LanceRomance
Brownlow Medallist
why is it when Hawks find it tough opposition players get hurt...
Funny s**t your kids have said
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LanceRomance
Brownlow Medallist
LanceRomance
Brownlow Medallist
lol wrong thread
Smeg Head
Just take a bite
Shame, I was going to recommend Lance Jr replace Rompingwins.
Punchy Bassett
Brownlow Medallist
Soooo the three year old lad announced to mum this morning, "* there is no chocolate" Awesome!
Punchy Bassett
Brownlow Medallist
And the 8 year old daughter was whining on a drive home yesterday conversation when like this:
Mum: "You can have the chocolate frog if you promise to not whinge once more on the drive home"
Daughter: Eats chocolate, five minutes later, whinges.
Mum: "Oh is someone whinging guess you'll have to vomit that frog up then"
Daughter: " Yeah Mum I'll vomit it into your face!"
Couldn't stop laughing for a while after that!
Mum: "You can have the chocolate frog if you promise to not whinge once more on the drive home"
Daughter: Eats chocolate, five minutes later, whinges.
Mum: "Oh is someone whinging guess you'll have to vomit that frog up then"
Daughter: " Yeah Mum I'll vomit it into your face!"
Couldn't stop laughing for a while after that!
The little fella was getting the grumpies at me for some reason.
Him: I'm angry at you dad!
Me: Okay, well I'm angry with you too!
Him: And I don't like you anymore!
Me: Okay, well I don't like you anymore too!
Him: Well I'm going to tell YOUR daddy on you! And you can't tell MY daddy on me....because you're you and you can't tell yourself!!
Him: I'm angry at you dad!
Me: Okay, well I'm angry with you too!
Him: And I don't like you anymore!
Me: Okay, well I don't like you anymore too!
Him: Well I'm going to tell YOUR daddy on you! And you can't tell MY daddy on me....because you're you and you can't tell yourself!!
RedmanWasHere
Rarely in kitchens at parties.
- Aug 23, 2010
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Quivorir
"Unhinged"
- Mar 29, 2010
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My little girl has started calling the wife, pop and I by our first names -_-
- Feb 19, 2016
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I'm sure my workmates are looking at me weird for shaking with laughter ...
My wife looks eerily similar to Emily Blunt. Not the made-up, glamorous, red carpet Emily Blunt, but the no make-up, gym clothes, carrying the kids and groceries Emily Blunt.
An ad for the movie Sicario came on Foxtel whilst she is preggo, and the 5yo piped up with "is that you on tv before you porked up Mum?"
An ad for the movie Sicario came on Foxtel whilst she is preggo, and the 5yo piped up with "is that you on tv before you porked up Mum?"
Croweater
Club Legend
My cousin has a six year old boy. I was over at his house on the weekend and we were half watching the football/half watching the young lad read his book with his Mum.
He was reading this book:
Now, it's pronounced ka-noot, but if you're not a particularly capable reader, you might mispronounce it to something, well, a little different.
He's making his way through the first page and all is going well. He gets to the bottom of the page and goes "To Thomas, the cub just looked like a "C*nt", so C*nt it was". The young guy has no idea what that word means, let alone how inappropriate it is.
As much as we tried to compose ourselves, all three of us were in hysterics. The young lad had no idea what was going on, and my cousin's wife while still trying to contain her laughter explained that his name was pronounced ka-noot. It was bloody hilarious.
He was reading this book:
Now, it's pronounced ka-noot, but if you're not a particularly capable reader, you might mispronounce it to something, well, a little different.
He's making his way through the first page and all is going well. He gets to the bottom of the page and goes "To Thomas, the cub just looked like a "C*nt", so C*nt it was". The young guy has no idea what that word means, let alone how inappropriate it is.
As much as we tried to compose ourselves, all three of us were in hysterics. The young lad had no idea what was going on, and my cousin's wife while still trying to contain her laughter explained that his name was pronounced ka-noot. It was bloody hilarious.
A few from my middle boy 4yo
- Ask him to answer the front door, expecting my parents. After answering the door and finding a salesman he yells out "Dad there is a brown guy at the door".
- Trying to exchange damaged goods at bunnings and the sales lady was busting my balls. Little bloke chimes in "You are mean and really ugly."
- Shopping at the Market he asks a woman "why do you have a red dot on your head?"
- At the library he says to older lady "you look like a lady but have a moustache like a man."
lmao, I just read this out loud to my missus. I love kids like that, my middle child was like that too.A few from my middle boy 4yo
- Ask him to answer the front door, expecting my parents. After answering the door and finding a salesman he yells out "Dad there is a brown guy at the door".
- Trying to exchange damaged goods at bunnings and the sales lady was busting my balls. Little bloke chimes in "You are mean and really ugly."
- Shopping at the Market he asks a woman "why do you have a red dot on your head?"
- At the library he says to older lady "you look like a lady but have a moustache like a man."
We were on holiday in Alice Springs. On the drive we ventured into a roadhouse that was in the middle of nowhere. There was a heavy concentration of indigenous people in this roadhouse. Some of these people were extremely darker, as with a lot of Aborigines in the middle of Australia.
My wife was in the shop when my then 4 year old son suddenly ran screaming to her yelling out "MUMMY, SHADOWS, SHADOWS".
The looks we got, could not get out of there quick enough.
My 7 year old just asked his 3 year old sister whether she would prefer to live on her knees or die on her feet?
Last edited:
My 7 year old just asked his 3 year old sister whether she would prefer to live on her knees or die on her feet?
That makes me feel better, thought he had been watching Game of Thrones or something.
Just Watching
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My son asked me... "why does mum spend more money than you? Does she have a better job or is she a shop-a-holic"
No idea where he learnt that term at 6.
No idea where he learnt that term at 6.
brutus76
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Some of my boy's wisdom included:
"Dad can we play in the beaches' sandpit?"
"In A MINUTE when I grow up i'll be a policeman and put you in jail for growling at me"
"Pa's had plastic surgery on his teeth" (dentures)
"My body is watering Dad!" (sweating)
"Dad why do you golf backwards?" (i'm a leftie)
"Dad can we play in the beaches' sandpit?"
"In A MINUTE when I grow up i'll be a policeman and put you in jail for growling at me"
"Pa's had plastic surgery on his teeth" (dentures)
"My body is watering Dad!" (sweating)
"Dad why do you golf backwards?" (i'm a leftie)
My son is a teenager now but when we was about 2 we were at the park on a lovely sunny day. A small boy went down the slide followed by my son. Unfortunately the boy wet his pants on the slide. As my son finished his slide he stood up, put his hands on his hips and yelled at the boy walking off ' naughty wittle boy' ! Hahhhhhaaaa. Hilarious.
- Feb 25, 2013
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At around age 7 I was obsessed with World War 2 so I'd be in the back yard killing 'Japs' and 'Germans' all day. My 3 year old sister obviously cottoned on to this as one day at the supermarket she saw two asian looking people and cried out anxiously:
"JAPS DADDY, JAPS!"
"JAPS DADDY, JAPS!"
- Thread starter
- Banned
- #350
It's possible that you were in WW2 in a previous life.
