Family & Relationships How do you guys move on?
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It's going to hurt emotionally for a while, try not to cover it up with excessive drinking or recreational drug use.
Find a couple of things to focus on that you didn't get time to do during the relationship but wanted to, be it something daily like exercise (running, cycling, team sports) or something like skydiving or a road trip. If you're able to keep yourself distracted in a positive way it helps you when you come out the other side.
Also I'd try and avoid dating for the next 2-3 months. Others may disagree, but trying to jump back into another relationship so soon before you've had a chance to heal from your previous one isn't something you should be looking do. By all means enjoy being single again, but realise that it's a temporary solution and ultimately you've got to work on yourself to get the best outcome.
Find a couple of things to focus on that you didn't get time to do during the relationship but wanted to, be it something daily like exercise (running, cycling, team sports) or something like skydiving or a road trip. If you're able to keep yourself distracted in a positive way it helps you when you come out the other side.
Also I'd try and avoid dating for the next 2-3 months. Others may disagree, but trying to jump back into another relationship so soon before you've had a chance to heal from your previous one isn't something you should be looking do. By all means enjoy being single again, but realise that it's a temporary solution and ultimately you've got to work on yourself to get the best outcome.
Drugs and alcohol are not the answer
From personal experience it is too easy to hide in a bottle wanting it to stop
What worked for me was getting back to something that my ex had decided had to go
So look for the hobby, pastime you had that she stopped
See if it is still something you are interested in
If so go back
From personal experience it is too easy to hide in a bottle wanting it to stop
What worked for me was getting back to something that my ex had decided had to go
So look for the hobby, pastime you had that she stopped
See if it is still something you are interested in
If so go back
- Apr 27, 2008
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Drugs and alcohol aren't the answer but neither is rooting around. People never talk about that as much though being a bad idea.
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- #30
Thanks for all the responses guys already feeling each day and just pushing thoughts about her out of my head..
question how long does it take for you to forget her / forget the feelings? or is it always there in way?
question how long does it take for you to forget her / forget the feelings? or is it always there in way?
Not the answer you want mate but you never completely forget them
This person was a large parrt of your life for years so the memories will be there
But it gets to the point that you will move on
No set time on this as we are all different
Just concentrate on yourself and do not shut yourself off from the world
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cheers thanks mate, its sshame with covid and being isolated and having these thoughts
aucklandhawk
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If you listen to most of the advice and deleted all evidence of her existence, maybe a month or two. Keep photos, messages and any reminder of them and it could be a long time. If you didn't share a child with this person, as cold as it sounds, then get rid of any reminder of them. It serves no purpose.
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i doubt ill forget her in a month if i loved her lol
oh well thanks tho
aucklandhawk
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Sorry bro, didn't mean it to come across that cold. I mean you will move on quicker if you don't dwell on it. I've been there where I have read every old message I had, every nice picture we shared, every dirty event we filmed etc etc.
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yep im there now.. still looking at things like that but now i stopped and already i feel better.. i dont think ill forget but just try and bury it
Dav
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you might not ever forget her or the feelings but eventually you'll reach a point where you realise you haven't thought about her in days, and then weeks, and then months and then eventually it's just something you'll reflect back on from time to time when you're older
Hey OP, there are some good posts on this similar content thread:
Perfect long term relationships that go sour | BigFooty
Perfect long term relationships that go sour | BigFooty
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That's what your first love will do to you, make you feel like you'll never get anyone better
If you took her granted she wasn't your one most probably
Only time and other girls can help you through it
If you took her granted she wasn't your one most probably
Only time and other girls can help you through it
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There's many great girls out there mate. Keep reminding yourself of that.
Don't try and make something out of nothing with someone else, it will happen when the time is right when the right person presents themselves.
Use your previous relationship as a learning experience so next time, you don't make the same mistakes or have the same regrets again.
Like many have already said, move forward with your life, look for ways to better yourself or focus on things you are interested in.
Focus on doing things that will put you in situations where you will be meeting new people. Look for a group you can join.
And if you feel you need to, don't be afraid to speak with a professional. This can make a big difference.
And remember NO ONE is perfect. And there's nothing to suggest that this buffed bloke is necessarily going to end up any better than you were long term.
Don't try and make something out of nothing with someone else, it will happen when the time is right when the right person presents themselves.
Use your previous relationship as a learning experience so next time, you don't make the same mistakes or have the same regrets again.
Like many have already said, move forward with your life, look for ways to better yourself or focus on things you are interested in.
Focus on doing things that will put you in situations where you will be meeting new people. Look for a group you can join.
And if you feel you need to, don't be afraid to speak with a professional. This can make a big difference.
And remember NO ONE is perfect. And there's nothing to suggest that this buffed bloke is necessarily going to end up any better than you were long term.
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Talk to someone.
Do the things you've always wanted to do, but never had the chance to do while you were in a relationship
Go out, but make it your goal to just have fun and don't worry about meeting someone. Put yourself out there with confidence and it'll happen. Just go with the flow.
If possible, block and delete the ex from social media and your life.
Time heals all wounds.
Do the things you've always wanted to do, but never had the chance to do while you were in a relationship
Go out, but make it your goal to just have fun and don't worry about meeting someone. Put yourself out there with confidence and it'll happen. Just go with the flow.
If possible, block and delete the ex from social media and your life.
Time heals all wounds.
They get up my arse and I always lose you in the crowd.
aucklandhawk
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The best way to get over a girl is to get under another.
Anyone remember the old timers and their sayings like this? More cushion for the pushin' was another terrible one I remember.
Anyone remember the old timers and their sayings like this? More cushion for the pushin' was another terrible one I remember.
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Don't mean to be cynical mate, but the reason a woman leaves a man is because:
Women think that their man will change but they don't
Men think women will stay the same but they don't
Be you, live your life, if someone wants in on that, party...if not, all good, a woman is not the panacea to your existence...
Women think that their man will change but they don't
Men think women will stay the same but they don't
Be you, live your life, if someone wants in on that, party...if not, all good, a woman is not the panacea to your existence...
aucklandhawk
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Most of them are quite misogynistic, lets be honest. Not saying I never found them funny though.
peternorth
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Time is infinite.
But remember, in the immortal words of the stones
it will always be there - time and feelings. it subsides, it definitely does. cliches like youll be stronger for it, you'll come out the other side etc ensue....and though cliches should be avoided like the plague, there is truth to them.
if it helps, post here, ask questions like you're doing now. you are amongst friends
