dearest patrick,
well, it was good while it lasted, bud. I appreciate everything you've done for me in the past, and i'm sure the feeling is mutual. You know, things were pretty great there for a while. You offered me a life of love, excitement and warmth over the last few years. So, thank you.
But hey, we both knew this wouldn't last forever, right? You're no dikembe mutombo, patrick. No one is. Relationships like this, especially for cheap metal like me, aren't meant to endure forever. Three years maybe at the most. Well for us, it was a good part of nine or ten years. That's a long time, man. We should be proud.
So i'm letting go today, for both our sakes. I just feel like i won't be able to give you that support you truly deserve. How can i? I've so much love to offer, but it won't be you who'll be doing the sitting. It won't be you who'll be standing above me every night, waving that towel like a helicopter, and then ever so gently sitting back down. It won't be you, and that is going to be one hell of an adjustment period. You're a part big of me, patrick. Literally. Never forget the impression you've left on my supple heart, soul and face.
But hey, chin up, there's no time for tears today. You'll find someone else. Yeah, yeah, before you know it, you're going to be kicking back on a nice leather couch. Or hey, maybe a bamboo rocking chair! Wouldn't that be something! And don't worry about me, man. I won't see it as an insult. I know life is like that. People, asses, they come and they go. It's just up to us to make the most of it. I know i have.
So goodbye, sweet patrick. May your days of retirement find you surrounded by friends, family, and maybe, just maybe, ottomans. Live long and posture.
Love,
nba chair