Has anyone actually ever seen Valente?

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Bigger

All Australian
Nov 9, 2001
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So, the mysterious Valente gets named for peel seniors, then all games are canceled..... 🤔🤔🤔
How far are they willing to go?

To what depths will they not sink?

Are they going for some sort of teasing record?

We heard them call out the name, all those years ago - "Pick 32 - Luke Valente" - and we began to believe. Sure, he's injured. Sure, he won't be available for some time, but he's very good. Apparently. Great in close, they said. A real leader. Kicks naturally both sides, they said.

LIKE A F^CKING UNICORN.


If the Fremantle Football Club were a woman, and I really do suspect she is, the foxy minx, the heavy-lidded temptress, then whatever game she is playing with this Valente nonsense needs to stop.

She has metaphorically placed the Valente handbag on the dancefloor and danced around it, slowly at first, just for herself, it seems. Small movements, slow movements, a hand reaching down a thigh here, a lazy flick of wayward hair there. Eyes lowered, getting lost in the music. My God, she is beyond thought or reason now. Just dancing like there is nothing left in the world but her and the music and a Valente handbag the only thing between you and her and -

FAAAAAARRRRRK. Let it end. Let the lies end.
 

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Bigger

All Australian
Nov 9, 2001
854
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Wait a minute. @lukevalente333?

Not @lukevalente29 like you would expect from an actual real life footballer with that number. No. @lukevalente333. A number he, or his creators, has specifically chosen.

So, we are compelled to ask, what then is the significance of 333?

Where to begin?

Apparently three is considered a good number in Chinese culture because it sounds like the word "alive" (生 pinyin shēng, Cantonese: saang). But 3 threes? Alive, alive, alive? Talk about protesteth too much.

Seem a bit like the "Paul is dead" conspiracy to you? Well, check this out:

.
Luke Valente


Paul McCartney


Jesus, of course, rose from the dead on the third day. Are we to expect a resurrection of sorts on the 333rd day? Well, too late, motherhumpers. It's been 2 ******* years so far.

Three is apparently the ASCII code of "End of Text". I don't even know what that means but it sounds pretty conclusive to me. Valente is beyond text. He is the end of text. Past meaning.

Three is the number of dimensions humans can perceive. Is this saying he is beyond human perception? Or just a very f^cking naughty boy?

Three is also the symbolic representation of Mu. A mythical continent I had never even heard of until I hit up Wikipedia for this sh*t.

There are way too many questions and far too few answers.

He is not real. He can not be real.
 

Cesoir

Club Legend
Feb 11, 2019
2,070
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AFL Club
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Wait a minute. @lukevalente333?

Not @lukevalente29 like you would expect from an actual real life footballer with that number. No. @lukevalente333. A number he, or his creators, has specifically chosen.

So, we are compelled to ask, what then is the significance of 333?

Where to begin?

Apparently three is considered a good number in Chinese culture because it sounds like the word "alive" (生 pinyin shēng, Cantonese: saang). But 3 threes? Alive, alive, alive? Talk about protesteth too much.

Seem a bit like the "Paul is dead" conspiracy to you? Well, check this out:

.
Luke Valente


Paul McCartney


Jesus, of course, rose from the dead on the third day. Are we to expect a resurrection of sorts on the 333rd day? Well, too late, motherhumpers. It's been 2 ******* years so far.

Three is apparently the ASCII code of "End of Text". I don't even know what that means but it sounds pretty conclusive to me. Valente is beyond text. He is the end of text. Past meaning.

Three is the number of dimensions humans can perceive. Is this saying he is beyond human perception? Or just a very f^cking naughty boy?

Three is also the symbolic representation of Mu. A mythical continent I had never even heard of until I hit up Wikipedia for this sh*t.

There are way too many questions and far too few answers.

He is not real. He can not be real.
Hope you are OK Bigger - perhaps this may help?

 

Bring back Drum

Mini Bus
Jul 8, 2019
2,192
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I can’t wait for the mid season draft when the Afl says “& Fremantle passes” & Belly goes “hang on campaigner, we’ve got a pick!”

Afl says “sorry Belly, you must be confused or can’t count little fella, your list is full”

Belly smugly comes back “Hahaha, nope, let me tell you a story.........”

Fukcen brilliant Belly.
 

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Megalon

Skills pay the bills
Jun 22, 2010
289
858
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This thread is reminding me of the classic thread, "Has anyone ever seen Viv Michie?"

Played 1 game for Freo but it was against Geelong at the cattery. Call out to anyone who was actually at that game, did you actually see him play??
 

Megalon

Skills pay the bills
Jun 22, 2010
289
858
Perth
AFL Club
Fremantle
Wait a minute. @lukevalente333?

Not @lukevalente29 like you would expect from an actual real life footballer with that number. No. @lukevalente333. A number he, or his creators, has specifically chosen.

So, we are compelled to ask, what then is the significance of 333?

Where to begin?

Apparently three is considered a good number in Chinese culture because it sounds like the word "alive" (生 pinyin shēng, Cantonese: saang). But 3 threes? Alive, alive, alive? Talk about protesteth too much.

Seem a bit like the "Paul is dead" conspiracy to you? Well, check this out:

.
Luke Valente


Paul McCartney


Jesus, of course, rose from the dead on the third day. Are we to expect a resurrection of sorts on the 333rd day? Well, too late, motherhumpers. It's been 2 ******* years so far.

Three is apparently the ASCII code of "End of Text". I don't even know what that means but it sounds pretty conclusive to me. Valente is beyond text. He is the end of text. Past meaning.

Three is the number of dimensions humans can perceive. Is this saying he is beyond human perception? Or just a very f^cking naughty boy?

Three is also the symbolic representation of Mu. A mythical continent I had never even heard of until I hit up Wikipedia for this sh*t.

There are way too many questions and far too few answers.

He is not real. He can not be real.
You need to sign up to write a match preview Bigger, for the benefit of all Fremantlekind.
 
Last edited:

ignoramus

Senior List
Aug 17, 2020
240
561
AFL Club
Fremantle
This thread title us starting to take on a new meaning if the stats sheet for today’s Peel game is anything to go by.

Anyone able to say what his tog was and where he spent it?
 

ImperialPurple

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May 26, 2003
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In the tuneful lyrics of Smokie circa mid-70s...

Looking real hard for Valente (Johnson? Who the fu** is Johnson?)
 

stax on the mull

Premiership Player
Dec 26, 2010
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Valente was wearing 38. and there was a player on the WC team called Johnson wearing the same number. Maybe Mitchell was going on memory or maybe he had a budget listed with a misprint.

Valente had some possessions and played a hand in getting the ball out a few times in the stoppages before Mitchell eventually called his name correctly (or realised he was calling him incorrectly) sometime late in the 2nd quarter.
 

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