How does Caro get her scoops?

[The Hippie]

Now, the footy world has been wondering how USC got the inside scoop on Blighty getting the bullet from ST Kilda before anyone else and it got me wondering, how does she get her stories?, apart from a vivid imagination?

My theory is this: she gets an unsuspecting subject to say yes to an interview and then when the 'interview' is about to start, she suddenly switches to torture mode, by threatening to do a striptease in front of the victim.

USC: Now, if you don't give me some information, I'll start shedding clothes, so talk quick!

Interviewee (AKA victim): I'll never tell you anything!

USC: Ok, you asked for it, I'll start by taking this paper bag off my head. (rustle, rustle)

Intervieweebreaking down very quickly) AAAAARRRGGGHH, no, please, i'll tell you whatever you want to know, I'll tell you, only if you put that bag back on your friggin' head!!


Can anybody dispute this theory?

 

[Darky]

If you describe her flashing some thigh, I'm a-leavin'.

 

[The Hippie]

Sorry Darky, shouldn't have posted that one after eveyone had eaten.

 

[thestretch60]

I feel sick

 

[King Corey]

The torture wouldn't work on me - I reckon she's a bit of a piece.

 

[Shinboners]

Originally posted by King Corey
The torture wouldn't work on me - I reckon she's a bit of a piece.

Um.....if you saw her on the footy last Friday night (during a crowd shot), USC was the one on the left.....it was her daughter* on the right.......hope that clears the mix up for you.

SB

*Yes, a daughter. It means that she's breeded....scary thought eh? A bit like Alien if you think about it......which I don't.....

 

[King Corey]

You mean that she had a daughter.. oh my god.. I thought she was on.. oh no.. I'm logging off now.

 

[35eye]

This is an e-mail doing the rounds thsi week. Now of course it is all a theory, but it goes some way to explain how certain factions of the footy world use dogsbodies like USC to get what they want.


OK lads, what do you think of this.

Received an interesting email from a friend who prides himself on good footy mail which 9 times out of 10 is accurate. The timing for the start of all this goes back a month or two. Consider the following:-

1. St Kilda board ask Blight for a plan for next season. He gives them a list of twelve names who he doesn't want to see next season.
The list contains Burke, Harvey, Leowe, Everett and Jones.
2. A member of the board leaks the list to one of the 12 players.
3. Burke and Leowe who have links to Danny Frawley approach him asking to be picked up next season on one year contracts with richmond knowing that they are going to be cut. They dont think at this stage that the board will ever sack Blight or that there is a problem with him.
4. There are rumblings at board level about Blights behavior and
possible concerns about some of the names on the hit list and these are leaked to one of the hit list players.
5. The twelve players, with renewed confidence that their coach may not be as "untouchable" meet and take the list to Caro at The Age and tell her of a players revolt. Remember some of these names have been involved in the "removal" of other coaches in recent years.
6. The 12 players let the board know that they have gone to the press and are going to give the word to run the story unless something is done about their futures.
7. Grant Thomas becomes persona non grata in the St Kilda coaches box. (see point 2???)
8. Blight is furious and refuses to attend functions outside those
associated with coaching the team.
9. Butterss gets an unprovoked grilling of the decade on TF about Blight from Caro and Walls.
10. Butterss now knows that there is some truth in the players
claims about going to the press. (Nettlefold may have been questioned by Caro or got the impression from her that she was holding on to some hot info on St Kilda to further confirm Butterss and the boards concerns about the press knowing something)
11. Board moves quickly and sacks Blight defusing any story about a list and or leaks from the board at St Kilda. Caro gets the drop on the story. Burke is interviewed leaving the club meeting jovial but "shocked" and states "nothing that happens in football surprises me anymore."
12. Thomas installed as coach with deputies Burke and Harvey.
Unrelated but interestingly enough Frawley refusing to re-sign with Richmond until the end of the year. Has he been sounded out under the banner of the possibility of the club that he played 250 plus games for going to the wall if something isn't done?? If the Tigers fall from the eight this year would he be any better off staying there or going back to coach St kilda where he understands the culture and has clearly embraced the club in the past? Point 3 above definitely took place so he would have known some time back that something could be "on" at St
Kilda. Butterss referred to a list of dot points being Blights Strategic plan which was unacceptable to the board. Was this the list of names???
Interesting.

 

[roofus]

Originally posted by The Hippie
Now, the footy world has been wondering how USC got the inside scoop on Blighty getting the bullet from ST Kilda before anyone else and it got me wondering, how does she get her stories?, apart from a vivid imagination?

She gets on her knees, eyes closed and mouth wide open.