Good one-liners for everyday use??

[Mootsy]

I'm running out of things to say at work and banter etc..

Are there any good references to funny quotes that people use to help them out??

 

[edgie]

Get to tha choppa

 

[raskolnikov]

One from the Simpsons I use frequently at work.

"I'm impressed. And it takes a lot to impress me. OOOHHH!! A blue car!!"

 

[the_interloper]

Generally anything racist, sexist or homophobic works well in a workplace.

 

[Plugger35]

You could just make a reference to the Australian cricket team, they're pretty funny at the moment.

 

[Richard Cranium]

"Oh yeah? Well I had sex with your wife!"

 

[BILC]

How about that weather

 

[IKnowtheDog]

Nice night for a walk

 

[NSWCROW]

I find " GET ****ED " tends to roll off the tongue quite poetically

 

[Drakescoffeecake]

I can't remember who said it but once I overheard someone say "man my mouth is as dry as a popcorn fart" . Still use it to this day.

Work colleague one called me as useless as a pimple on a hemorrhoid. He was joking though. I think

 

[2006_Eagles]

Show them this article, and then laugh at all the funny picture captions together

http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/re...o/news-story/aa87e3b4a7206bd76f3d6a7705dcb2b1

 

[Big Cox 88]

Come here often?

 

[edgie]

I'll be back

Sent from my Lumia 800 using Tapatalk

 

[Gough]

Spoiler: In very questionable taste.

I haven't laughed that hard since Rabin was shot by another Jew.

 

[rank and file]

Heard a good one the other day
Happy as a dog with 2 dicks in a street full of lamp posts

 

[Andronicus]

"Oh yeah? Well I had sex with your wife!"

Pfft,

I don't even get to say that to the mirror all that often.

 

[perthblue]

hey george, the ocean called and they're running out of shrimp

 

[NSWCROW]

Toeier than a roman sandal

 

[benchwarmer5]

Ya teeth got so many gaps it looks like ya tongue in jail

 

[edgie]

Have you tried hitting her?

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[GPW1]

Woozle wuzzle.

 

[Gigantic]

Nice shoes, let's ****

 

[Duritz]

I once spent an entire day trying to work the Shakespeare line, "there's many a slip 'twixt the cup and the lip" into conversation as often as I could. If you sound as though you know what you're using it for it's amazing how many people will nod along with you.

 

[the_interloper]

I once spent an entire day trying to work the Shakespeare line, "there's many a slip 'twixt the cup and the lip" into conversation as often as I could. If you sound as though you know what you're using it for it's amazing how many people will nod along with you.

What about "your box is like a oyster, slimy, smells like fish and I want to eat it?"

 

[Duritz]

What about "your box is like a oyster, slimy, smells like fish and I want to eat it?"

Ah yes one of my best, that's for sure.