eggs up in a glass use this /hands me a bowl thats practically a plate/ i swap it for a bowl thats actually a bowl.
- start mixing eggs up. "If you get any eggs on that tea towel in going to have to wash it!". I dont get any egg on the tea towel
- start cooking the eggs. "Oh thats the wooden spoon i used to mix up some raw meat the other day!! Maybe i should buy another spoon and mark one so we know which is which"


And i got told off once again for not wanting to eat a meal , of spaghetti bolognese at 5 15 in the afternoon
 
Ok she's learned to accept the fact I do not eat dinner prior to 6 or even 7pm now.

These are the pearls of wisdom she gave me, after she snatched the keys away from me (her car- it was parked behind mine- and i was going to move their car myself to save either my mum or dad from coming downstairs and doing it). I, apparently, as someone whose driven for 20 years cannot handle a different car to my own- for 25 feet.

- be careful driving in thongs, its slippery
- have you got an umbrella? (for the 10 metre walk to the car)
- dont park at the side of the house its flooding!!! (its not)

There were a couple more but I cant remember.



Right now im holed up in my room. The rain has stopped hours ago, but they're not budging. Ffs hurry UP tomorrow. :sadv1:

This week spent here has made me understand why my dad spends so much time in the garage.
 
I honestly do not understand the concern driving with thongs on.

I find it extremely easy, never had one "incident" where they're been caught under the pedal, idk. Pretty much anything is easy to drive in (even high heels- the heel/stilletto part just digs into the floor of the car), except socks. And bare feet isnt the greatest either.
 
Not so much what was said but what she did. Today we were at the basketball stadium all watching my eldest kids first night at basketball. The younger one, 5 years old, needs to go to the toilet. She takes for eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeever. I ask her what took her so long and she said she did a poo. Fair enough. Fast forward 20 minutes later. Basketball has finished and older kid needs to go to the toilet. Younger kid goes in too. All the stalls are locked so they just wait. And wait. Aaand wait. Finally the 5 year old chirps up and says she crawled under all the stalls earlier and locked every door. She wanted to play a trick on everyone to pretend that they were occupied. She figured they'd work it out and crawl under to unlock the door themselves.
 
Quivorir said:
Not so much what was said but what she did. Today we were at the basketball stadium all watching my eldest kids first night at basketball. The younger one, 5 years old, needs to go to the toilet. She takes for eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeever. I ask her what took her so long and she said she did a poo. Fair enough. Fast forward 20 minutes later. Basketball has finished and older kid needs to go to the toilet. Younger kid goes in too. All the stalls are locked so they just wait. And wait. Aaand wait. Finally the 5 year old chirps up and says she crawled under all the stalls earlier and locked every door. She wanted to play a trick on everyone to pretend that they were occupied. She figured they'd work it out and crawl under to unlock the door themselves.
Click to expand...

Ha ha, fantastic!
 
Quivorir said:
Not so much what was said but what she did. Today we were at the basketball stadium all watching my eldest kids first night at basketball. The younger one, 5 years old, needs to go to the toilet. She takes for eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeever. I ask her what took her so long and she said she did a poo. Fair enough. Fast forward 20 minutes later. Basketball has finished and older kid needs to go to the toilet. Younger kid goes in too. All the stalls are locked so they just wait. And wait. Aaand wait. Finally the 5 year old chirps up and says she crawled under all the stalls earlier and locked every door. She wanted to play a trick on everyone to pretend that they were occupied. She figured they'd work it out and crawl under to unlock the door themselves.
Click to expand...
That’s evil genius s**t right there 😂
 
My 5 yr old great niece on the weekend when I was trying to show her something on the piano. "I know that. I've been playing since I was 4 years old".
 
Quivorir said:
Not so much what was said but what she did. Today we were at the basketball stadium all watching my eldest kids first night at basketball. The younger one, 5 years old, needs to go to the toilet. She takes for eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeever. I ask her what took her so long and she said she did a poo. Fair enough. Fast forward 20 minutes later. Basketball has finished and older kid needs to go to the toilet. Younger kid goes in too. All the stalls are locked so they just wait. And wait. Aaand wait. Finally the 5 year old chirps up and says she crawled under all the stalls earlier and locked every door. She wanted to play a trick on everyone to pretend that they were occupied. She figured they'd work it out and crawl under to unlock the door themselves.
Click to expand...
Teenage years already looking like they might be fun with that one.
 
My almost 3yo enjoyed reading a book the other night and deciding which of the animal characters on a page were members of the family.

I lovingly copped being a hippo in a dress.
 
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