Greatest Cricket Sledges

[krisholio14]

[youtube]X1NFbVx0uN8[/youtube]

you only need to put the video code in, not the whole link

 

[Tyberious Funk]

Not a sledge, but a funny story nonetheless...

England were playing India and Fred Trueman, was making his debut. He was all of 21 years old, but already had a reputation for being very, very fast. When Bedser knocked over one of the openers, Polly Umrigar came out to bat.

Polly was a decent player in his prime, but he'd never played against someone as fast as Trueman. The first ball flew past his nose before he even saw it. So he called out to the sightscreen attendant to move the sightscreen. Next ball was even faster, and again Polly barely saw it. So again, he called to adjust the sightscreen. Third ball, and Polly misses again.

As he goes to signal the sightscreen attendent, the umpire decides he's had enough and steps in. "Please Mr Umrigar," he says "tell me exactly where you want the sightscreen"

To which Polly replies "Somewhere between me and that mad bastard Fred Trueman!!"

 

[SCARD]

Tasmania v New South Wales circa 1980. Len Pascoe beats Roger Woolley three balls in a row but can't hit the stumps or find the edge. In frustration Pascoe screams: "I know how you get a game in Tasmania. Three Kelloggs Coupons and you're in."

 

[Bomber Bears]

[youtube]8lsKCd0L9RA[/youtube]

 

[Wallaby]

Not an opposition sledge, but Freddie Trueman used to tell the story of being in the West Indies. He was bowling at Basil Butcher and Gary Sobers on a road of a pitch with the score at 1-for-Plenty.

He had a conference with the skipper, the skip agreed to put a 2nd slip back in (they had been boundary-riding for the last 2 hours), and Fred would give it one more big effort.

First ball - Butcher goes the cut - snick straight to 2nd slip - knee height - Fred leaps in joy - ball goes straight through Raman Subba Row to the boundary for 4. 1-for-Even More.

At the end of the over, Subba row walks past Fred and mutters 'Sorry. Should have kept my knees together'. Fred: 'It's a pity your mother didn't'.

 

[PrideOf]

We had a keeper who looked like Chopper Read. Every time we'd get some kid come to the crease, Chopper would start with 'this one's pretty' and blow the kid kisses. Then we'd have a mid-pitch conference and Chopper would say loud enough for the kid to hear 'let's keep this one in - I want to have a look at him. Wide outside off and don't get him out'. Then he'd go back behind the stumps saying how 'pretty' this kid was.

First ball - way outside off. Chopper starts chatting the kid up.

Second ball - way outside off. Chopper keeps chatting the kid up, by which time he's crapping himself.

Third ball - way outside off. Chopper by now is blowing kisses.

Fourth ball - angled in. Edge taken at 2nd or 3rd slip usually.

Staggered at how many times that worked.

 

[NAUGHT5]

Playing years back in under 12's or 13's..
The opposition had a girl on the team
Anyway we got our 2nd wicket and they sent out their number 4.
Out comes some kid and our wicket keeper said "oh they sent the girl in pretty early". It wasn't the girl but us being a bunch of 12 year olds loved it.

 

[sammy 2]

sir viv use to call mike whitney the hare becouse he came in after the bunny.

 

[footyfreak]

We had a keeper who looked like Chopper Read. Every time we'd get some kid come to the crease, Chopper would start with 'this one's pretty' and blow the kid kisses. Then we'd have a mid-pitch conference and Chopper would say loud enough for the kid to hear 'let's keep this one in - I want to have a look at him. Wide outside off and don't get him out'. Then he'd go back behind the stumps saying how 'pretty' this kid was.

First ball - way outside off. Chopper starts chatting the kid up.

Second ball - way outside off. Chopper keeps chatting the kid up, by which time he's crapping himself.

Third ball - way outside off. Chopper by now is blowing kisses.

Fourth ball - angled in. Edge taken at 2nd or 3rd slip usually.

Staggered at how many times that worked.

Awesome!!!! Sounds exactly like the kind of shit we used to pull in sport or other situations just to freak the shit out of people!

'let's keep this one in - I want to have a look at him. Wide outside off and don't get him out'.

I lost my shit at this!!

Just to see the look on these young crews faces would have been priceless!!!

I'm sure a few would have thought it was a G up but 3 or 4 balls wide outside off as instructed by Uncle chop chop would make you wonder if this guy really was prepared to sacrifice a wicket to fulfil his pedo desires of looking at ya arse for a few overs!!!!

 

[PrideOf]

Awesome!!!! Sounds exactly like the kind of shit we used to pull in sport or other situations just to freak the shit out of people!



I lost my shit at this!!

Just to see the look on these young crews faces would have been priceless!!!

I'm sure a few would have thought it was a G up but 3 or 4 balls wide outside off as instructed by Uncle chop chop would make you wonder if this guy really was prepared to sacrifice a wicket to fulfil his pedo desires of looking at ya arse for a few overs!!!!

Yeah it was hilarious when the kid got out. They never knew why we were literally crying on the field while they were heading back to the sheds.

We had another version where the bowler would bowl ball 3 or 4 at the stumps inside of wide outside off and Chopper would go ape shit at him.

Then the next one was well outside off.

The next one at the stumps.

Worked like clockwork.

 

[The Passenger]

thought i'd have a quick revival of this thread.

a bloke a loosely know is on my facebook decided to hang up the boots mid season at the age of 30. he was an average off spinner who played a fair amount of first grade, but more second grade in sydney. he had a post stating he was giving up grade cricket, and there was a whole bunch of replies, "good career mate" etc,. etc,. a guy who is now living in perth posted, "sorry to hear mate, you're 1/150's were inspirational to me" classic

 

[BLPC08]

Glen McGrath to Sarwan: " What does Brian Lara's c**k taste like?"

Sarwan replies: "I don't know, ask your wife?"

Glen McGrath's comeback: "If you ever mention my f***ing wife again, I"ll rip your f***ing throat out, you b**ck c**t"

Sarwan replies: "ok, I won't mention her again"

Classic McGrath.

 

[courtjester]

Glen McGrath to Sarwan: " What does Brian Lara's c**k taste like?"

Sarwan replies: "I don't know, ask your wife?"

Glen McGrath's comeback: "If you ever mention my f***ing wife again, I"ll rip your f***ing throat out, you b**ck c**t"

Sarwan replies: "ok, I won't mention her again"

Classic McGrath.

Classic Sarwan I reckon. McGrath got owned there.

 

[Belnakor]

he didn't get racial, the rest is correct though

 

[psychobrown]

Some good stuff mentioned at international level. My favourite is Sarwan's, it's like an 80's-Action-movie-quality one-liner in the scheme of things and got Glenn all huffing and puffing. I imagine if it happened now he could retort with "which one?!?". Probably another sledge that seemed to be highly effective was Warney calling Adam Gilchrist 'arse-licker' in those shield matches, apparently really put Adam off his game and hurt his feelings something fierce. Favourite off-field sledge I think would have to be "the brown-nosed gnome".

I wish some more would be told, particularly from golden eras like Ian Chappell's day and even the Australian team of the early 2000s. The latter unit seemed to just get under the skin of South African and Indian players with some of the ol' racism and sexual insults, so curious about what was said and if they are witty and if I can use them myself.

 

[DJ Dupree]

Glen McGrath to Sarwan: " What does Brian Lara's c**k taste like?"

Sarwan replies: "I don't know, ask your wife?"

Glen McGrath's comeback: "If you ever mention my f***ing wife again, I"ll rip your f***ing throat out, you b**ck c**t"

Sarwan replies: "ok, I won't mention her again"

Classic McGrath.

That was just stupid - if Mcgrath wasn't prepared for the inevitable wife retort, he shouldn't have started any sledging (asking about Lara's c*ck... really? Not even funny), and in any case I doubt Sarwan even knew what was going on.

If Sarwan had gone out all guns blazing about her illness or whatever, from nowhere, then yeah, McGrath's fine to react that way. But after he'd started something, and to a retort that was just the standard 'your wife' rubbish and wasn't even anything personal - I think he overeacted like a massive w*nker.

 

[Carbine Chaos]

Guy blocking ball after ball in a one day match.

My mates yells out, "Plenty of gaps in the air, f****t!"

Nek minnit; caught at mid on going for the tonk.

Fail.

 

[Doss]

Tino Best batting against England in a Test in 2004, facing Ashley Giles. He's doing his best to restrain himself from the temptation to go the tonk.

Flintoff at slip is awake to this, and chimes in with: "mind the pavilion windows, Tino".

Best then promptly goes the charge, misses by about three metres and is stumped by half the pitch.

Flintoff roars in laughter.

 

[ioppolo]

Mark Boucher vs Zimbabwe (Tatenda Taibu I think?). Somewhere on youtube, quality stuff from Boucher.

 

[Kyptastic]

Mark Boucher vs Zimbabwe (Tatenda Taibu I think?). Somewhere on youtube, quality stuff from Boucher.

 

[sherb]

The Healy one is still my favourite.

Succinct and to the point.

And true.

 

[Doss]

Can't remember who delivered the sledge, but the story goes that around 1980 during an England/New Zealand Test, Ewen Chatfield was sledging one of the English players, so they retorted with, "careful, just remember you've been killed on a cricket field once already".

If you aren't aware of the context, read this: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ewen_Chatfield

Quality sledge, I reckon.

 

[Kyptastic]

That was just stupid - if Mcgrath wasn't prepared for the inevitable wife retort, he shouldn't have started any sledging (asking about Lara's c*ck... really? Not even funny), and in any case I doubt Sarwan even knew what was going on.

If Sarwan had gone out all guns blazing about her illness or whatever, from nowhere, then yeah, McGrath's fine to react that way. But after he'd started something, and to a retort that was just the standard 'your wife' rubbish and wasn't even anything personal - I think he overeacted like a massive w*nker.

If you go and watch the extended cut of the incident on Youtube, pretty much every ball McGrath bowled to Sarwan was followed by him calling him a 'pussy' or '******'. Love Pigeon, but he pretty much brought it on himself.

 

[Doss]

Yeah, no sympathy at all from me for McGrath in the Sarwan incident. If you're going to start a shitty war of words with puerile insults like that, then you can't throw the toys out of the cot when it gets thrown back on you.

Especially as Sarwan has always been adamant that he genuinely had no idea of Jane McGrath's health situation at the time. It was a good retort to a very base sledge. And in the end, Sarwan let his bat do the talking- he made a century and WI chased down 418 to win.

 

[Ghostwriter]

Back when the Iranian hostage crisis was unfolding the MCC led by Mike Brearley was touring Australia, Brearley was bearded as was the Ayatollah Khomeini, they looked similar, as Brearley was returning to the dressing rooms after another cheap dismissal, a person in the crowd yells, 'release the hostages'.