Great geelong sledges

[roacheee]

I have a golf game paid for by a geelong fan as a losing grand final bet. I have 4 hours of merciless sledging to fill and the terms of the bet are he has to take it and no retorts...or salty tears.

Help me out here with your best memes and sledges

 

[Soberian Tiger]

I'd find the oldest most beat up ball I could, or knock the edges off a newer one, suggest he use it and when he turns it down say, "Chris.Scott would reckon it's in its prime."

 

[beema limapep]

3 flags in 4 > 3 flags in 5

 

[Genghis Tron]

With every swing he takes say 'youre not as good as you were last year'

 

[BF Tiger]

Every stroke you take just yell out "Dusty... I mean fore!"

 

[Soberian Tiger]

Every stroke you take just yell out "Dusty... I mean fore!"

Then swap to "Four. Next year."

 

[4tune8]

Every time he misses the fairway, say "Just like Clangerfield"

Missed putt...."just like Porkins against Port"

 

[fleabitten]

Talk about how its a shame Shane Charter's involvement at Geelong tainted their dynasty.

 

[Drofder]

1. “How much of an affect do you think the government’s aged care reforms will have on Geelong ?”

2. “I don’t think you blokes are ever gonna get over 1967.”

3. “Whats with that ‘Cotton On’ badge on your jumpers down there ? Are you telling everyone you have learning difficulties ?”

4. “Do you think we should make our games 8 minute quarters ? Would that make it fairer ?”

5. “How come you blokes can’t win away from Shell HBA Skilled Park or whatever it’s called ?”

6. “Well, if you guys get Shaun Higgins

4

Shaun Higgins

Age

36

Ht

184cm

Wt

89kg

Pos.

Fwd

Career

Season

Last 5

D

20.4

5star

K

10.6

4star

HB

9.8

5star

M

3.9

4star

T

3.2

5star

G

1.0

4star

D

21.8

5star

K

10.3

4star

HB

11.5

5star

M

2.3

2star

T

3.6

4star

G

0.1

3star

D

12.0

3star

K

7.2

3star

HB

4.8

4star

M

2.8

3star

T

1.8

4star

G

0.6

3star

next year I guess that’ll lower the average age. Go cats.”

7. “Do you think it’s time Victoria was re named Richmond and people like you were made feudal serfs to serve at our beck and call ? Maybe, if you’re lucky, I could get you a job as a blacksmith.”

8. “Seriously mate, what’s in the water down there ? Your swing is looser than a Kolacrapski 15m pass.”

 

[JackGraham]

I have a golf game paid for by a geelong fan as a losing grand final bet. I have 4 hours of merciless sledging to fill and the terms of the bet are he has to take it and no retorts...or salty tears.

Help me out here with your best memes and sledges

Every time he comes up short its ...you've come up Jayden Short

15

Jayden Short

Age

28

Ht

178cm

Wt

75kg

Pos.

Def

Career

Season

Last 5

D

17.4

4star

K

13.3

5star

HB

4.1

3star

M

4.3

4star

T

1.5

3star

MG

430.8

5star

D

19.0

4star

K

14.1

5star

HB

4.9

3star

M

6.3

5star

T

0.8

1star

MG

447.1

5star

D

7.8

2star

K

6.4

3star

HB

1.4

2star

M

3.2

4star

T

2.4

4star

MG

185.2

3star

Every time he hits it wide...you've hit it a bit Broad
Every wedge shot from the sand...you chipped it like Pickett
Snacks afterwards...Do you have any Sausage Rioli's?...or Meatballs?
If it looks like it's going to rain...or if it's not...Do you think we need our McIntosh's?
Every crap shot with a wood..You Joel Selwooded it
Every time it goes into the rough warn him he is in the Dangerfield...and will only get out with help from Dusty.
...and of course...if any ball goes missing tell him he has Gary Rohaned it.

 

[tigerwill]

At every hole tell him to “grab the flag”. it’s the only one he’ll get this year
You may have to show him what it looks like.

Hole #1 we’re playing on the Nick Vlaustin 2020 premiership player
Hole #2 we’re playing on the Dylan Grimes

2

Dylan Grimes

Age

32

Ht

194cm

Wt

92kg

Pos.

Def

Career

Season

Last 5

D

11.6

3star

K

6.3

2star

HB

5.3

4star

M

3.9

4star

T

2.4

4star

MG

136.0

2star

D

12.2

3star

K

7.4

3star

HB

4.8

3star

M

4.7

4star

T

1.4

2star

MG

136.0

2star

D

9.4

3star

K

3.8

2star

HB

5.6

4star

M

3.0

3star

T

1.0

3star

Hole #3 we’re playing on the Dion Prestia

3

Dion Prestia

Age

31

Ht

175cm

Wt

84kg

Pos.

Mid

Career

Season

Last 5

D

24.1

5star

K

12.7

5star

HB

11.4

5star

M

3.1

3star

T

4.4

5star

CL

4.6

5star

D

21.2

5star

K

10.4

4star

HB

10.8

5star

M

2.4

3star

T

4.2

5star

CL

3.2

4star

D

12.8

4star

K

6.0

3star

HB

6.8

5star

M

3.2

4star

T

3.0

5star

CL

1.4

4star

etc
just add in other numbers ad hoc
Smashed it like Nankervis
Trickled in like piss running down dangerdives leg
Curled it in like Dusty
in the rough, like Saltys game plan
Get back to the middle, like dangerflop should’ve
Nice hook, just like porkins
Yell out “in the hole” “just like the cats”

geez mate you’ll need a thick notebook for all the suggestions

 

[TIGERMANIAC]

Elbow him in the face and tell him you didn’t mean it. Better yet, use the 1 wood.

 

[tigerwill]

Elbow him in the face and tell him you didn’t mean it. Better yet, use the 1 wood.

Incidental contact, play on

 

[Drofder]

“Ffs mate. That ball came off the face like a Danger kick. And it’s out of bounds like one too.”

 

[Tony Harrison]

This Dimmasty shits on the Dankasty.

 

[1980GFVideo]

Let me him take the lead at the 9th hole and let him know that he would need to be s**t to lose from there.

 

[fleabitten]

There's gotta be a brilliant Caddy golf pun to be had that somehow encapsulates this video:



Somebody help me out here.

 

[Soberian Tiger]

If he takes too long on a hole, I'd say, "We need to speed things up. You're slower than Harry Taylor on valium."

 

[roacheee]

you evil bastards, i love youse all

 

[fleabitten]

There's gotta be a brilliant Caddy golf pun to be had that somehow encapsulates this video:



Somebody help me out here.

Basically just improv as many Caddy puns as you can. One of them is bound to be gold.

 

[Bojangles17]

Every time he comes up short its ...you've come up Jayden Short

15

Jayden Short

Age

28

Ht

178cm

Wt

75kg

Pos.

Def

Career

Season

Last 5

D

17.4

4star

K

13.3

5star

HB

4.1

3star

M

4.3

4star

T

1.5

3star

MG

430.8

5star

D

19.0

4star

K

14.1

5star

HB

4.9

3star

M

6.3

5star

T

0.8

1star

MG

447.1

5star

D

7.8

2star

K

6.4

3star

HB

1.4

2star

M

3.2

4star

T

2.4

4star

MG

185.2

3star

Every time he hits it wide...you've hit it a bit Broad
Every wedge shot from the sand...you chipped it like Pickett
Snacks afterwards...Do you have any Sausage Rioli's?...or Meatballs?
If it looks like it's going to rain...or if it's not...Do you think we need our McIntosh's?
Every crap shot with a wood..You Joel Selwooded it
Every time it goes into the rough warn him he is in the Dangerfield...and will only get out with help from Dusty.
...and of course...if any ball goes missing tell him he has Gary Rohaned it.

That’s a pissa

 

[Tony Harrison]

Grian Miers

 

[roacheee]

a duck hook is a selwood
a fade is like geelongs second half
out of bounds is a dangerflog
a thinned shot that goes over 100metres is a gryan miers

32

Gryan Miers

Age

25

Ht

179cm

Wt

81kg

Pos.

Fwd

Career

Season

Last 5

D

15.4

4star

K

9.1

4star

HB

6.3

4star

M

4.1

4star

T

1.8

4star

G

1.1

4star

D

15.3

4star

K

9.0

4star

HB

6.3

4star

M

4.6

4star

T

1.6

3star

G

0.9

4star

D

14.4

4star

K

8.4

4star

HB

6.0

4star

M

3.8

4star

T

2.2

4star

G

1.2

4star

, ran ok but ugly as s**t
a missed putt that comes up short is a......geelong 2020
a missed putt long is..... past it like geelongs list
bunkers will be known as chris scott

Chris Scott

Age

47

Ht

182cm

Wt

89kg

Pos.

Fwd

Career

Season

Last 5

D

16.6

4star

K

11.2

4star

HB

5.4

4star

M

5.1

5star

T

1.6

4star

G

0.4

3star

No current season stats available

D

13.2

4star

K

10.2

4star

HB

3.0

3star

M

2.2

3star

T

2.8

5star

G

0.4

3star

's vagina, full of sand

i know the humour is broad and he might get short with me but you can't ab-lett this sort of opportunity go by

 

[jc12]

I have a golf game paid for by a geelong fan as a losing grand final bet. I have 4 hours of merciless sledging to fill and the terms of the bet are he has to take it and no retorts...or salty tears.

Help me out here with your best memes and sledges

surely there has to be something about chris scott

Chris Scott

Age

47

Ht

182cm

Wt

89kg

Pos.

Fwd

Career

Season

Last 5

D

16.6

4star

K

11.2

4star

HB

5.4

4star

M

5.1

5star

T

1.6

4star

G

0.4

3star

No current season stats available

D

13.2

4star

K

10.2

4star

HB

3.0

3star

M

2.2

3star

T

2.8

5star

G

0.4

3star

holding his cards close to his chest yet still losing in the same way LOL

 

[roacheee]

Basically just improv as many Caddy puns as you can. One of them is bound to be gold.

"we need a caddy, any idea where we could get a good one, for nothing?'
"gee i'd be so much better if i had a caddy, just like geelong"