Think Tank I call on Joel Selwood to step down as captain

[Lethality]

Hi Bay, former President of the United States Calvin Coolidge here.

I almost never do this, but the recent performances of the Cats in finals matches over there in Australia has me turning in my grave, well, actually I've been spinning like a chicken in a rotisserie. I understand those are electric now. Fascinating. In my day we just had a couple of negroes do the work.

Anyhow, I digress . . .

As an educated leader of men it causes me some dismay to see poor leadership around the world. Franscesco Schettino, George W Bush, Joel Selwood, Adolf Hitler, and the like. Utterly rudderless lunatics the lot of them. But while Adolf Hitler had the good sense to perform lead brain surgery on himself, Bush's term expired, and the 'captain' of the Concordia jumped ship, I feel none of these options are viable for our misguided ducker, Mr. Selwood.

Therefore I wish to publicly beseech him to use whatever unconcussed brain cells he has left to acknowledge his poor record as a finals leader and step down. 6 finals losses and 2 wins simply won't do. I heard that one of those wins was against Port Adelaide, which is still just a SANFL club isn't it? I don't see how that should even count. So one real win, after the siren, in 8 finals matches. I'm afraid changes have to be made based on those poor performances.

Please pass on my sentiments to Mr. Selwood won't you?

Kindest regards,

President Calvin Coolidge.

 

[Austin_McCrabbs]

Yer, but I'm not sure Billie Smedts is ready for the job just yet.

 

[Tippett2Goal]

tldr lol

 

[Paul Kersey]

What a terrible captain. Had to get his brother there as no one else is gonna follow his lead with the ducking and behind the play hits. 75% failure rate.

 

[Supercoach Bargain]

Aren't you long dead, Cal?

What do you think of instagram?

 

[Lethality]

Aren't you long dead, Cal?

What do you think of instagram?

I'm down with the kids.

 

[Supercoach Bargain]

I'm down with the kids.

What's campaign headquarters, a place of many campaigners? What's your favourite flavour at Farrells?

 

[David Schwarz]

What's campaign headquarters, a place of many campaigners? What's your favourite flavour at Farrells?

I've lost count of the times that I've chuckled to myself when they say things on the radio like "Trump's campaigner sacked" or "Hillary is out campaigning today"?

 

[Lethality]

What's campaign headquarters, a place of many campaigners? What's your favourite flavour at Farrells?

The answer to both those questions is "Yes".

 

[Supercoach Bargain]

I've lost count of the times that I've chuckled to myself when they say things on the radio like "Trump's campaigner sacked" or "Hillary is out campaigning today"?

This bloke has potential.

 

[sonnywalters]

Under-rated OP.

 

[A Cut Above]

 

[Calvin Coolidge]

Hi Bay, former President of the United States Calvin Coolidge here.

I almost never do this, but the recent performances of the Cats in finals matches over there in Australia has me turning in my grave, well, actually I've been spinning like a chicken in a rotisserie. I understand those are electric now. Fascinating. In my day we just had a couple of negroes do the work.

Anyhow, I digress . . .

As an educated leader of men it causes me some dismay to see poor leadership around the world. Franscesco Schettino, George W Bush, Joel Selwood, Adolf Hitler, and the like. Utterly rudderless lunatics the lot of them. But while Adolf Hitler had the good sense to perform lead brain surgery on himself, Bush's term expired, and the 'captain' of the Concordia jumped ship, I feel none of these options are viable for our misguided ducker, Mr. Selwood.

Therefore I wish to publicly beseech him to use whatever unconcussed brain cells he has left to acknowledge his poor record as a finals leader and step down. 6 finals losses and 2 wins simply won't do. I heard that one of those wins was against Port Adelaide, which is still just a SANFL club isn't it? I don't see how that should even count. So one real win, after the siren, in 8 finals matches. I'm afraid changes have to be made based on those poor performances.

Please pass on my sentiments to Mr. Selwood won't you?

Kindest regards,

President Calvin Coolidge.

What the dickens is this, I am not amused by your impersonation of my fine self.

Mr. Selwood is of a firm Christian Anglo-Saxon breed of duck and is pillar of his community. To slur his name is not on young man and I'll advice you to take heed of my advice. As long as Selwood is captain of that club they call Sleepy Hollow, they shall forever remain in the darkest depths of the AFL ladder in upcoming years. Long may he reign and God Bless.

Yours Truly

The Real President Calvin Coolidge.

 

[David Schwarz]

What the dickens is this, I am not amused by your impersonation of my fine self.

Mr. Selwood is of a firm Christian Anglo-Saxon breed of duck and is pillar of his community. To slur his name is not young man and I'll advice you to take heed of my advice. As long as Selwood is captain of that club they call Sleepy Hollow, they shall forever remain in the darkest depths of the AFL ladder in upcoming years. Long may he reign and God Bless.

Yours Truley

The Real President Calvin Coolidge.

Was only a matter of time

 

[NorthernLights]

Andrew Swallow has captained more finals wins than Joel Selwood, let that marinate.

 

[David Schwarz]

Andrew Swallow has captained more finals wins than Joel Selwood, let that marinate.

How long for? What temperature do I set the oven to?

 

[Calvin Coolidge]

Was only a matter of time

Before someone began impersonating me, I know I've only been dead for 70 odd plus years and the sheer crassness of this thread's OP awoke me from my deep slumber to point out said crassness to the world, so as not to besmirch my good name.

Now tell me, is it true that Croatians can't change tyres? It was a major problem in my time too, with men with long mullets and poor quality cameras trying to change tyres for hours at a time.

Yours Sincerely,

Mr. Cool...idge

 

[Austin_McCrabbs]

How long for? What temperature do I set the oven to?

Same as is required for a beef casserole.

 

[David Schwarz]

Before someone began impersonating me, I know. I've only been dead for 70 odd plus years and the sheer crassness of this thread's OP awoke me from my deep slumber to point out said crassness to the world, so as not to besmirch my good name.

Now tell me, is it true that Croatians can't change tyres? It was a major problem in my time too, with men with long mullets and poor quality cameras trying to change tyres for hours at a time.

Yours Sincerely,

Mr. Cool...idge

Should see what they look up online

 

[Calvin Coolidge]

Should see what they look up online

Look up what my fine Schwarz?

All I found was some deeply disturbing people with long hair and a show called Arrested Development.

 

[Calvin Coolidge]

Same as is required for a beef casserole.

Back in my day, when Brent Harvey was still a relatively young man playing at North, I got my servant to slow cook me some fine ass freedom steaks, my golly they were good. Not as good as Irish stew I tells you, but still fine as anything.

 

[Back One Out]

tldr lol

Sorry… My bad.. Finger must've slipped and clicked on 'reply' by mistake

 

[Back One Out]

Selwood seems to be more preoccupied with accumulating useless possessions and awards than actually leading his team to real success.

I guess you could describe him as a lame-duck captain

Quack!

 

[db swannie]

Yer, but I'm not sure Billie Smedts is ready for the job just yet.

Sam who?

 

[db swannie]

What a terrible captain. Had to get his brother there as no one else is gonna follow his lead with the ducking and behind the play hits. 75% failure rate.

His brother is really a very, very s**t footballer.