How involved should parents be in their child's education?

[perthblue]

I read this thing once that suggested the reason for children's academic success in countries like China was the parental involvement in early education. That is parents not only sit down and help children with their homework, but perhaps also deliver supplementary lessons after school.

China, S.Korea, Singapore, Japan also lead the world in spending on private after-school tuition. This speaks to the competitiveness in these countries especially when it comes to university acceptance.

In the above mentioned countries, teachers are viewed differently and generally a greater level of respect and trust is placed on them, and the parents are generally more well informed about what their children are doing.

Anecdotally, parents here exist on a spectrum from 'no idea what my kids get up to at school' to 'the teacher cringes when she sees me because I talk to her every day'

So what kind of parent are you or do you hope to be, when it comes to schooling?
Trusting your kid to do the right thing, and trusting they'll come to you if they need a hand?
Checking nightly that they've done their work and sitting and helping them with their studies?
Paying for supplementary tuition if you don't have the time to do the above?
Having them do extra work, even if not prescribed by the school? What are your views on education (particularly primary)

 

[Gralin]

I'm not big on extra homework
We are big on reading, we did a lot of reading to our kid and we lucked out that they are into reading

I'm dreading when I have to relearn high school math or science, I've seen some of the stuff my niece had to do a few years ago and not only do you have to deal with things you've forgotten but with things that have changed or are taught differently now

 

[Caesar]

I vaguely recall reading research that indicated the most important thing for parents is to be engaged in and supportive of the work the child is doing. Less and the child doesn’t view it as a priority, more and they don’t learn self-reliance.

My parents set me up fairly well by ensuring I was literate and numerate before I started school. After that they took a bit of a step back and really just supported my teachers. They didn’t micromanage my homework, but I was expected to ask them for help if I needed it. If they got a call from the teacher to say I wasn’t doing it there’d be hell to pay.

They did insist that I pick up extracurriculars - I had to learn an instrument, and play one winter and one summer sport all throughout school. The specifics were left up to me.

Fostering a sense of intellectual curiosity and pride in a job well done were probably the most important things.

 

[Hawk Dork]

I got left to my own devices turned out ok first in the family to go to uni

 

[Roobs321]

I was the eldest and so before my siblings came along the parents were apparently able to focus on my learning. I therefore was already able to read pre-memory (i.e. by the time I was 3), and with that head start/knack everything came easily from there (at least until the point when diligent studying becomes necessary later in schooling as opposed to just paying attention in class and doing prescribed homework).

After that, seldom remember involving my parents much. Remember going through multiplication and long division table steps with my dad one night each in Year 3 & 5, and mum and dad supported me in completing the occasional handcraft/placard project assignment (on approx. 3 occasions) which you leave until like the day beforehand.

My next brother had more learning difficulty (especially reading the clock), and the last one was a good learner but had behaviour difficulty, so I was largely left alone except for those days when you discuss the report card.

I agree that being engaged and supportive is sufficient. Keen for parent teacher interviews, reading report cards, being up for a chat about what you learnt today, maybe volunteering or visiting the class a few times throughout your schooling, a stable environment of weeknight and early morning routines, etc. My parents were generally more involved in my extracurricular sporting activities like cross country, swimming squad, nippers, soccer, etc. Kids should also be allowed to be kids, if they have passions take an interest in whatever that is as well within moderation. Teach them various life skills. School takes up a fair bit of the day so keep abreast of that but maybe assist in other areas of life. I don't think the education system should be held fully responsible for teaching a blank canvas child you dump on their doorstep, you can't utterly neglect a child's education, and you should try to be conscious and sensitive to the various learning impediments faced by the particular student (other students, teachers, pedagogical learning styles, learning capacities, readiness, school facilities, traveling to & from, home life, funding, nutrition, modern distractions, etc.).

 

[Catfish Alley]

My kids are young (7 and 5) so it's basically reading, writing, basic geography and biology. Just a little bit each day at this stage but when they're back in school it will ramp up a bit. Teachers usually send back a few activities. I'll let them try first and help a little to teach if they are struggling or have questions.

So, yeah, I'd make sure they are doing their work but give them some independence. I'll help if needed and try and do a little extra - particularly if they are showing a passion for a particular thing and want to keep working at it.

Private schools aren't really a thing here but would consider private tuition if they fell behind in math or something. I definitely respect teachers and keep those lines of communication open. They are good at providing feedback though and my wife and I both make an effort to go to any teacher meetings together.

 

[rank and file]

When we were looking at having to home school rank jr I went and bought chess,
scrabble and backgammon.Worked a treat,looks like he's getting a scholarship at boarding school next year.

 

[MWPP]

My parents set me up fairly well by ensuring I was literate and numerate

They did insist that I pick up extracurriculars - I had to learn an instrument, and play one winter and one summer sport all throughout school. The specifics were left up to me.

Fostering a sense of intellectual curiosity and pride in a job well done were probably the most important things.

They didn’t micromanage my homework, but I was expected to ask them for help if I needed it. If they got a call from the teacher to say I wasn’t doing it there’d be hell to pay.

I therefore was already able to read pre-memory (i.e. by the time I was 3), and with that head start/knack everything came easily from there

I’m not a parent but if I could sum up my experience as a child - the above statements lay it out perfectly . However I was also academically inclined and did most of my learning in the primary school years at home (school was more for socialisation), often years ahead of when the content was covered at school . Especially for maths and science . I think instilling a work ethic /sense of discipline is far more valuable than the content , and the value of reading and extracurricular stuff can’t be underestimated either.

 

[craigos]

Good to see a lot of step-moms helping out their step children as well. Was pretty much non existent a decade ago.

 

[Scotland]

Realistic and supportive parents should absolutely be involved.

Primary school teachers spend 7 hours a day at school with 20-30 kids. High school teachers do 5-6 lessons a day, so your kid's English teacher might see your kid in a class of 20-30 for an hour 3 or 4 times a week. Your kid is your priority, but teachers aren't there to look after your kid. They are there to teach your kid in a group environment. If your kid is falling behind in something, or has behavioural issues, or could benefit from advanced learning or a tutor etc. then that is the role of the teacher/parent liaison.

If you are one of those parents that is your kid's best friend and/or takes the approach that the kid is always right and it's a kid + parent vs teacher mentality, probably best to not be involved. No Karening, essentially.

I do hope that post-COVID that everyone that bitched and whinged about having their kids at home all day don't immediately revert to telling teachers how to suck eggs.

 

[Gralin]

In today's episode of how to parent by Scotland

 

[Scotland]

Yeah, crazy. Almost like I went to school myself.

 

[Richard Pryor]

My father is incredibly gifted intellectual (won a university medal doing a triple major with subject overloads), was always very involved in assisting me in my education and extending beyond the school curriculum, but only if I was interested to be extended, and with little pressure related to academic marks. I would say it was very effective, but I haven't had any luck using my God forsaken chemistry undergrad degree to get a job so not sure if the results support my conclusion!

The one thing which definitely was of incredible benefit is my parents taught me how to read when I was like 5 or 6, so I was able to self-direct a lot of my learning in the classroom (which I personally think is absolutely essential, teachers simply do not have the time to effectively accompany a whole class of kids to literacy, so if it is at all possible for a parent to get their kids started early they have to do so imo).

 

[MrsEddieBetts]

My parents put in a lot of effort. My brother and I could read novels by the time we started primary school, could write etc. We were both in accelerated programs although my brother is a heck of a lot smarter than I am.

My dad helped when asked but aside from encouraging us to always stretch ourselves, we weren’t pushed. It was a good balance for me but my brother probably needed more direction.

 

[Gralin]

Yeah, crazy. Almost like I went to school myself.

Yeah but you don't have kids

 

[Scotland]

Yeah but you don't have kids

So? I'm not a teacher either. Doesn't stop everyone in the known universe from having an opinion on them.

Nothing I said is remotely controversial. How you raise your kids is your business, homeschool from K-12 if you really want.

 

[Gralin]

So? I'm not a teacher either. Doesn't stop everyone in the known universe from having an opinion on them.

Nothing I said is remotely controversial. How you raise your kids is your business, homeschool from K-12 if you really want.

No but you do spout a lot of ignorant crap like it's sage advice

 

[Bomberboyokay]

No but you do spout a lot of ignorant crap like it's sage advice

I like his appeals to common sense and broad opposition to religion while voting Liberal.

 

[Scotland]

Exhibits A and B of what happens when your parents don't take an interest in their children's education. ^

 

[Gough]

My parents put in a lot of effort. My brother and I could read novels by the time we started primary school, could write etc. We were both in accelerated programs although my brother is a heck of a lot smarter than I am.

My dad helped when asked but aside from encouraging us to always stretch ourselves, we weren’t pushed. It was a good balance for me but my brother probably needed more direction.

My folks were good at filling in the gaps that you didn't get from a formal education, they also strongly encouraged us to find out for ourselves.

 

[Gralin]

Exhibits A and B of what happens when your parents don't take an interest in their children's education. ^

 

[Reynolds Number]

In Asia, parents think 'if you're awake, if you are not eating a meal you are learning'.

Who can blame them?

 

[Natho]

I mow lawn for a living so probably won't be much assistance