Analysis Hamish, without Andy - The Collectors Edition

[matt_bas]

Sat own with new #1 fan favourite Hamish. Told him that with my help he can become a star. So he's agreed to write a diary for me so I can post his preseason thoughts and keep everyone up to date on our future hall of famer.

Tues 28/11/17
Dear Diary,
Started my journey to Perth on Friday. Told my lil bro to come with me but he said he wanted to fly, he's only gonna be in perrf for 2 years so will milk Freo for all the free stuff he can get. After splashing out nearly 2k on the new iPhone I thought that the maps on it would work, it rekons it should take 27 days to walk to Perrf, well i finally made it across the nullabor in just 2 days. Here's a couple of shots from my journey.

View attachment 441090

Anyways been in perrf since Monday and had me first session today with West Coast. Was pretty good. Walked to training after that, and as I walk up to the entrance spotted Jetta in his car knee deep in a bucket of KFC wings, looked tasty but I'm more a meatball sub guy.
Was nervous walking into training, but I remember what my dad said. Walk up to the biggest baddest guy there and make him feel pain to show everyone who's boss. So i walked right up to Masten kick him square in the nuts! Guy didn't even flinch! Everyone had a good laugh at my expense, how was I ment to know he had them removed for more swerveability.
We devided hit the gym for our full 45. Surprised they do the whole 45 so early in the preseason. Some of the guys are already pretty fit. Mastos lifting 800g already. Dugs doing 2kg leg presses and Hurns up to 2.5kg, think he's trying to bulk up. Anyways after our 45 Simmo took us all out to Subway for some cookies as a treat for trying really hard. Already like Simmo now. Think it will be a good preseason.
Hamish.

 

[2006_Eagles]

 

[bzparkes]

Dude the 1-4 years just built those houses in Cambodia, your player's an absolute mean campaigner.


I like it.

 

[FKASC]

Time to receive some likes for a change

 

[KO_KO]

Get a job matt


On iPhone using BigFooty.com mobile app

 

[KO_KO]

There should be a rule about promoting your sponsored player till AFTER the rest of us campaigners have picked a player.

Shutup


On iPhone using BigFooty.com mobile app

 

[Here2tellyouwhy]

Hurn can leg press Hamish Masten and the 2.5kg

 

[AsterixTheGaul]

Excellent thread. Looking towards more items from the Hammer.

Greg says OK for you to take the name The Hammer in AFL and boxing your brothers. In fact demands that the team chip in and pay any punching fines against either Angus or Andy.

 

[AsterixTheGaul]

Now matt_bas - I know you tried hard last year with Masto but it was painful reading at times. Thank goodness sensibility prevailed and for 2018 you have chosen a player that will allow you creative juices to run free. Just in time to put the Masto supporter trophy out for the November council pick up.

 

[avishka5]

Matt bas is slowly turning into dark sharks 2.0

 

[AsterixTheGaul]

Matt bas is slowly turning into dark sharks 2.0

Hi Avishka - thought you might like some help to get to your new site :-
https://www.bigfooty.com/forum/forums/st-kilda.22/

If you want to be a true Eagle, then dry your eyes, change your bloody avatar and get over it.

 

[avishka5]

Hi Avishka - thought you might like some help to get to your new site :-
https://www.bigfooty.com/forum/forums/st-kilda.22/

If you want to be a true Eagle, then dry your eyes, change your bloody avatar and get over it.

Was meant to change my av to Duggan and Sig but forgot to.

 

[matt_bas]

Wed 29/11/17
Dear Diary,
So after my last entry I sat down to smash my fav pizza for dinner, then I remembered I'm in Perrf no so o stopped to take a photo and upload it to Instabook.


After my upload which only took 45 because I'm on the new super fast NBN, I finally went to take a bite when suddenly there was a horrible stench. I thought to myself what the hell is that! There was a knock at the door and sure enough it was lil Brayshaw! Only been at Freo for a day and already smells like em! Anyways he was saying something about Cockburn and told him straight, 'Mate I warned you about shacking up with that Natalie Fyfe!' But you didn' listen! Your lucky you only have Cockburn and it didn't just explode!

Threw the smelly campaigner out and went and smashed my pizza. This morning I headed to training but Simmo called and said we better not over do it. We did 45 yesterday so today is just meetings. So i met them at Subway and we had a lunch meeting. I can confirm everyone bar Hurn had meat in their buns. Burns on some new age vegan diet. He said 'no meat will ever be in my buns!' Simmo started of the meeting by pulling put a whiteboard with the words 'How do you want to be remembered?' on it. Think it's a motivational thing he was trying. As Captain Hurn went 1st, gotta say I was shocked when he wrote Kind & Nice on it, but ok he is a vegan. Next Lycett wrote Great and Truthful...hmm now I've heard rumours of Lycett being a full blown cult religious person so ok. Next Masto writes Intellegent and helpful...


Thats it I thought so up I jumped and said Simmo I'm next!! Got up there and wrote campaigner and premiership player. I said your all a bunch of hipster, vegan eating, snap chat fruits. We're hear to win Premierships so the good folk on Big footy can talk about us! And you can't win one by being a vegan! You have to be a campaigner! I looked straight at Captain Hurn and said you mate are our leader so you better butter up those buns and put some meat in it cos you don't make friends with salad! Simmo got up and clapped me. That's why we drafted this campaigner. There all calling me the big C now. I guess it means Captain...
Hamish out.

 

[flamingEMBERS]

Now matt_bas - I know you tried hard last year with Masto but it was painful reading at times. Thank goodness sensibility prevailed and for 2018 you have chosen a player that will allow you creative juices to run free. Just in time to put the Masto supporter trophy out for the November council pick up.

He got the point by about round 11.

 

[Here2tellyouwhy]

Wed 29/11/17
Dear Diary,
So after my last entry I sat down to smash my fav pizza for dinner, then I remembered I'm in Perrf no so o stopped to take a photo and upload it to Instabook.
View attachment 441272

After my upload which only took 45 because I'm on the new super fast NBN, I finally went to take a bite when suddenly there was a horrible stench. I thought to myself what the hell is that! There was a knock at the door and sure enough it was lil Brayshaw! Only been at Freo for a day and already smells like em! Anyways he was saying something about Cockburn and told him straight, 'Mate I warned you about shacking up with that Natalie Fyfe!' But you didn' listen! Your lucky you only have Cockburn and it didn't just explode! View attachment 441273

Threw the smelly campaigner out and went and smashed my pizza. This morning I headed to training but Simmo called and said we better not over do it. We did 45 yesterday so today is just meetings. So i met them at Subway and we had a lunch meeting. I can confirm everyone bar Hurn had meat in their buns. Burns on some new age vegan diet. He said 'no meat will ever be in my buns!' Simmo started of the meeting by pulling put a whiteboard with the words 'How do you want to be remembered?' on it. Think it's a motivational thing he was trying. As Captain Hurn went 1st, gotta say I was shocked when he wrote Kind & Nice on it, but ok he is a vegan. Next Lycett wrote Great and Truthful...hmm now I've heard rumours of Lycett being a full blown cult religious person so ok. Next Masto writes Intellegent and helpful...
View attachment 441275

Thats it I thought so up I jumped and said Simmo I'm next!! Got up there and wrote campaigner and premiership player. I said your all a bunch of hipster, vegan eating, snap chat fruits. We're hear to win Premierships so the good folk on Big footy can talk about us! And you can't win one by being a vegan! You have to be a campaigner! I looked straight at Captain Hurn and said you mate are our leader so you better butter up those buns and put some meat in it cos you don't make friends with salad! Simmo got up and clapped me. That's why we drafted this campaigner. There all calling me the big C now. I guess it means Captain...
Hamish out.

Your attack on our fearless leader Hurn has got my attention.
Still don't know who Hamish is, though he sounds cute.

 

[RookiePick]

I'm really liking this new strategy of confining all your bullshit to one thread.

Possible sponsor of the year votes pending just based on this.

 

[matt_bas]

I'm really liking this new strategy of confining all your bullshit to one thread.

Possible sponsor of the year votes pending just based on this.

Clearly you haven' been in the numbers thread

 

[matt_bas]

Thirs 30/11/17
Dear Diary,
Can't talk tonight. Got on the piss with the boys after doing our 45s. Need to pass out now...hamish.

 

[Jiggyman]

Thirs 30/11/17
Dear Diary,
Can't talk tonight. Got on the piss with the boys after doing our 45s. Need to pass out now...hamish.

Mate where's your campaigner spirit

 

[matt_bas]

Fri 1/12/17
Dear Diary...
Not sure if I'm still alive this morning. I'l wind back the clock to let you know about what happened yesterday. Exciting day with us newbies being presented our jumpers. Mitchell got to give hos to Rioli, said all of our great small forward have worn this jumper, Mitchell, Brown and now you! Wellers gave out his, although took him a while to let go. Pridda was there to, although when he asked who wanted his everyone walked away, so the retired it. After we all got our jumpers Masto said were all going out for 'initiation and bondage', think he ment bonding. Hurn picked this place called sneaky Tonys, serves only Rum, my kind of place. Masto jumps up and says first rounds on me. He heads up to order drinks and all hell breaks loose. Slaps the bartender in the face and gets us kicked out! Rekons they refused to serve him strawberry daqueris. Said he's taking us to the only place in Perth they make em! Went into this club called connctions, and he bought us a round.


5 drinks later and things are getting messy, everyone at the club was really nice to us, they all must be fans. One guy even asked if he can lick my back...ok maybe that was a bit weird, must be from the south. Rioli kept telling everyone he could jump higher than Ryan and we all laughed. Haha. I told him he could roll faster than him but that's about it. So we had a bet. I stood on a table and pointed up. I said jump Willy, jump!

Fat campaigner got half way up before he fell on me. Passed out after that. Woke up this morning in a lot of pain with my injuries, Simmo gonna be pissed.


Got up to take a piss and found Willy.


Shit, late for training...get up Willy,
Hamish out.

 

[Eaglespur]

How long can Matty boy keep this trash up haha

 

[Here2tellyouwhy]

How long can Matty boy keep this trash up haha

Last year's Masten BS was relentless.
I started to believe he was Masto himself.

 

[matt_bas]

How long can Matty boy keep this trash up haha

I plan on a post everyday. Except Sundays. I have to go to church.

Last year's Masten BS was relentless.
I started to believe he was Masto himself.

I'm a method actor. I like to get into character. I also like to watch my players so I can become them. I watched Masto through his window for months. Too far?

 

[Here2tellyouwhy]

I plan on a post everyday. Except Sundays. I have to go to church.



I'm a method actor. I like to get into character. I also like to watch my players so I can become them. I watched Masto through his window for months. Too far?[/B]

Depends. Did you steal his underwear from the clothesline?

 

[matt_bas]

Sat 2/12/17
Dear Diary,
Spent the night at Leccas with a few of the boys watching the world cup draw. Was great, I didn't realise how multi cultural oir team was. The rivalry was strong last night Lecca (France) reckons they will smash us (Straya) in the group stages. Karpany (Peru) thinks they will be too quick for the strayians and Nic Nat (Denmark) is just happy his county's in the race.


Barrass (Italy) was gutted. They drew the hardesy group, along with Jetta (Netherlands), Gaff (US&A) and McGovern (Chile).


Off to training now. Gonna try a few 54s, apperently there the new 45s.
Peace, Hamish.