Family & Relationships How do you guys move on?

[Oraz]

Was with my girlfriend for a few years she was my first love but she left me i feel like shit.
I been out with my mates before the lockdown and had a few beers and hooked up with some girls but it didn't make me feel better.
I had a hard time and i was looking at her social media and saw her with a new guy he is buff so i blocked her and knew i should never look again
peple tell me time heals and shit but it's been quite some time since we broke up and i still miss her sometimes
i'm trying the online dating apps but they are pretty garbage

people say i'll find someone better and crap like that but i doubt it she was a great girlfriend i just took her for granted.

 

[Caesar]

Look back but don’t stare

Keep yourself busy by investing your time and energy into stuff that will make your life happier and more productive today and into the future

If you’re excited about the future, you won’t miss the past too much - no matter how great it was

 

[undefined]

1) Don't fight the pain;
2) Eat healthy & exercise, even if you don't feel like it;
3) Be ignorant - block all contact from her. Sorry you had to see her with that new bloke.

Finally, you need to accept that the only true healer is time. It'll get easier as life moves on, mate. I promise.

 

[Off The Couch]

Go through the stages - it’s okay to feel hurt.
Spend time alone - don’t go jumping into a new relationship until you’ve dropped off all the baggage.
Don’t just block, also delete
Find something you’ve always wanted to do but haven’t been able to and dive right in
Good luck - you won’t forget and time may not heal but you will move on

 

[craigos]

Was with my girlfriend for a few years she was my first love but she left me i feel like sh*t.
I been out with my mates before the lockdown and had a few beers and hooked up with some girls but it didn't make me feel better.
I had a hard time and i was looking at her social media and saw her with a new guy he is buff so i blocked her and knew i should never look again
peple tell me time heals and sh*t but it's been quite some time since we broke up and i still miss her sometimes
i'm trying the online dating apps but they are pretty garbage

people say i'll find someone better and crap like that but i doubt it she was a great girlfriend i just took her for granted.

Don't look back in anger.

 

[perthblue]

Accept that you'll feel like shit for a while and then after a while you'll feel less like shit.

Nothing hits quite as hard as that first heartbreak but as long as you keep your head up you'll get through it. There have been some good suggestions here already but try and limit internet/screen time for a while and spend as much time outdoors as possible.

 

[Golden_6]

As others have said, delete her from all social media. Out of sight, out of mind and it will help you resist the temptation to check out what she has been up to.

It does get better, sometimes the only thing that works it time but it does improve.

 

[Quivorir]

Does she have a sister?

 

[Gough]

Self medication.

 

[GreyCrow]

Today you woke up and she was the 1st thing you thought of
Tomorrow will be the same


Until one day she will be the 2nd thing you think of

Thats when the healing has started

 

[utility]

Keep busy... by banging as many women as possible. After a dozen or so you won't even remember her name.

But seriously, keep busy with things you enjoy and meet other women.

 

[LiterallyNobody]

Take some time out for yourself. How old are you? I presume you’re in 20’s yeah? When I was 20 or so and broke up with a girl I’d been with for a year I amused myself with video games and did stuff for me. Went camping, bought cds and books for myself. Focused on making me happy. Ever since then the relationships I’ve had have been more stable and I’ve had more confidence.

also don’t be in a hurry to get back out there. Do it in your own time.

I split up with my ex wife in December 2014 and played the field for a bit (as I didn’t get the opportunity to do this in my 20’s due to being in a long term relationship from 21 until we divorced) but didn’t settle down for real until almost 12 months later.

I’ve battled depression on and off for the last seven years but I am in a good state now. It takes time to heal but you’ll get there. All the best.

 

[Plugger35]

Don't look back in anger.

Cigarettes & Alcohol helps as well.

Oasis got me through a few break ups in the 90s.

 

[Run n Spread]

Was with my girlfriend for a few years she was my first love but she left me i feel like sh*t.
I been out with my mates before the lockdown and had a few beers and hooked up with some girls but it didn't make me feel better.
I had a hard time and i was looking at her social media and saw her with a new guy he is buff so i blocked her and knew i should never look again
peple tell me time heals and sh*t but it's been quite some time since we broke up and i still miss her sometimes
i'm trying the online dating apps but they are pretty garbage

people say i'll find someone better and crap like that but i doubt it she was a great girlfriend i just took her for granted.

How old are you???
You sound 20s?
Move on. It sucks your hurt your down on confidence and hey you probably did nothing wrong but she just didn't feel it.
Go and live your life. You can still find what works for you and live on your own terms. You need to decide what you stand for and what you enjoy and do that. Build your own life and pathway and than attract the right people and women into your life.
Use the opportunity to take some time out.
Granted the world's gone nuts and we are being run by ****wits but determine your life and do it.

 

[Hawk Dork]

My mate was married for 28 years
he is doing better now in his 60s than he did in his 20s
Its a big world, things change,theres lots of interesting things just around the next corner

 

[74561347]

send packages of poo to her house

 

[Over The Post]

send packages of poo to her house

Not your best work, 47.

I split from my mrs after we'd been together for 34 years. I was in a bad place, made worse by several other factors. If any of those factors had been properly addressed at the time, the split wouldn't have happened.

My self-esteem was at absolutely rock bottom and I hit the dating websites almost straight away, I think to prove to myself that someone out there could still want someone like me. Met a fantastic woman and had a marvellous three months until she decided I was too much like her ex. We remained friends and often chatted on facebook etc until she got someone else. I had to unfriend her as it got too painful and I was kinda hoping they'd break up so I could have another chance. Not healthy.

Next one a couple of months later was seemingly brilliant, until the controlling, emotional and intellectual abuse started. Went through the whole range of "I'm not good enough for her" "I'm not worth anything" "I'm so shit I deserve this." Fifteen months later I walked out. Don't ever buy the official bullshit that domestic violence is purely male on female. That was four and a half years ago and I've lived by myself (and haven't had a root) since. It gets lonely but I'm content to wait until I'm ready on my terms to go looking again. That's if there isn't a bolt of lightning and a mutual "holy shit" moment that changes my opinion.

It hurts. Hurts like hell. But do not try to shortcut the grieving process (which is exactly what it is - you are grieving for a relationship that died). Try to resist the any-port-in-a-storm rebound relationship. Of course you miss her, you wouldn't be human if you didn't. You almost certainly won't get her back, and if you do, it won't be anything like the first time around. So chill out, break all contact, take the time to get over her. It'll be a crap time but later you'll be glad you did.

I recommend that you be the "safe guy" in your social group. Chicks love guys who aren't (overtly) only interested in getting into their pants. Be in the good friendzone, not the involuntary one. You'll learn a lot more about women and with time something may develop.

There! That's my advice, and it is worth exactly what you paid for it. You are you, you have to live your life, all we can do is pass on our own experiences of our own lives and sometimes there may be parallels with yours. Good luck young padawan.

 

[74561347]

Not your best work, 47.

im surprisingly single.

 

[Over The Post]

im unsurprisingly single.

efa

 

[craigos]

Don't be afraid to reach out to different professionals as well.

Your GP can refer you to a Psychologist.
Someone here can probably refer you to a good gym/personal trainer.
Someone here can probably refer you to a good prostitute.

There's no shame in using qualified people to help you get through this.

 

[William Wonka]

Was with my girlfriend for a few years she was my first love but she left me i feel like sh*t.
I been out with my mates before the lockdown and had a few beers and hooked up with some girls but it didn't make me feel better.
I had a hard time and i was looking at her social media and saw her with a new guy he is buff so i blocked her and knew i should never look again
peple tell me time heals and sh*t but it's been quite some time since we broke up and i still miss her sometimes
i'm trying the online dating apps but they are pretty garbage

people say i'll find someone better and crap like that but i doubt it she was a great girlfriend i just took her for granted.

'In the long run there is always another one like the other one'.

You will barely remember what she looked like in 10 years

 

[edgie]

Never chase your losses.
Never substitute them either.

Accept that some things will remind you of her for a while still, that can't be helped. Avoiding those things might make it worse.

If you minimise your exposure to her as much as possible it doesn't matter what else you do. Negative feelings will fall away and in time you'll be right.

Also if she's hot and you've got nudes than beat yourself stupid. Purge the system.


Sent from my Nokia 7.2 using Tapatalk

 

[aucklandhawk]

Never broken up with any person I have dated but have been "dumped" somewhere around 6 times. Last girl spat in my face at a family bbq and I was over it by the time Dad served up the burnt sausages.

 

[edgie]

Never broken up with any person I have dated but have been "dumped" somewhere around 6 times. Last girl spat in my face at a family bbq and I was over it by the time Dad served up the burnt sausages.

After a few times it becomes less upsetting than watching the footy.

Sent from my Nokia 7.2 using Tapatalk

 

[Big Bryza]

Was with my girlfriend for a few years she was my first love but she left me i feel like sh*t.
I been out with my mates before the lockdown and had a few beers and hooked up with some girls but it didn't make me feel better.
I had a hard time and i was looking at her social media and saw her with a new guy he is buff so i blocked her and knew i should never look again
peple tell me time heals and sh*t but it's been quite some time since we broke up and i still miss her sometimes
i'm trying the online dating apps but they are pretty garbage

people say i'll find someone better and crap like that but i doubt it she was a great girlfriend i just took her for granted.

Most of us have probably been there at some stage mate. Keep yourself busy, hang out with your mates and family. Go to the gym, work, study, whatever it may be that you're bettering yourself for your future.

The old saying is, time heals all wounds and having been there myself, I can attest to this.

You'll be right and before you know it, you'll be smashing the dating scene and loving life.