Getting your girlfriend to lose weight?

Remove this Banner Ad

She isn't attracted to you anymore. DTB.

Seriously though, I had the opposite problem with my last missus, she was tall and weighed like 40kg. Sometimes dipping into the 30's. Had big boobs too so you can imagine how skinny her arms and legs are. She had that kind of build though (tall skinny) and I'm a small guy myself so we looked alright together.

But damn, she used to eat like once a day, smoked ciggies a lot etc. Once her boobs and butt started getting smaller I got a bit worried an started taking more of an interest in getting her to eat, taking her out to dinners more and stuff, but she'd mostly just eat a few mouthfuls (didn't have an eating disorder or anything, like she wouldn't be throwing it up later or anything) then say she was full. She loved sweets though, chocolate, lollies etc. were the norm for her. It was really weird, like her genetics were just that way for being skinny, but it got to the point where I was really worried. When we met she would have been closer to 45kg, had a killer body (that model look) but slowly she just started getting more lazy, skinnier etc.

Its not like I'm some adonis anyway, I've got a small beer gut, I'm short, not overly muscular. Don't work out or keep fit anywhere near as much as I should, smoke and drink heavily. I guess you've got to keep in mind, when you're trying to change someone, that you can't be expecting them to be perfect either. Think about why you're asking: Are you concerned for your relationship? Your Partner? Or just placing unfair expectations on them to mask the fact you're not in love with them anymore?

In my case I realised it was simply that the relationship wasn't working out, and that I was using her appearance as a way of having an 'out' rather than being honest and evaluating the plethora of other issues we had.

To the OP, you sound like a good guy, and that you're just genuinely concerned for your partner (and that you knwo that once you lose sexual attraction to her its going to be hard for the relationship to continue). All the best with it, but don't beat yourself up over it either. You're coming from a place of love and concern, and just make that clear to her the whole time. The fact you're thinking about her future and her not wanting to miss out on stuff like her Mum did, shows how serious you are about her and how much you are wanting this change for her, not just for yourself.
 
after u have traveled through south america, asia and eastern europe only then do u realise just how fat australian girls are/become.
 
after u have traveled through south america, asia and eastern europe only then do u realise just how fat australian girls are/become.

Agreed. Nothing against Aussie girls on the whole, cause personality wise I reckon they're the best around (if a bit blokey at times). But they don't take as much pride in their appearance as most women.
 

Log in to remove this ad.

Breast cancer gets a s**t load more money thrown at it than prostrate cancer, so lets continue that double standard and have some targeted spending at reducing female obesity levels. At least for that one all of us non-overweight guys would at least benefit (even if only for the view for those of us married). ;)

Isn't part of the reason that prostate cancer usually affects men much later in life, and often doesn't actually contribute to a sufferer's eventual death?
 
best advice.
the OP should start hitting the gym every night, going for a run in the morning. She'll get the message when he is never at home because he is working out all the time. It will also create the perception that he is going to "upgrade" and she'll probably get off her arse.


This could backfire. If he's away at the gym every night she could compensate for his absence with food.
 
Interesting thread. What I don't get is do these obese people actually feel really s**t when they eat so much rubbish? As I sit here today after having gorged myself all day on hot food and cake due to being at an event, I feel pretty crap. I basically only eat like this at christmas. I don't understand how people can put up with feeling like this all the time.
 
Sign her up for some dance classes, get in touch with her mates and see if they can encourage her and/or sign up for those gym classes together. They're quite fun in groups.
 
one of the issues with my girlfriend is I don't think she knows whats good or bad for you because of her mother.

I've never known any other family to eat ice cream because dinner is taking a little longer.
She always has cake here, she'll eat half of it, leave it in the lounge room and give me a dirty look when I say I don't want any.
Add to that, the laziness.

The thing is she used to be really fit, she played for Victoria in Soccer right up to 18, her whole family talks about how fit she used to be and I just can't see it because of what she's like now.
So she's early 20s now and when she was 18 she played state soccer. She is ballooning like crazy and it's gotta be now or never for her weight. If you can't get it to stop soon it ain't gonna stop.

You have to tell her how you feel, not how she feels/looks. None of this "I think you/we should lose weight" or "Maybe you should look at..." etc. Also no talk about the future, deal with facts (here and now) and not what she might look like in a few years/wedding day.

Come out and just say it bluntly: "I love you, but I am beginning to no longer be attracted to you physically." Let her think about that and get out of the house for a few days and when you come back she will either turn the corner/the relationship is over either from your end or hers.
 

(Log in to remove this ad.)

My two cents:

You need to twist the story about how you need to get more fitter and healther and you need her help to do it because you lack motivation. That means buying healthier food, exercising together has to be a combined effort or else results won't be achieved.
If she is not willing to make an effort as a favour to you to do any of the above (that includes not gorging everytime she visits the parents), then she doesn't feel the same way to you, as you do to her.
 
Get some female friends that are slim...if need be, bang them. That ought to teach her.

But really, not a lot you can do about it, if you have made suggestions and tried to get her to exercise/eat well with you. Have not read the whole thread, but have you broached health issues that can arise from being overweight?
 
I was thinking about this at the gym today.

You need to think about what you want out of your life as well.

In five years time will you be happy sitting in front of the TV eating? Do you want children? Obese people struggle significantly more to have children. If she maintains her current pattern, she's not going to get smaller but bigger. Will you be happy facing the tears everytime you go out because she has nothing to wear?

Or despite all of this, is she the woman, wife and mother of your children of your dreams?
 
Have decided to look for Mrs Answer in the gym.

Similar interest and active life straight away, mutual motivation and great sechs.

NB: no dirty creeping style, just waiting and being friendly.

Beautiful, intelligent women ask you to check the form of their straight leg dead lifts right?
 
Have decided to look for Mrs Answer in the gym.

Similar interest and active life straight away, mutual motivation and great sechs.

NB: no dirty creeping style, just waiting and being friendly.

Beautiful, intelligent women ask you to check the form of their straight leg dead lifts right?

Providing you weren't creepy about it and didn't make me feel stupid if my form wasn't right. I'd be okay with bring hit on at the gym.
 
Providing you weren't creepy about it and didn't make me feel stupid if my form wasn't right. I'd be okay with bring hit on at the gym.
You mean provided I don't look like Sooz's brother or flop it out on hello?

haha, my main concern is having my intentions misinterperated. I know when I'm at the gym I want to work. I wouldn't be upset with being hit on, but I barely make time for convo with mates there. I know if I were to initiate friendly convo with someone who was a bit like that, there could be a bit of 'GTFO I'm working' vibe.

But GD will receive updates.

Either that or Shellz can just make it easy and ask me to spot her dead lifts....

/creep
 
Yes, they feel pretty s**t after the fact. They feel temporarily good when engaging in the activity, then regret it later. It's like most addictive behaviour.

Kind of like having a pull then?

But OP, don't root her for a while. A long while. When she brings it up the fact you're not interested snap her back to reality about her weight by saying something along the lines of "I'm just not attracted to you anymore" or the more harsh version: "You literally make me want to throw up you fat pig, I'd rather rub one out".
 

Remove this Banner Ad

Back
Top