Roast Grumpy Old Thread 2019- Summer Edition

see see

And don't forget the joker...
May 30, 2007
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Teenage children on public transport can f*** right off too. THe dilemma that is ruining your world will pass in 20 minutes now shut the f*** up and allow the rest of us to zone the f*** out while we commute between our realities.
I have modified my morning commuting patterns just to avoid the school time peak. The girls are the worst as they literally f***ing shriek about anything and everything. Actually, the boys aren't too bad as they generally just talk footy/cricket depending on the time of year although my train line covers some of Melbourne's more 'prestigious' private schools and some of them carry on like your typical entitled little born-to-rule campaigners.

And those passive aggressive flogs who get all huffy and puffy about you asking them to remove their bag, feet etc so you can sit down. Is there something in the "public" bit of public transport that they don't get? If you don't want to sit next to/opposite someone on your daily commute, drive or ride your bike.
 

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Only Forwards

Brownlow Medallist
Aug 14, 2008
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I have modified my morning commuting patterns just to avoid the school time peak. The girls are the worst as they literally f***ing shriek about anything and everything. Actually, the boys aren't too bad as they generally just talk footy/cricket depending on the time of year although my train line covers some of Melbourne's more 'prestigious' private schools and some of them carry on like your typical entitled little born-to-rule campaigners.

And those passive aggressive flogs who get all huffy and puffy about you asking them to remove their bag, feet etc so you can sit down. Is there something in the "public" bit of public transport that they don't get? If you don't want to sit next to/opposite someone on your daily commute, drive or ride your bike.
I have headphones for this purpose now because I simply cannot zone idiocy like the shite that comes out of their mouths out.

There are many aspects of public transport that shit me.

if the train is packed and your standing and then someone seated near you gets off, sit down, don;t continue to stand in the aisle, it helps no one.
 

muttley45

Premium Gold
May 4, 2009
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Pet hate, and it has happened twice in the last 12 months, driving in the left lane of the Western Ring Road doing 100kph, and ten ton tipper truck or two full of gravel, doing 120+kph in the right lane, lose a few bits of said gravel, which are like guided missiles to my windscreen, impact produces a chip and vertical crack about 2 feet long.
 

The Other Dean

Whirling Dervish
May 29, 2006
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The missus and I were standing within 5 metres of the Foo Fighters' stage at Jihad surrounded by people who spent the entire 3 hours looking up to their filming phone screens. Madness!
Nah, It's one step beyond...it's an embarrassment.

It must be love. (Of their mobile phones, rather than the Foo Fighters.)
 

see see

And don't forget the joker...
May 30, 2007
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South American pipe bands. They are literally present in every pedestrian shopping precinct in the known universe, boring the f*** out of passers by with seemingly endless renditions of Guantanamera. In fact, they're so ubiquitous that there mustn't be enough South American musicians to go around as these days the "band" is invariably some sad looking late middle aged bloke playing the pan flute to a backing track.

Just GuantanameraTFO.


PS. Apologies in advance to those of you who read this post and then have the tune of Guantanamera stuck in their heads for the rest of the afternoon. Or even worse, the version used for the old Holden Rodeo commercials.
 

RobZombie

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May 18, 2012
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People who queue at a check out, put all their shopping through and when check out chick says the total decide to go rummaging in their handbags for their purse. Have it ready you idiot - you had 5 minutes to get it out, but no - just hold everyone up another few minutes.
And take another 5 minutes to put everything back in their purse just so, then the purse back in the bag, then the bag in the trolley, then remember the receipt, ...

just move on and get your shit together out of the way.
 

RobZombie

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May 18, 2012
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I have modified my morning commuting patterns just to avoid the school time peak. The girls are the worst as they literally f***ing shriek about anything and everything. Actually, the boys aren't too bad as they generally just talk footy/cricket depending on the time of year although my train line covers some of Melbourne's more 'prestigious' private schools and some of them carry on like your typical entitled little born-to-rule campaigners.
Hurstbridge line? I apologise unreservedly for my kid. Though he is off at Vic Park so you get the rest of the journey off.
 

see see

And don't forget the joker...
May 30, 2007
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Deportivo Wanka
Hurstbridge line? I apologise unreservedly for my kid. Though he is off at Vic Park so you get the rest of the journey off.
No, a little further south. Problem is that the a fair chunk of them change at Richmond so I only get the two minutes to Flinders St undisturbed.
 

Shermanator

Didn't get Luke Jackson NMFC :(
Mar 23, 2001
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F&%^ng Christmas carols & decorations in shops in November !..F&K me sideways its not like Mary was in labour for 6 weeks.

keep it short & sweet .You can play Carols 2 days before xmas..that's it!

and shoot that clown who wrote Snoopys xmas

ps I like this thread !
Geez KR I hate to see you when the Easter Eggs roll out at the Boxing Day sales ;)
 

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shniko11

Beneath the blue and white
Nov 6, 2015
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Kids on trail bikes going up and down in the creek at the back of my house shits me to tears.
Even worse one day the kids father was clearing all the big rocks from the trail and they were smashing against my back fence!
One day i popped my head over and said to the father "Spring cleaning are we"

Seriously go to a proper bike track ffs.:mad:
 

Horace

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Dec 2, 2001
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What shitz me?

People who take a trolley load through the 12 items or less and the checkout numb nuts who allow it.

People who queue at Maccas, finally get to the counter and when the child serving asks what they want go "ummmmmmmmmm, I'm not sure". It's Maccas FFS. I knew what I was having before I left home.

People who queue at a check out, put all their shopping through and when check out chick says the total decide to go rummaging in their handbags for their purse. Have it ready you idiot - you had 5 minutes to get it out, but no - just hold everyone up another few minutes.

People who have to reverse into a parking spot in shopping centre carparks and hold up all the traffic flow while they have five goes at getting it right. Probably the most ignorant driving act I see. How dare you hold everyone else up coz you wanna reverse park so you can just drive out later. Drive in nose first and reverse out when you return.

Companies who reply to emails without a person's name on the email. It might be signed - the membership team. Bullshit. Did every member of the membership team see that email? I want to know which person sent it. You know my name. Ignorant beyond belief that companies think this is an acceptable thing.

More to come when I cool down........
Gee I really get that post gk.
 

Horace

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Dec 2, 2001
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This is a cracking thread boys and girls. So much here that I identify with.

As for trains I just hate the way some people decide to carry on very loud conversations, either with a mate or mates on the same train or worse stil,l on a mobile, without regard to the fact that no-one else on the train could give a s*** about what they got up to over the weekend or similar. Just talk quietly or better still SHUT UP.

T'toes touched on similar earlier but those people (and they probably don't know who they are otherwise they would lift their game) who elect to travel at 10 k's or more below the speed limit, in the right hand lane usually, effectively slowing everyone else down, need to have their licences taken from them. At the risk of appearing racist there are some from a particular overseas country who are easily the worst. I can pick the nationality every time from about half a k away. Nice people but boy how were they ever allowed to get a licence?
 

Harris 10

Norm Smith Medallist
Jun 8, 2004
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People who queue at a check out, put all their shopping through and when check out chick says the total decide to go rummaging in their handbags for their purse. Have it ready you idiot - you had 5 minutes to get it out, but no - just hold everyone up another few minutes.
This for me, drives me friggen nuts.
Also hate someone that lines up forever then gets to the front and can't make up their mind what they want.
 

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