Remove this Banner Ad

Heavy "d" We Should -

🥰 Love BigFooty? Join now for free.

Where's the option to harpoon him?

I voted to charge him with impersonating a footballer - however we could "sack" him in a way that doesn't cost the club a payout...

Gather 'round and listen.

I reckon we pay a huge extended family of Mozambiquan refugees about 3 cents a day to weave an enormous hessian sack, lure Heavy D out of Taylors Lakes KFC by placing a book of Hungry Jack's vouchers next to a box of nuggets (fished out of the bin) in the carpark... then WHAM!!! - club him on the head like you'd club a baby fur seal, and throw the hessian circus tent over his body (might require some scaffolding and a crane to do this). Tie a rope to his ankle, and tie the other end to a freight train, which will need all the coal in the Latrobe Valley to push itself to the quarries in North Sunshine (hey, it's the closest quarry), where his body will be dumped and buried. Offer the Mozambiquan refugees another week's worth of work at 3 cents a day, to bury him, making sure no fat folds or boobs are left hanging out.
To recoup the 3 cents a day, open up a tourist park on the site, with the signage outside denoting Australia's highest mountain and highlighting its unusual dome shape.
 

Log in to remove this Banner Ad

Darky, You either have

1 - To much time on your hands
2 - Were drunk
3 - Were on some sort of drug

to come up with something like that. How does something like that come into ones head. :D :D :D
 
Originally posted by choppy
Darky, You either have

1 - To much time on your hands
2 - Were drunk
3 - Were on some sort of drug

to come up with something like that. How does something like that come into ones head. :D :D :D

...all of the above, perhaps? ;)

great stuff Darky, keep it up :D
 
Originally posted by The Rewboy
Save a whale.............harpoon a Calthorpe!!

You'd also be saving about 20 species of farm animals, but putting heaps of pimply-faced teenagers out of a $6.50-an-hour job. Hmm... maybe the S11 and M1 rent-a-crowd should have picketed ouside Heavy D's house on those two days if they were fair dinkum.
 
YES I HAVE Darky, when I first met you at Whitten Oval for that practice match. Didn't get 'peep' outta you!

You later told me you don't talk much when you are sober....... :eek:
 

Remove this Banner Ad

Send him on a 3000km run - straight to the Dockers HQ's and he can become Modra's whipping boy. OOOOHHH AHHHH MODDSS, YOUR TERRRIFFIC!!!! :eek: :) :eek: :)


PLEASE NOTE: When the Shermanator isn't writing posts on this forum you can catch him trying to become a millionaire overnight - he is looking to buy a McDonalds franchise next door to D. Calthorpe's place ASAP.
 
As good as Darky I idea was, he failed to recognize the value Heavy D has to the world wide society. I think Heavy D should be towed out to sea and sunk just off the coast of one of the smaller South Pacific islands. With water levels rising around the world, the South Pacific needs a place for all the poor islanders to live because in a hundred years or so they will be living knee deep in water.
Inside a hundred or so I'm sure Heavy D would have decomposed enough for new vegetation to grow on him, creating a very healthy and furtile land mass that could sustain the entire islander population and probably New Zealands as well.
Of course the only negative I can see to this is by sinking him now, we may in fact raise the water level of the entire Pacific Ocean by around a metre or so, drowing the poor sods.
 
Well, Heavy D probably has the greatest skin surface area of any living creature on earth, so why don't we put him to sleep (okay, enough euphanisms, let's just kill him), scrape out all the body parts thus leaving his skin. So, we take him to the South Pole where we then fill him up with helium and float him up the atmosphere where his body space should be enough to block up the hole in the ozone layer.
 

🥰 Love BigFooty? Join now for free.

Originally posted by Shinboners
Well, Heavy D probably has the greatest skin surface area of any living creature on earth, so why don't we put him to sleep (okay, enough euphanisms, let's just kill him), scrape out all the body parts thus leaving his skin. So, we take him to the South Pole where we then fill him up with helium and float him up the atmosphere where his body space should be enough to block up the hole in the ozone layer.

Where are you going to pump out all the methane that's inside him now? I don't want to die just yet. :(
 
Maybe we can use the methane as some kind of chemical weapon. Maybe threaten the USA or China or France or any Nuclear country that we now have the worlds most destructive weapon.

OR

We can use the methane to power our generators. Surely Heavy D has enough methane to provide Australia with free electricity for at least a thousand years.
 
Doc, I have been laughing my arse off for a few hours now but have finally settled on the following:

WAIT TILL THE VFL GRAND FINAL THEN DROP HIM LIKE DERRICK KICKETT

Purely because this is how much faith I have of the Murray Kangaroos making the VFL grandfinal. And your comparison to D Kickett is a pissser.
 

Remove this Banner Ad

Heavy "d" We Should -

🥰 Love BigFooty? Join now for free.

Back
Top