He-Man and The MOTU

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I bought the collected mini-comic series. And spoiler alert, within the book they Interview one of the writers and he states

“understand that nothing about what I wrote for these minis struck me then, or now, as “inspired” I thought the toys were ugly and stupid”

That’s a bit harsh.

I remember the mini-comics being a lot like Tijuana Bibles, with overly-muscular characters named “Fisto”. Then to my horror I find the writers weren’t even trying.

This is déjà vu for me as I also watched “The toys who made us” and found the entire toy line was created after experimentation on small children - to find the optimal psycho-stimulation required to make children plastic-muscled addicts.

But anywho... anyone reading the new comic series? I hear the Evil Horde is back!
 

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I bought the collected mini-comic series. And spoiler alert, within the book they Interview one of the writers and he states

“understand that nothing about what I wrote for these minis struck me then, or now, as “inspired” I thought the toys were ugly and stupid”

That’s a bit harsh.

I remember the mini-comics being a lot like Tijuana Bibles, with overly-muscular characters named “Fisto”. Then to my horror I find the writers weren’t even trying.

This is déjà vu for me as I also watched “The toys who made us” and found the entire toy line was created after experimentation on small children - to find the optimal psycho-stimulation required to make children plastic-muscled addicts.

But anywho... anyone reading the new comic series? I hear the Evil Horde is back!
There’s going to be some cool characters that a writer will have some fun with, like Man-e-faces - who is an Eternia version of Edward Mordrake. Fisto would be a lot of fun to write. Dragstor ‘nuff said.

I’m kind of curious what they’re going to do with the useless characters in the book.

Like Mek-a-neck... unless He-Man is planning on getting stuck in a lot of hedge mazes... how can you write him into a book?

Mossman might be useful when Stinkor is around, but sans Stinkor and he’s just an oversized deodoriser. And considering their transportation, BattleBones, is open-air, he will have a hard time keeping that smelling fresh.

Snout Sprout... although spraying shit is cool with a toy, where are all the large pools of water on Snake Mountain?
 
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There’s going to be some cool characters that a writer will have some fun with, like Man-e-faces - who is an Eternia version of Edward Mordrake. Fisto would be a lot of fun to write. Dragstor ‘nuff said.

I’m kind of curious what they’re going to do with the useless characters in the book.

Like Mek-a-neck... unless He-Man is planning on getting stuck in a lot of hedge mazes... how can you write him into a book?

Mossman might be useful when Stinkor is around, but sans Stinkor and he’s just an oversized deodoriser. And considering their transportation, BattleBones, is open-air, he will have a hard time keeping that smelling fresh.

Snout Sprout... although spraying shit is cool with a toy, where are all the large pools of water on Snake Mountain?
Actually, on second thought, Mek-a-neck might have the advantage over Mantenna.

If the Evil Horde and a group of He-Man’s buddies all get stuck in a hedge maze at the same time, my money is on Mek-a-neck getting out He-Man’s buddies before Mantenna can get out the Evil Horde.

Evil Horde wouldn’t stand a chance.
 
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Actually, on second thought, Mek-a-neck might have the advantage over Mantenna.

If the Evil Horde and a group of He-Man’s buddies all get stuck in a hedge maze at the same time, my money is on Mek-a-neck getting out He-Man’s buddies before Mantenna can get out the Evil Horde.

Evil Horde wouldn’t stand a chance.
Mek-a-neck would have to sidestep all the way though, because you had to twist him to make his head go up... he’s so godamn useless
 

RolandF1

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I bought the collected mini-comic series. And spoiler alert, within the book they Interview one of the writers and he states

“understand that nothing about what I wrote for these minis struck me then, or now, as “inspired” I thought the toys were ugly and stupid”

That’s a bit harsh.

I remember the mini-comics being a lot like Tijuana Bibles, with overly-muscular characters named “Fisto”. Then to my horror I find the writers weren’t even trying.
The episode of 'Toys that made us' deals with the background of the minicomics. In summary they were a spur of the moment idea by one of the marketing guys who were trying to convince a toy store chain to stock their action figures and the store were looking for something unique.

There was no established lore about He Man etc at that stage. That came later with Filmation.

Many story writers of that era pumped out stories without any real attempt to provide meaning to their output. It was just a way to earn a living. Staff Disney writers of Tv etc are/were the same.
 
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The episode of 'Toys that made us' deals with the background of the minicomics. In summary they were a spur of the moment idea by one of the marketing guys who were trying to convince a toy store chain to stock their action comics and the store were looking for something unique.

There was no established lore about He Man etc at that stage. That came later with Filmation.

Many story writers of that era pumped out stories without any real attempt to provide meaning to their output. It was just a way to earn a living. Staff Disney writers of Tv etc are/were the same.
Don’t get me wrong I have nothing against the writers, if truth be told I dip myself in a bath full of disinfectant after a day at work, in an attempt to wash off the “used” and “violated” feeling I have.

These are very talented writers who were asked to create Tijuana Bibles so a few kids could have a moment of escapism from the existential monotony of their existence.

I remember reading about a talented comic writer and artist who could only make his bread from creating stone-age porn comics, and the boredom and waste of his talent led him to draw pictures of non-avian dinosaurs having sex in the background of these comics. You might be wondering why non-avian dinosaurs are still around in the Stone Age, but I was wondering how a brontosaurus could be having sex with a triceratops, considering that the taxonomic classification of “brontosaurus” was based on fossil remains of two previously recognised dinosaur taxa (as I understand it).

But anywho, this demonstrates something. For other, less talented people to get their rocks off (unless masturbation becomes an Olympic sport) some very talented careers are wasted. Like a used and violated Kleenex tissue.

But even still, He-Man and The Masters of the Universe shaped who I am as a person today. Much like other people would state Catholicism did for them. My friends and I would debate the complex mythology of MOTU in much the same way as theologians would debate the existence of a divine being. You could imagine my horror in finding out that the whole mythology was brutishly created so an institution, Mattel, could make some munny...
 
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Mek-a-neck would have to sidestep all the way though, because you had to twist him to make his head go up... he’s so godamn useless
Ok... people are going to think I stole the idea that Mek-a-neck was useless by reading the 3rd volume of He-Man and The MOTU by DC comics. But I swear I figured this out all by myself!

Here’s an extract from the book

Teela - “Mekaneck?! You have got to be kidding me! Half a dozen of the Masters of the Universe manage to make it here and one of them is Mekaneck?!”

Man-at-arms - “Teela, what has Mekaneck ever done to you?”

Teela - “It’s nothing personal, it’s just... if we’re going to be fighting off whoever those clowns are, did it have to be Mekaneck who makes it here?”

He-Man - “You can’t be implying that he should have- -“

Teela - “He stretches his neck! Couldn’t it have been someone with... oh, I don’t know... a useful talent!?”
 

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