Family & Relationships Hosting

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Silent Alarm

sack Lyon
10k Posts
Jul 9, 2010
24,163
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Fremantle
I've always thought I was a decent host. As a kid it was the whole 'you want a drink, we only have water, but it's cold...' or 'want some chips?' As I got older I was always made sure the fridge was stocked, usually made sure to cook up a good tea, whatever.

But at the flipside of this is that if you stay at someone's house – few nights, few weeks – you reciprocate. You're getting free accomodation, a homely vibe, proper sleeps, and even if your host is working they'll always help you out with things to eat and see that you might not have. It is, or I thought it was, expected that you return the favour. If you've got no money, buy and cook tea a couple of times. If you're travelling, shout them a meal. Always clean up.

Yet this seems to be dying out.

People religiously crashing on your floor and not rocking up with a carton, people staying for two weeks and barely even going halvies in a counter meal. I'm currently at someone else's joint and a friend of a friend is here for two nights. It's a tight squeeze but my host is pretty generous. They haven't even come down and said hi, they're always locked in their room, and they've just pissed off down the Queen Victoria Markets and they've offered to grab some wines for tonight... and I just realised, they're not even paying for it! They've taken said host's card, which was left there as a bit of a token gesture. For *'s *in sake, what the hell is wrong with people?

A host should offer but the lodger should always be the one who actually brings something to the table.

Jesus.

Have you ever been ripped off? Do you generally disagree with this idea? Ever had someone stay too long?
 
May 5, 2006
62,726
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West Coast
Good thread.

I've let a mate stay before when I was away. Had a few beers in the fridge and some bottles of wine, so like a good bloke said help yourself etc. in the expectation that he might have a beer or two or some wine but if he went to town he'd think 'I'll replace that' (like a normal person). Came back and he cleaned out everything and said nothing like that was normal.

The * is wrong with people?

Also had a friend of a friend house sit for a bit. Deal was that they just could rent a room and get the whole house to themselves for the time I was gone. Just pay any power/water bills that come in while I'm gone and stuff like the internet is on direct debit so don't worry about it. Pretty fair in my book. All I asked was that they keep the lawn and garden alive since it was Summer. Get back and the backyard looks like the Sahara. FFS. Seriously you could over water your garden in Perth every single day for the 3 months of Summer and it would cost tens of dollars.

I've usually got most things on hand anyway (beer in the fridge, some wine in the cupboard etc) but if I'm having people over I'll make sure I have stuff to offer them. Milk for tea/coffee, maybe some soft drink or juice, some snacks... really not that hard to organise.
 

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Silent Alarm

sack Lyon
10k Posts
Jul 9, 2010
24,163
26,535
AFL Club
Fremantle
A mate of mine lived in Denmark for a while and survived off a one-off, 10 hour shift every week in a veggie store and a few couches in student housing. Anyway a mate of his came back to Perth and was at his for probably a week. Classic stingey campaigner European backpacker – no money, three pieces of clothing on rotation, not a cent short on confidence.

One day, my mate said he was going down the beach and if he could park at my folks. Yeah of course. So we walk down, sit there for a few hours, we went back to mine and doled out the last four or five stubbies in the fridge. Said scunge then knocks off his last one, walks into the fridge and goes 'oh... don't you have anymore? Can yew go to tha superm-ah-ket?' Silly rude bastard.

My mate said that after a few days on the fold out, he has asked his parents if they'd mind him using their bed for a night or two because his back was sore.

You'd just kick the campaigner out, wouldn't you?
 
Sep 22, 2011
40,578
87,829
Your girlfriend's dreams
AFL Club
Essendon
I've always thought I was a decent host. As a kid it was the whole 'you want a drink, we only have water, but it's cold...' or 'want some chips?' As I got older I was always made sure the fridge was stocked, usually made sure to cook up a good tea, whatever.

But at the flipside of this is that if you stay at someone's house – few nights, few weeks – you reciprocate. You're getting free accomodation, a homely vibe, proper sleeps, and even if your host is working they'll always help you out with things to eat and see that you might not have. It is, or I thought it was, expected that you return the favour. If you've got no money, buy and cook tea a couple of times. If you're travelling, shout them a meal. Always clean up.

Yet this seems to be dying out.

People religiously crashing on your floor and not rocking up with a carton, people staying for two weeks and barely even going halvies in a counter meal. I'm currently at someone else's joint and a friend of a friend is here for two nights. It's a tight squeeze but my host is pretty generous. They haven't even come down and said hi, they're always locked in their room, and they've just pissed off down the Queen Victoria Markets and they've offered to grab some wines for tonight... and I just realised, they're not even paying for it! They've taken said host's card, which was left there as a bit of a token gesture. For ****'s ****in sake, what the hell is wrong with people?

A host should offer but the lodger should always be the one who actually brings something to the table.

Jesus.

Have you ever been ripped off? Do you generally disagree with this idea? Ever had someone stay too long?

Wait... this person is hosting a “friend of a friend”... the guest stays locked in their room... and the host leaves out a credit card for purchasing alcohol??

Where is this, I want to stay there
 
Apr 2, 2013
10,969
16,328
AFL Club
Collingwood
Never hosted long term in the sense I've had people house sit or stay for extended periods. If their round have something to offer be as clean as possible and you can't go wrong.

Flip side of the coin is I don't really like being in someones space for too long. Again clean up your stuff, replace what you take etc but unless its close family I'd sooner stay at a hotel or something if I was in that position/holidays. Can't really relax otherwise.

Also part of the reason when a member of the fairer sex is on the scene I always prefer away rather than home. That way I can leave when I want and not have to worry about hosting/getting them to leave.
 
Feb 6, 2013
55,091
106,150
Locker #5
AFL Club
Carlton
Good thread.

I've let a mate stay before when I was away. Had a few beers in the fridge and some bottles of wine, so like a good bloke said help yourself etc. in the expectation that he might have a beer or two or some wine but if he went to town he'd think 'I'll replace that' (like a normal person). Came back and he cleaned out everything and said nothing like that was normal.

The **** is wrong with people?

Also had a friend of a friend house sit for a bit. Deal was that they just could rent a room and get the whole house to themselves for the time I was gone. Just pay any power/water bills that come in while I'm gone and stuff like the internet is on direct debit so don't worry about it. Pretty fair in my book. All I asked was that they keep the lawn and garden alive since it was Summer. Get back and the backyard looks like the Sahara. FFS. Seriously you could over water your garden in Perth every single day for the 3 months of Summer and it would cost tens of dollars.

I've usually got most things on hand anyway (beer in the fridge, some wine in the cupboard etc) but if I'm having people over I'll make sure I have stuff to offer them. Milk for tea/coffee, maybe some soft drink or juice, some snacks... really not that hard to organise.
HBF's sister house sat for him once and drank every drop of alcohol, even the stale red wine he used for cooking.
 

Thegibbsgamble

I beg to meg
Oct 28, 2017
5,601
3,259
AFL Club
Adelaide
These vampires are the first to make threads on social media about how everyone sponges of them.

You know the psychology of domestic Violence when your partner accuses you of cheating with no basis to thier allegation. They're in fact the cheater and projecting

It's sad but it's true. When you've been on social media long enough you see this attention getting for what it is.
 
Apr 2, 2013
10,969
16,328
AFL Club
Collingwood
I figure I have always been good at taking the hint.

But what do you do when someone just refuses to leave? A polite suggestion? Leave on your way yourself? Or just flat out lie?
 
Apr 6, 2005
24,235
17,581
La Côte d'Azur
AFL Club
Richmond
Other Teams
Everton FC
Im in this situation right now. I have a friend staying with us since last monday and weve let him have his own loft apartment here.. Its about a 80m2 Loft style apartment that has everything you need. I figured he didnt have much money before he arrived, but anyway... He never said how long he was coming for but I know he's starting a job in the Alps next week, but we fly out sunday for a holiday.

So he said he will cook for us and all that. I took him to the supermarket last week when I had to do some shopping and twice I asked him if there was anything he needed(thinking he was going to cook). In the end he just cooked frozen stuff from the summer that was still in the fridge. He's been drinking my beers and smoking my weed all week and not once has put his hand in his pocket. He's a good mate and Ive accepted it but yesterday I told him he has to leave before wednesday as the housekeeper needs to clean the room as the boss is coming next week.

He's lived in absolute luxury for the last week, but what was he thinking when he accepted the invite, but never mentioned that he has no money... I presume he has none as he's never gone for his wallet.
 

utility

Brownlow Medallist
Sep 26, 2003
11,467
8,654
Melbourne
AFL Club
North Melbourne
I've hosted a number of people from overseas, some who I've never met. I don't expect anything in return, though don't leave open ended invitations. I like to show them a good time when they are in town. If I'm going to someone's place for a meal I'll offer to bring something - drinks, desserts, etc.

I was just in the USA on a short band tour, ended up crashing at three different houses of band members, one unplanned in New York. I always like to carry token gifts as appreciation. The guy in NYC had a 5 year-old so I gave him a toy koala, and gave him and his missus some Australian chocolates. He offered to pay for my taxi to the airport but I knocked it back as I didn't feel comfortable with the offer.
 

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