If Big Footy posters were in charge at the Dogs

[WallyStringhaus]

The mood is a bit down around here this week so I thought we could have some fun. Thread title says it all, here are mine;

President: Dogwatch - Wise and articulate. He has a broad view of the game as a whole but always has the Doggies at the forefront of his thoughts. No-brainer appointment, elected unopposed.

CEO: Fossie32 - A few candidates here but Fos gets the nod due to his penchant for numbers. Chosen due to his promise to sign up 54,016 members in his first 89 days in charge.

GM of Football: Mofra - Has the rare ability to maintain excellence and consistency across multiple departments. Can be serious when he needs to but can also lighten the mood with humour, essential in a leadership role.

List Manager: Fronkalicious - Has a presence about him, a bit of swagger which I like in key negotiators. Is shrewd and calculating and will always extract as much as he possibly can.

National Recruiting Manager: Wizard17 - The best identifier of young talent in the game.

Strength and Conditioning: ScragCity - Has stated openly that he would allow the players, much to Issy Folau's chagrin, to fornicate with his wife. The boys should be in prime physical condition after Scrag is done with them.

Dietician: Chicago1 - The board's resident culinary expert. After scoffing down on Souvlaki, Pizza and Dim Sims, Tim English will finally crack the 100kg mark (keeping Yojimbo happy). In an unrelated occurrence, Timmy suffers a mass heart attack at age 34.

Head Coach: Charlie Bucket - Views the game well, stays calm after a loss and doesn't get too over the top after a win.

Asst Coach: Brisdog - Has a bit of campaigner about him which I love. Will have the boys breathing fire before they get out on the ground. Will also ensure that no Cider is consumed on the end of year footy trip.

Oppo Analyst: Yojimbo - Can come up with some obscure numbers and knows more about secondary leagues than anyone in the country.

Video editor: Sack of Balls - 'nuff said.

Club Marketing: Norm De Guerre - Artistic without being w***erish. Has a cool vibe that appeals to the young and old alike.

Have I missed anyone? Who makes your team?

 

[compact72]

Mattdougie - Add him to the assistant coach. Will always challenge Charlie Bucket's views

 

[Curly5]

Deeply offended on behalf of Dogs_r_barking , NBates , Kermit and myself, probably others, that there is not even a token female on your "board".

Boys' club

 

[dogwatch]

Haha, nice one.

I'm concerned about the gender imbalance, Wal. Not even a token female in fact. Maybe DrB gets the gig as AFLW coach? Could do with Curly5 or Kermit on the Board. We also need some voices of dissent (better on the inside pissing out etc) so other Board members could include MD, BRWB and Hard Ball Get (umpire liaison).

Maybe have Mutt on the legal team.

 

[dogwatch]

Also Vital Dread for one or all of VFL coach, NGA and state league scouting.

 

[WallyStringhaus]

Apologies to the ladies but I have no idea who is male or female on this board. Surely that excuses me?

 

[dogwatch]

A couple more:
Vinegar Mess - club historian
Wally Stringhaus - statistician/analyst (how could you have overlooked that one!)

 

[DognBones]

I don't mind being waterboy to all the above luminaries.

 

[Bodicifer]

Deeply offended on behalf of Dogs_r_barking , NBates , Kermit and myself, probably others, that there is not even a token female on your "board".

Boys' club

Never fear, Bodicifer is here! Kate Upton, who is a proud supporter of the Dogs, phoned this morning and has accepted the position I offered her. Unfortunately I'm banned from posting photos of Kate 'showing her support'

 

[Mofra]

Need to find a spot for Dannnnnnnnnn - perhaps a Mr Wolf type role that just fixes things.

 

[dogwatch]

Need to find a spot for Dannnnnnnnnn - perhaps a Mr Wolf type role that just fixes things.

Club psychologist?

 

[ScragCity]

ManOfClay - head of security

 

[dogwatch]

I don't mind being waterboy person to all the above luminaries.

Done. There's the small matter of a gender re-assignment procedure but you won't feel a thing.

 

[ScragCity]

Dry Rot - massage therapist

 

[DognBones]

Done. There's the small matter of a gender re-assignment procedure but you won't feel a thing.

My apologies, I was brought up in an age when PC meant Police Constable.

 

[Luder]

Can I be the head of the cheer squad? I aspire to be the kind who ends up on Nuffies on AFL Pages

 

[BallaratBulldog]

I can be the person that isn't apart of this and complains why isnt x or y done on a fourm about you

 

[Bemoreboyddog]

If I were in charge of list management Lachie Hunter would be at Geelong and we’d have Josh Walker in our forward line. Whoops a daisy.

 

[Mattdougie]

Mattdougie - Add him to the assistant coach. Will always challenge Charlie Bucket's views

Sorry boys no coach can assist someone they have zero respect for.

Have to find someone else unfortunately for the club

 

[Mattdougie]

Haha, nice one.

I'm concerned about the gender imbalance, Wal. Not even a token female in fact. Maybe DrB gets the gig as AFLW coach? Could do with Curly5 or Kermit on the Board. We also need some voices of dissent (better on the inside pi**ing out etc) so other Board members could include MD, BRWB and Hard Ball Get (umpire liaison).

Maybe have Mutt on the legal team.

Legit question

Do we have any females on this board? I’m sure we have some but they haven’t made their gender obvious which of course they have no need to

 

[dogwatch]

Legit question

Do we have any females on this board? I’m sure we have some but they haven’t made their gender obvious which of course they have no need to

PG said at the mid-year Q&A event that by the end of the year AGM (presumably when some current directors step down on completion of their term) we will have 50% female representation, the first club in the AFL to do so. Pretty sure they also said it wasn't a specific goal to be 50-50, but they're pleased that it has worked out that way.

New appointments include Simon Garlick, Linda Fitzpatrick and Belinda Duarte. Duarte in particular is an interesting one - she was AFL Woman of the Year in 2012. It's expected she will be a strong supporter of our push to engage indigenous players and supporters but I'm not sure if that's actually a formal role. You will not be pleased to learn that she's from Ballarat!

Here's a relevant link but it doesn't list all Board members:

New directors added to Bulldogs’ Board

Three new Directors will join the Board of the Western Bulldogs over the next few months.

www.westernbulldogs.com.au

The 2018 yearbook lists the following as Directors:

• Ameet Bains
• Matthew Croft
• Mark Evans
• Fiona McGauchie
• Chris Nolan
• Jenni Rechter
• Lev Shevki

Plus Peter Gordon (Pres) and Kylie Watson-Wheeler (VP) of course.

Some of those names are new to me so I can't tell you much about them.

 

[Mr. Walker]

The 2018 yearbook lists the following as Directors:

• Ameet Bains
• Matthew Croft
• Mark Evans
• Fiona McGauchie
• Chris Nolan
• Jenni Rechter
• Lev Shevki

I thought Chris Grant was a director. Is that no longer the case (or is Director of Football not a Board position but a job title)?

 

[dogwatch]

I thought Chris Grant was a director. Is that no longer the case (or is Director of Football not a Board position but a job title)?

Dunno. He's not listed as such but there could be some ex officio positions on the Board.

 

[WallyStringhaus]

PG said at the mid-year Q&A event that by the end of the year AGM (presumably when some current directors step down on completion of their term) we will have 50% female representation, the first club in the AFL to do so. Pretty sure they also said it wasn't a specific goal to be 50-50, but they're pleased that it has worked out that way.

New appointments include Simon Garlick, Linda Fitzpatrick and Belinda Duarte. Duarte in particular is an interesting one - she was AFL Woman of the Year in 2012. It's expected she will be a strong supporter of our push to engage indigenous players and supporters but I'm not sure if that's actually a formal role. You will not be pleased to learn that she's from Ballarat!

Here's a relevant link but it doesn't list all Board members:

New directors added to Bulldogs’ Board

Three new Directors will join the Board of the Western Bulldogs over the next few months.

www.westernbulldogs.com.au

The 2018 yearbook lists the following as Directors:

• Ameet Bains
• Matthew Croft
• Mark Evans
• Fiona McGauchie
• Chris Nolan
• Jenni Rechter
• Lev Shevki

Plus Peter Gordon (Pres) and Kylie Watson-Wheeler (VP) of course.

Some of those names are new to me so I can't tell you much about them.

I think MD meant the Big Footy board DW...not the actual doggies BOD...

 

[dogwatch]

I think MD meant the Big Footy board DW...not the actual doggies BOD...

Seems so. It just didn't occur to me that he could be posting here for 6 years and not know that we had females here. So I presumed when he said "legit question" he was talking about the WB Board.

Back to comprehension classes for me!