Humorous Collingwood moments

[adamov13]

I know this is a little random guys but looking back at some old footage last night reminded me of some very funny moments involving Collingwood somehow. Got a couple to share and would love to hear any other ones some people might have!

First off the bat is a incident back in the early 90's. Out at Waverly, James Manson takes a good strong mark deep in the forward pocket playing Geelong. As we all know he wasnt the greatest kick in the world with that very attractive kicking style of his. After the dust has settled from the mark he has basically acted like he has been shot 3 times in the guts....really really over the top. Ofcourse Ron McKeon is standing by and he slots the goal from a real tough spot. Well of course Manson make a amazing recovery as soon as the goal floats through and runs off with the most arrogant, cocky smirk on his face and then for good measure gives a Geelong player a ripping back hander as he runs past him. I don't think I have laughed so hard for a long time.

Another good one is Greg Williams "trying" to chase Mick McGuane down the wing at the MCG in those mid 90's games.

I also found that game we played North Melbourne back in the Tony Shaw era amusing for the wrong reasons. All 18 playsers starting in the defensive half at the first bounce of the game....Don't think we will ever see that one again....

Anyone have anything else??

 

[grug]

Scotty Russell's stomach bug that gave him diarrhea in an away game at Waverley. We were in white shorts.

 

[Rush Stand]

Micky McGuane struggling to put boot to ball on a number of occasions and kicking fresh air at Victoria Park v Adelaide around 1992. He had some groin issue, received an injection and lost feeling in his leg. Not funny at the time, but after the 4 points were ours and watching the replay, very funny moment!

 

[Camo1902]

Micky McGuane struggling to put boot to ball on a number of occasions and kicking fresh air at Victoria Park v Adelaide around 1992. He had some groin issue, received an injection and lost feeling in his leg. Not funny at the time, but after the 4 points were ours and watching the replay, very funny moment!

hahaha i remember that.

From a personal perspective, i remember a day where my brother got into a minor scuffle with John Northey at Victoria Park, after a game against Melbourne. We were in the outer, and Melbourne beat us by 9 points in a game that was really tight all day. For those that remember, the opposition coaches box was located in the outer.

Anyway, as Northey and his staff were walking down the steps in the outer and onto the ground, we heard Northey say as clear as day "nothing better than beating these pricks here'. My brother turned around and told him where to go, and Northey stomped on his foot and pushed him. My brother pushes him back, and next thing i know we're being jumped by security. Some Collingwood supporter who we didn't know saved my brothers bacon, coz she told security that it wasn't our fault and thankfully they believed her and let us go. At the time it wasn't a great sitchy to be in, but after security let us go we had a damn good chuckle about it.

Seriously, who stomps on someone's toe?

 

[kevind]

Not so much the players but a few witicisms by Collingwood supporters.

Out at the old VFL Park many a year ago, Jim Jess was playing for Richmond and was going through a well publicised horror patch of form. He had the nickname of 'The Ghost' due to his albino like blonde hair and very pale skin.

I forget who was playing on him on that day, but whoever it was, gave Jess the run around all day. I guess you had to be there at the time, but an unamed Collingwood fan lightened the atmosphere with "Now I know why the call you the 'Ghost', Jess, you get killed every week".

Another time I was out at VFL Park with a good mate who now lives in LA. We were sitting directly behind an Essendon fan who chain smoked all day, with the voluminous clouds of smoke not only obscuring our view of the game but also damn well near choking us. Polite requests to find different destinations for his smoke clouds were met with disdain and a curious degree of mirth was made quite clear to us from not only the smoker but his entire family.

That mirth somehow turned to unrequited anger when my mate cooly and calmly declared, "You know, there's a lot to be said for lung cancer".

We were not disappointed when the Essendon family quickly decided to choose a different vantage point to see the game.

 

[magpiewarrior]

I'm not sure but I think it was in 2004, Jimmy Clement was doing the kick-in duties after an opo point. He was having a dog of a day (pretty rare for him) and so was the rest of the team, anyway he tried to kick the ball to himself and play-on but instead he kicked the ball neatly over his head and through for another point. He looked at the coaches box and just apologetically shrugged his shoulders. He then put the ball on the ground and walked out of the square leaving it for someone (anyone) else to kick it in. It probably would have been funny if anyone had done it but being Jimmy it was hilarious. Lucky we were getting flogged so it didn't make any difference. It was the only time that day that I laughed, well apart from when I told others about it.

 

[MACDAICOS]

BT belting Melbourne's Danny Hughes everytime we played Melbourne was a great childhood memory

 

[Gambit78]

Sorry to go off topic a little, but the funniest thing that ever happened to me did not involve a Collingwood game. Just the fact that I was a Collingwood supporter.

It was out at Princess Park, Carlton v Sydney. A mate had come down from NSW and we went with a couple of Carlton guys to watch it. We were in the outer and I sided with my NSW mate and was giving it to the Carlton mob every time the swannies scored. It was actually a good game to watch. But one of the Carlton guys was getting a little peeved with my 'enthusiasm' and decided, during a lull in the game, when the outer was reasonably silent, to blurt this out at the top of his lungs:

"Who you calling a Dago F***ing Wog?'

All eyes turned to me and my mate. We didn't say a word for the rest of the game.

**Please forgive the racism element to the story - no offense is intended. Just humour.

 

[Jabso]

I remember in the 2000s, maybe 2004/5/6 we played Port at the 'Dome'. The crowd was rather small and it was a dull game in which we dominated, so the crowd was quiet. We were sitting behind the goals on level 3 in the first few rows. Some guy near us kept giving Tredrea so much shit, it was just so funny. He had a poor game too, nothing went right for him. This guy hated him so much and I think Tredrea could probably hear him on the ground. He didn't say anything tha bad just "NO ONE LIKES YOU TREADREA" "YOU'RE A D*** HEAD TREDREA".

Another call came from a pies supporter who had some kind of developmental disability. When Burton broke his leg against us a few pies supporters were kind of cheering on this fact quietly. This guy kind of got in he spirit of these few supporters and he said "Good! I hope you die!". The supporters revelling in the fact Burton was injured turned around and said "Gee....that's a bit harsh" and he sheepishly said "yeah....sorry".

I always mention this but here we go again, the 2003 prelim against Port. Holland was tagging Nick Stevens, Stevens was crouching down before a stoppage in our forward line to tie his boots. Holland saw this and kept nudging him, knocking him off balance, Stevens started to give a bit back but Holland wouldn't stop so Stevens got fed up and threw his boot away.

I like to troll the opposition supporters a bit (not face to face mind you). That game where Didak flattened Scotland, Goldspink gave a free kick in the goalsquare, right after a goal to us due to retaliation. Some Carlton supporter, with his voice breaking as if he was in tears kept yelling "THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT GOLDSPINK" "I'LL NEVER FORGET THIS GOLDSPINK!" and finally "WE DON'T COME TO WATCH YOU GOLDSPINK". I replied "WE COME TO WATCH YOU GOLDSPINK. KEEP IT UP! GOOD UMPIRING" the guy kept shouting "IT'S NOT ABOUT HIM!". It was funny.

 

[Gone Critical]

My old man has a great story about taking my mums dad (his father in law) to the footy at Vic Park. Dad warned Pop about the bloke sitting behind him who bagged John Henderson who was Collingwoods vice captain without mercy every week.

As predicted this guy starts on Hendo from the 1st bounce and doesnt let up. Half time and Dad says to Pop "see I told you about him" and goes off to get a couple of beers. Third Q starts and suddenly the bloke behind has turned 180 degrees and become Hendos greatest fan. For the rest of the match he cant stop lauding him

When Dad and Pop walk out after the game the old man comments on the transformation and ask Pop what he thought. Pop reckons he is not sure but it might have had something to do with Pop telling the bloke at half time while Dads getting the beers that Dad was Hendos brother!!!

Next Vic Park game and Dads walking in (Pops not with him this week) and the bloke behind is standing and waving him over, v pleased to be in the company of a Collingwood players brother. The Old Man fesses up and explains whats happened. The bloke sits down, crestfallen, and doesnt say anything for the first minutes of the game. 5 minutes in Dad feels the guy jump to his feet and scream at the top of his voice "Henderson your fu-king hopeless" and the usual tirade continued on for the rest of the match and thereafter.

That whole story was v typical of my Pop.

 

[doppleganger]

I remember in the 2000s, maybe 2004/5/6 we played Port at the 'Dome'. The crowd was rather small and it was a dull game in which we dominated, so the crowd was quiet. We were sitting behind the goals on level 3 in the first few rows. Some guy near us kept giving Tredrea so much shit, it was just so funny. He had a poor game too, nothing went right for him. This guy hated him so much and I think Tredrea could probably hear him on the ground. He didn't say anything tha bad just "NO ONE LIKES YOU TREADREA" "YOU'RE A D*** HEAD TREDREA".

I was sitting near that bloke that day too.....was a brilliant, sustained, barrage of abuse!

Will never forget it!

 

[DJ Black @ White Blood]

Back in the 80s i use to stand behind the goals at Vic park on the hill. Always proud to be wearing my Duffle coat with a massive number 1 on the back. On top Syd and below Coventry. Could always here people laughing behing me every match and Kids asking there dads were syd was on the ground. I miss those Duffle coat days.

 

[Smoky]

Back in the 80s i use to stand behind the goals at Vic park on the hill. Always proud to be wearing my Duffle coat with a massive number 1 on the back. On top Syd and below Coventry. Could always here people laughing behing me every match and Kids asking there dads were syd was on the ground. I miss those Duffle coat days.

Late last year I found a Norwellan Bluey Black duffle coat and got it for $15... Took it straight to rebel sport and had the old school style 35 with Peter Daicos ironed on.

Last year i went to the G and all night long people were coming up and asking me about my coat... will you hand that down to your son etc - As if it was actually from the 80's - It's my favorite possession.

When i was about 8 mum bought me a duffel coat and put my favorite player at the time on the back number 12 "Dennis Banks" - she put one to many 'n's in Denis! Not happy Jan.

When I was like 5 I was sitting in the Ryder stand at Vic park with the family... a minute before half time I turned around and was talking to grandma about which lollies or chips I could have. While I was talking the players went off the ground and the little league came on (when they used to use the whole ground) and apparently I turned back around and screamed "My eyes have shrunk"

 

[DJ Black @ White Blood]

Any one from back in those days will know what were talking about Smoky. How long did it take me to sow those bloody white strips with the players names on them on the sleeves under each other. I had the whole team down each sleeve.

 

[Smoky]

Any one from back in those days will know what were talking about Smoky. How long did it take me to sow those bloody white strips with the players names on them on the sleeves under each other. I had the whole team down each sleeve.

I have about 10 players names patches, Spicers Paper, Mini Skips, the old Y Yakka patch... and about 20 players faces and Pies patches... It has become my obsession

I have already been offered a couple of hundred form an ex Collingwood player for the coat and havent even sewn any of the patches on yet!

It will end up being one epic piece

 

[camo2572]

hahaha i remember that.

From a personal perspective, i remember a day where my brother got into a minor scuffle with John Northey at Victoria Park, after a game against Melbourne. We were in the outer, and Melbourne beat us by 9 points in a game that was really tight all day. For those that remember, the opposition coaches box was located in the outer.

Anyway, as Northey and his staff were walking down the steps in the outer and onto the ground, we heard Northey say as clear as day "nothing better than beating these pricks here'. My brother turned around and told him where to go, and Northey stomped on his foot and pushed him. My brother pushes him back, and next thing i know we're being jumped by security. Some Collingwood supporter who we didn't know saved my brothers bacon, coz she told security that it wasn't our fault and thankfully they believed her and let us go. At the time it wasn't a great sitchy to be in, but after security let us go we had a damn good chuckle about it.

Seriously, who stomps on someone's toe?

lol yep I put my hand up on that one.
guilty as charged, how dumb can you be!!
but it wasnt Northey who pushed me it was one of his assistant coaches
I was in my 20's my brother was 12 or 13 and when the guards got me , all I thought about was my brother being left there all alone whilst I was about to be thrown in the clink.
thank christ for the collingwood faithful, they nearly caused a riot because of my stupid actions. they certainly saved my butt that day.

 

[kevind]

Being a social club member in the late 1980's and early 1990's usually meant drinks after the game on the top floor of the old social club at Vic Park after home games.

Often the players would mingle with supporters, and it always amazed me how many women would turn up with one mission in mind. Score a player. Regardless if the player's partner was present or not.

Some of the tactics used by these footy groupies had to be seen to be believed as they often would target a player en masse. One had to be careful not to be hit by a shirtfront or an errant elbow in the rush.

One night, I was standing with my back to the late, great Darren Millane when he was targeted by a possie of 5 females, all trying to eliminate each other in the process. One girl who was quite overweight and wearing a dress that just screamed out, "Look at my titts", thought she would hold her rivals at bay by thrusting a texta into Darren's hand with the request,"Would you autograph my breasts".

Obviously not wanting to disappoint his fans, Darren, after several taunts from nearby teamates, duly signed Darren on one exposed breast and Millane-42 on the other. Looking at the number 42 adorning her breast, you could almost hear her thinking "What a guy, he also knows my breast size".

As I was about 20 centimetres away from Darren at the time, I then heard the girl go for the killer punch as she leaned in close to his right ear and whispered "You can sign it on my ass after if you like".

Darren politely declined.