Commentators aren't there for you or I. Every football fan would do as good a job, if not better at analysis of the game itself.
They're there for their own amusement, and to capture the attention of the neutral/uninterested observer. Big, brash, BASIC.
A big story is easy to sell. That's why Judd is a superstar, Franklin used to be lazy but is now a selfless team player, Hawthorn are too slow, Geelong are the greatest ever, etc. Even when the actual facts don't support their argument, they will overlook them to find something that matches their pre-existing story.
One of the greatest parts of watching your team live is seeing the play unfolding, watching the strategies used to get players free downfield - seeing just how hard some players work off the ball. TV doesn't capture that, and probably never will.
Australian Rules is an amazing, chaotic and complex game - but TV is there to make it easily digestible, focusing on the lowest common denominator (general public), and simplifying to the point of idiocy.
We will never see nuanced commentary as it is not the aim of the broadcast.