Funny s**t your kids have said

[Duritz]

Come on. With all the "am I fat?" and "do I matter?" and "what aftershave best represents who I am as a maaaaan" and "what forearm tattoo describes me?" and "if I masturbate too much, will I harm my chances of becoming a successful hand model?" threads around, I thought we needed something that wasn't self involved.

I'll start... and hopefully this sets the trend: my 7yo son a few months ago, after lights out, appeared in the hallway and wandered straight into the kitchen. He grabbed a tissue, wandered back down the hall and to our inquisitive looks said, "I need this for what I'm doing in my bed."










PS - he was colouring in his AFL colouring in book.

 

[crazyman27]

 

[Duritz]

Yeah... technically not your kids man.

 

[Stratton_Gun]

I'm surprised anyone with a son has so much time to troll on the Bay
anyways....

 

[crazyman27]

 

[Stratton_Gun]

OP please rename to "Bill Cosby thread"

 

[Catfish Alley]

http://www.buzzfeed.com/mattbellassai/the-creepiest-things-a-child-has-ever-said-to-a-parent

 

[Duritz]

http://www.buzzfeed.com/mattbellassai/the-creepiest-things-a-child-has-ever-said-to-a-parent

Psychopaths. Every last one of them.

 

[SugarShane]

Chances are this thread follows the golden rule of parenting. No one else thinks your kids are as cute as you do.

 

[Duritz]

Chances are this thread follows the golden rule of parenting. No one else thinks your kids are as cute as you do.

No that rule is no one else thinks YOUR kids are cute, the ugly boofheads.

 

[SugarShane]

No that rule is no one else thinks YOUR kids are cute, the ugly boofheads.

I might be concerned if i had any.

 

[Poseidon]

 

[Duritz]

I might be concerned if i had any.

See - even YOU disown them. They must be such ugly little brutes.

 

[Duritz]

That's some nice work Lou...

 

[Dirty Bird]

You have a son?
God help him.

 

[Illinois Nazi]

http://www.buzzfeed.com/mattbellassai/the-creepiest-things-a-child-has-ever-said-to-a-parent

Number 7

 

[Duritz]

LOL, in the replies to that article...

Neil Reeves · Works at Geosearch Logging
My 7 year old son out of the blue asked me one day" Dad do we have any short people in the family"? I responded "no" He says " There goes that plan".
Reply · 868 · Like· Follow Post · April 30 at 10:45pm

 

[Jackfrost]

Had a cracker last night. My Wife was reading my 3y old a book and there's a picture of a dark baby being given a bath:
"What's that?"
"That's a baby having a bath"
"but what's that?"
"That's the baby"
"but what's that?"
Catching on now…
"That's a baby, some people have light skin and some people have brown skin"
Pause…
"Is he washing the brown off?"

 

[BORK]

"Racism had a face and it was a 3 year old"

 

[half_back_flank]

I want to be married and have 100 kids so I can have 100 friends and no one can say no to being my friend.

 

[MisterMarcus]

My wife and I were talking half-seriously about having another kid.

We said to our little boy: "Do you want a baby brother, or a baby sister?"

He replied: "I want a babycino!"

 

[Duritz]

My wife and I were talking half-seriously about having another kid.

We said to our little boy: "Do you want a baby brother, or a baby sister?"

He replied: "I want a babycino!"

Did he finish with the word "darling" then wave his hand with a flourish?

 

[worbod]

These were not my biological kids but were my kids in the sense that I had duty of care for them. And with that semi-flimsy premise, I will post this story:

When I worked in a primary school in 1996, I was working on the library computer one day, when the door opened and a group of students came bursting in and headed towards the computers across the other side of the room. The class teacher came in a few seconds later and called out to one boy, "Daniel, I've told you not to run in the library!"
The boy replied instantly, "I wasn't running, I was power walking."

 

[Commissioner Gordon]

These were not my biological kids but were my kids in the sense that I had duty of care for them. And with that semi-flimsy premise, I will post this story:

When I worked in a primary school in 1996, I was working on the library computer one day, when the door opened and a group of students came bursting in and headed towards the computers across the other side of the room. The class teacher came in a few seconds later and called out to one boy, "Daniel, I've told you not to run in the library!"
The boy replied instantly, "I wasn't running, I was power walking."

:/

 

[TubbsFarquhar]

These were not my biological kids but were my kids in the sense that I had duty of care for them. And with that semi-flimsy premise, I will post this story:

When I worked in a primary school in 1996, I was working on the library computer one day, when the door opened and a group of students came bursting in and headed towards the computers across the other side of the room. The class teacher came in a few seconds later and called out to one boy, "Daniel, I've told you not to run in the library!"
The boy replied instantly, "I wasn't running, I was power walking."

Wow, I am in stitches .