If current players weren’t playing footy..

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Cotchins Hair Piece

Bouffant Flat Top
Mar 6, 2019
4,774
10,355
AFL Club
Melbourne
What would they be doing?

Ben King - Porn star
Zak Jones - Plumber
Joe Daniher - School janitor
Tex Walker - Garbageman
Max Gawn - Barista
Patrick Dangerfield - Lobbyist
Jaeger O’Meara - Abercrombie and Fitch model
Jake Stringer - Bottle shop attendant
Bailey Fritsch - Hair dresser
Tim Membrey - Red Bull salesman
Eric Hipwood - Lead singer of an 80’s glam rock cover band
Cam Rayner - Pool boy
Jack Ziebell - CrossFit instructor
Matt De Boer - Spray tanner
Jack Darling - Ice cream parlour assistant manager
 
Last edited:
May 2, 2007
78,317
97,539
WA
AFL Club
Fremantle
Other Teams
Chicago Bears, de Boer, Arsenal
Josh Bruce - Hairdresser
 

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Captain_Bender

Premiership Player
May 21, 2015
4,495
6,761
AFL Club
Richmond
Clayton Oliver would be a virgin
 

BringFevBack2021

Norm Smith Medallist
May 9, 2021
5,149
12,243
AFL Club
Carlton
Trent Cotchin - hairpiece model
 
Aug 15, 2015
35,092
82,979
The cockeyed lowlife of the (Southern) Highlands
AFL Club
Port Adelaide
Jordan de goey - bouncer/date rapist
 

Herne Hill Hammer

Cancelled
10k Posts
Jun 22, 2008
24,580
21,272
AFL Club
Geelong
Tom Stewart - dealer (not the casino type either)
Tex Walker - head trolley collector
Gary Rohan - Used Car salesman
Gryan Miers - stoner / gamer
Joel Selwood - racetrack emu (google that one kiddies)
Rhys Stanley - rent boy
Eric Hipwood - JobSeeker recipient
Tom Lynch - Rhys Stanley's pimp
 

M Malice

Hall of Famer
Aug 31, 2015
31,433
72,027
By the Gabba.
AFL Club
Brisbane Lions
Other Teams
Valleys. Chelsea.
X Lions player has shown what can be done >

Justin Clarke - Engineering Science specializing in Hypersonics, Rhodes Scholar.

Current players >

Jordan De Goey - Gynecologist.

Patrick Cripps - Sniper.

Jared Polec - Seagull.
 
Apr 20, 2008
12,343
17,568
Sin City
AFL Club
Geelong
Other Teams
No One
Noah Balta - traffic controller
Tim Membrey - concreter
Ben Brown - circus clown
Tom Lynch - parking inspector
 
May 3, 2005
96,313
106,197
Brisbane
AFL Club
Brisbane Lions
Other Teams
Scuderia Ferrari, Dallas Cowboys
Rhys Mathieson would work for the Bureau of Meteorology measuring air pressure.
 
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Looney

Premiership Player
Apr 28, 2010
3,909
5,943
Melbourne
AFL Club
Collingwood
Mason Cox - Jockey
 
May 2, 2007
78,317
97,539
WA
AFL Club
Fremantle
Other Teams
Chicago Bears, de Boer, Arsenal
BTW is Jack Watts a pool boy now?
watts099145-jack-watts.jpg
 
Brayden Maynard - Roof tiler
Dustin Martin - RV Cook
 

emuboy

Premiership Player
Dec 17, 2006
4,364
4,613
The Southern Hemisphere
AFL Club
Collingwood
Other Teams
South Fremantle, Sturt
Tom Green (GWS Giants) - Comedian, TV show host, writer, actor & director.
 
Ed Richards - marketing icon for a multinational fast food franchise
 

My Tilly

Premium Gold
Jun 30, 2018
9,817
11,851
AFL Club
Geelong
Jordan De Goey - Gynecologist.

He would need to complete secondary school though. Then once he has aced all those tricky subjects like chemistry, biology, advanced math & physics, not sure he would have the discipline to spend another 12 years of studies to earn the right to be named Dr. De Goey.
 

Westerberg

Team Captain
Jun 17, 2011
431
1,156
Melbourne
AFL Club
Fremantle
Scott Lycett - Henchman/Dumb Muscle for a criminal mastermind
 

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