Roast Grumpy Old Thread 2019- Summer Edition

Twinkletoes

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Jan 28, 2004
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Whoever the campaigner was that thought it'd be a good idea to plant a few hundred Plane Trees in central Melbourne deserves to be water boarded.
Fear not mate, help is at hand and you should be able to walk through the streets of Melbs allergy free in your late 60's.

Plane trees given the boot from Melbourne CBD

24/10/2019
ROSS AND JOHN





Melbourne City Council is removing most of its London plane trees, in a move which has been met with joy from many hay fever sufferers.
The trees are renowned for triggering hay fever attacks, but allergies are not the key reason the council is removing the trees.
Most of the trees will be removed from the inner city over the next 20 years in a bid to increase tree species diversity and make the city’s green canopy more resilient.
Stephen Frank, director of Treelogic, said plane trees have been overused in cities around the world, leading to lack of ecological diversity in metropolitan areas.
“Because of the characteristics that they have, been very successful urban trees,” he told 3AW’s Ross and John.

“They have probably, in a sense, been overused.”
Removal of the trees has already begun in Lonsdale Street and Southbank Boulevard, with plans for 3400 new trees to be planted across the city.
The council has not yet revealed which species will replace the plane trees, but Mr Frank said the trees used will need to be drought tolerant.
“Any species we look at … needs to be able to tolerate the changes that we’re predicting within our climate, particularly heat spikes, reduction in moisture,” he said.
“There’s a number of Australian eucalyptus species that can perform that particularly well. There are also some exotic deciduous species from the northern hemisphere, like plane trees, that can also do well.”
 

KiwiRoo

Club Legend
Mar 7, 2007
2,376
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That bastard owes me my right eye. One of those seed balls blew off one morning in a wind gust and got me directly in the eye. Need up at the eye and ear hospital getting the seed spikes removed with my head in a clamp and the surgeon using a syringe to get them out.

No loss of site but scarring causes blurred vision, although I still see every free the umpires miss.

Worst thing is that I damaged my other eye only a week after the eye patch from the first one was removed. Came to work with the other eye patched and everyone thought I was taking the piss.

I had a mate that got his eyes lasered. While he was a recuperating at home, one of the Charities for the Blind ( in a pure coincidence )called him about a donation. He thought it was one of us from work taking the Michael, so told them to go forth and multiply

He was horrified when we assured him it wasn't one of us !
 

see see

And don't forget the joker...
May 30, 2007
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Fear not mate, help is at hand and you should be able to walk through the streets of Melbs allergy free in your late 60's.

Plane trees given the boot from Melbourne CBD

24/10/2019
ROSS AND JOHN





Melbourne City Council is removing most of its London plane trees, in a move which has been met with joy from many hay fever sufferers.
The trees are renowned for triggering hay fever attacks, but allergies are not the key reason the council is removing the trees.
Most of the trees will be removed from the inner city over the next 20 years in a bid to increase tree species diversity and make the city’s green canopy more resilient.
Stephen Frank, director of Treelogic, said plane trees have been overused in cities around the world, leading to lack of ecological diversity in metropolitan areas.
“Because of the characteristics that they have, been very successful urban trees,” he told 3AW’s Ross and John.

“They have probably, in a sense, been overused.”
Removal of the trees has already begun in Lonsdale Street and Southbank Boulevard, with plans for 3400 new trees to be planted across the city.
The council has not yet revealed which species will replace the plane trees, but Mr Frank said the trees used will need to be drought tolerant.
“Any species we look at … needs to be able to tolerate the changes that we’re predicting within our climate, particularly heat spikes, reduction in moisture,” he said.
“There’s a number of Australian eucalyptus species that can perform that particularly well. There are also some exotic deciduous species from the northern hemisphere, like plane trees, that can also do well.”
I'll be well out of Melbourne by then. This place is becoming a cesspool.
 

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blackshadow

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Sep 24, 2007
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I went to my neighbour’s and told him my young fella will be doing trick or treat. I gave him some lollies and small chocolate bars and said just put them in his bucket so he wasn’t inconvenienced in anyway.

The FAT F... didn’t give them all and kept them for himself.
What a campaigner
 

SonofSamsquanch

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Mar 31, 2016
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I had a mate that got his eyes lasered. While he was a recuperating at home, one of the Charities for the Blind ( in a pure coincidence )called him about a donation. He thought it was one of us from work taking the Michael, so told them to go forth and multiply

He was horrified when we assured him it wasn't one of us !
One of my work mates got laser surgery as well. He was happy with it. He also went to the Philippines and got a mouth full of new teeth (sorry Hojuman ).

Another mate had corneal transplant surgery on both eyes. The surgeon who did the second one hand sewed something like 200 stitches areund the cornea of his eye. Amazing.
 

koshari

Brownlow Medallist
Mar 24, 2011
10,237
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I went to my neighbour’s and told him my young fella will be doing trick or treat. I gave him some lollies and small chocolate bars and said just put them in his bucket so he wasn’t inconvenienced in anyway.

The FAT F... didn’t give them all and kept them for himself.
i guess thats why he is fat
 

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Heaps of fun

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Sep 13, 2013
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We all move up there Gaso house prices will rise, traffic will increase, less parking at the lGA, dr's. appt's. harder to make, beer at the Royal will run out, schools become crowded........

Sure you want us ?
Might shorten lines at the drive-thru for the Wallan KFC though.
 
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SonofSamsquanch

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Mar 31, 2016
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"Due to an equipment fault/police request in the Caulfield area, we're a bunch of incompetent, lazy, useless campaigners who couldn't run a p*ss up in a brewery let alone a remotely efficient rail franchise."
One bonus of Katamatite is not having to deal with Metro Trains
Yep. They are hopeless.

I'm doing train then bus (refer back to the car paring discussion - I'm not parking at Frankston station). Last night, almost home. One station to go and 12 minutes till last bus. They hold the train for 7 minutes due to congestion earlier in the day. Train finally limps in. Due to roadworks, bus is now another 800 m away compared to normal. I run, get within a bus length and the campaigner takes off.

OK, the walk home will do me good. But it was hot, uphill and I had already had a shit of a day.

I hold metro bloody trains (and PTV) completely to blame.
 
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see see

And don't forget the joker...
May 30, 2007
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Yep. They are hopeless.

I'm doing train then bus (refer back to the car paring discussion - I'm not parking at Frankston station). Last night, almost home. One station to go and 12 minutes till last bus. They hold the train for 7 minutes due to congestion earlier in the day. Train finally limps in. Due to roadworks, bus is now another 800 m away compared to normal. I run, get within a bus length and the campaigner takes off.

OK, the walk home will do me good. But it was hot, uphill and I had already had a shit of a day.

I hold metro bloody trains (and PTV) completely to blame.
Fear not, help is on its way. The metro tunnel and high capacity rolling stock (already a year behind schedule) will be a game changer for us long suffering commuters. They'll have the capacity to f*** the lives of an additional 25,000 passengers during peak hour. Happy days :thumbsu:
 

Nate7

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Sep 3, 2012
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Fear not, help is on its way. The metro tunnel and high capacity rolling stock (already a year behind schedule) will be a game changer for us long suffering commuters. They'll have the capacity to f*** the lives of an additional 25,000 passengers during peak hour. Happy days :thumbsu:
High capacity trains and platforms that cannot fit them.

What really fu**s me off is how Metro always seem to have service cancellations during both morning and afternoon peak. But you will almost never find a cancellation during weekday off peak or weekends!
Then there's the bullshit of buses replacing trains every ******* weekend on my line you window licking campaigners (metro/ptv)!
 
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KiwiRoo

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Mar 7, 2007
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Fear not, help is on its way. The metro tunnel and high capacity rolling stock (already a year behind schedule) will be a game changer for us long suffering commuters. They'll have the capacity to f*** the lives of an additional 25,000 passengers during peak hour. Happy days :thumbsu:

See see..get out of the city. Best thing I ever did.
I now have a commute of 10 mins (through Vineyards) . I park right outside work. I go home at lunchtime and mow my lawns
Houses are way cheaper.
I go to the big city now and I get claustrophobic !

Lifes too short for traffic jams
 

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