Has anyone actually ever seen Valente?

[Pusswah]

Valiant? No wonder he keeps breaking down.

Hold on son, i'm not seeing any sick burnouts, flares or wicked sideburns.

Falsified Valiant sighting debunked.

 

[Tonga Bob]

I really hope you’re writing a match preview this season

There's some left if you're keen Bigger

 

[ImperialPurple]

Bigger = Bester.

 

[Big Animal]

I saw Valente after they finished the song yesterday in the rooms. Though it may also have been Duman. He was standing a bit back from the others on that fake grass, on a bit of a rise, just watching the others parade out.

 

[StingBitten]

A more perfect hiding spot you could not imagine. Where else would you hide an imaginary being but in a possibly fictitious football team no-one has ever seen.

"Peel Reserves" is, of course, an anagram of "Elve Presser" and we all know what that means.

It's fu**en fantasy land out there. Little woodland nymphs giving press conferences. Next you'll be telling me Peel's greatest son is a small, hairy-footed, horse-loving creature who is best friends with a giant.

Oh jesus my ribs.

 

[beetz]

Might be time to let the Valente dream go. The way the game is played now, his style may not be AFL standard. Obviously not the quickest bloke getting around.

 

[Joao]

Might be time to let the Valente dream go. The way the game is played now, his style may not be AFL standard. Obviously not the quickest bloke getting around.

Eh? It may well be time to let him go on account of him never being fit but how you got to say he isn't AFL standard when the dude never actually plays I don't know. Plenty of players that aren't fast in the AFL.

 

[Tonga Bob]

There's a theory going around that there was a second Valente behind the grassy knoll.

 

[Sully90]

At last, a confirmed sighting.

 

[Snuffaluphagus]

At last, a confirmed sighting.

Confirmed? By who? All I see is some propaganda from the club’s website

 

[Sully90]

Confirmed? By who? All I see is some propaganda from the club’s website

LooksmithersGabboiscoming.gif

 

[Mr Cheese]

When a player does hide / in the Peel Reserve side / that's Valente
If he kicks left and right / but always out of sight / that's Valente

He's not on the pitch / has he been cursed by a witch / up in Lathlain?
Have his legs fallen off / is our new physio boff / all in vai-ain?

Can he really play mid? / is he just being hid / a-wa-a-ay?
Can he touch, can he feel / Can he play for someone but Peel / one d-ay-ay?

If he turns out to be true / real just like me and you / and can play-ay
Well we'll shout out his name / when he does get a game / our Valente!

Our Valente!
Our Valente!

On SM-G955F using BigFooty.com mobile app

 

[Bigger]

Continuing to build. What's continuing to build is the tissue of LIES.

He is not real. I love it though that his greatest alleged accomplishment lately is to be unscathed.

--

Loving the sing-a-long, Cheese.

When he's rumours and lies, like that fat Santa guy
That's Valente!

When the world seems to shine, like you've smeared Vaseline
That's Valente!

Belly's pressers will ring, ting-a-ling-a-ling
Ting-a-ling-a-ling, and you'll sing, "Surely that's wrong?"
Hearts will play tippy-tippy-tay
Completely ghey, like the North Melbourne club song

 

[dropbear101]

it can be said Schrodinger put a cat into a box with poison that may or may not go off to demonstrate the dual nature of valente. hes both alive and dead.

 

[dropbear101]

open your eyes people.

hes the ultimate mystery. hes actually somehow connected to other great mysteries around the globe. such as were the pyramids built by aliens or luke excellente. can jet fuel melt steel beams or does a plane containing luke excellente become an unstoppable juggernaut. luke excellente is the cause of the Galileo's great lie; that the world is round.

its all connected

 

[dropbear101]

I cannot wait for his debut. freo dokers will do a post about hows hes been reborn and this is merely his second coming.

 

[DragoDelph]

Must just be taking some time for the powers of the #29 to properly transfer over.

 

[ImperialPurple]

If you look very closely you'll see Frederick is attempting to tackle thin air. The name is there, but it's actually a hologram, a Jedi mind trick if you will. Moving left to right, clearly the first figure is Michael Frederick, even though Valente is named first... so Donde está Luke Excelente?

 

[TheMcManusNose]

Recent sightings of a Chinese midget submarine may provide an answer to his whereabouts

 

[Tonga Bob]

 

[nurries]

View attachment 1103083
If you look very closely you'll see Frederick is attempting to tackle thin air. The name is there, but it's actually a hologram, a Jedi mind trick if you will. Moving left to right, clearly the first figure is Michael Frederick, even though Valente is named first... so Donde está Luke Excelente?

The ghosts you chase, you never catch

 

[Walkingwounded]

The ghosts you chase, you never catch

This is not the Luke Valente you are looking for.

Nek Minut

 

[ImperialPurple]

I would just like to bump this to say bloody good work to Bigger to have made something out of nothing.

Or is it nothing out of something?

Not many have the talent to achieve this in so little time in one single post. Salúd!


Edit: btw my sauces have told me straight swap the hologram for Heppell at the end of the year.

 

[DragoDelph]

More Freo media spin, trying to convince us of his existence.

The key for Valente

Justin Longmuir discusses what needs to go right for Luke Valente to earn an AFL debut.

www.fremantlefc.com.au

Not sure who did the tackling on the weekend, but it sure wasn't our mythical beast. he only took marks apparently

 

[CapitalA]

Must just be taking some time for the powers of the #29 to properly transfer over.

The sudden surge of power was overwhelming, so much so that any regular mortal man would have been instantly vaporized upon slipping on the 29. Valente is slowly attuning to that overwhelming power.