Media Important announcement from the desk of Headless (ATTN: omgfridge)

Feb 8, 2012
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We – that’s manangatang, Yakker, Marlowe, BLUEALLTHRU, por_please_ya, Smartys Power, cats2rise and Headless from the online anonymous text-based football discussion forum bigfooty.com – ended up sleeping in Yakker’s present environment. That is to say, his Christmas tree room.

He wasn’t happy about it, and he did a little rhythmic jig to show it, but he came around – by which, of course, I mean Yakker came around the corner into the Christmas tree room before bed, with Rice Krispies squares and Tang. By "Tang", I don't mean manangatang, of course – he was already in the present environment. That is to say, Yak’s Christmas tree room.

We all slept terribly. TERRIBLY.

Terribly well, that is – like a collective log.

Not a literal log, of course. Logs, unlike manangatang, Yakker, Marlowe, BLUEALLTHRU, por_please_ya, Smartys Power, cats2rise and Headless from the online anonymous text-based football discussion forum bigfooty.com, are not sentient.

After meeting so many new friends in such a short period of time, manangatang and I felt we needed a stroll around the local lake to clear our heads.

Of course, I’m referring here to clearing our head chefs; the two chefs from our favourite restaurant were on trial that same day, and we needed to provide evidence to clear them.

And we did – extraordinarily well.

But we also felt like we needed to freshen up, so we left our dear friends Yakker, Marlowe, BLUEALLTHRU, por_please_ya, Smartys Power and cats2rise from the online anonymous text-based football discussion forum bigfooty.com to tickle their whiskers in Yakker’s Christmas tree room – which they did – whilst we went for a stroll.

On our way out, mang noticed that the doorknob was a little loose. If there’s one thing mang is passionate about, it’s strolling. But he also enjoys doorknobs, so he noted this to Yakker.

mang said, “Yak, this doorknob is loose.”

Yak said, “sorry mate, what was that?”

It was a beautiful morning, with not a cloud in the sky.

At least, not a visible cloud – statistically, it was likely there was a cloud in the sky somewhere – and manangatang mused to that effect.

He said, “my dear friend ‘Less, statistically, it’s likely there is a cloud in the sky somewhere.”

And I nodded, for I, too, thought that, statistically, it was likely there was a cloud in the sky somewhere.

We did lap after lap after lap of the lake – just two friends, walking, and talking and eating (we had, of course, brought several almond croissants with us).

We eventually returned to Yakker’s present environment – that is to say, his Christmas tree room – and simply couldn’t believe what we were seeing.

We just simply couldn’t believe it.

And so we didn’t. We set off again for another lap of the lake, and the scene when we returned the second time was much more pleasant and wholesome.

You see, our friends Yakker, Marlowe, BLUEALLTHRU, por_please_ya, Smartys Power and cats2rise from the online anonymous text-based football discussion forum bigfooty.com were playing a game of the popular card game UNO™.

But there was one other new friend, and we – that’s manangatang and Headless from the online anonymous text-based football discussion forum bigfooty.com – immediately recognised them as GWS Goose from the online anonymous text-based football discussion forum bigfooty.com.

mang said, “GWS Goose, a most pleasant surprise! I simply didn’t expect to see you here.”

And that’s when our dear friend cats2rise explained. I’ll tell you exactly what cats2rise said.

cats2rise said, “mang, when you said ‘Yak, this doorknob is loose’, Yakker thought you said, ‘Yak, make sure you play a game of the popular card game UNO™ with GWS Goose.’”

It was a hilarious mix-up, and the nine of us – that’s manangatang, Yakker, Marlowe, BLUEALLTHRU, por_please_ya, Smartys Power, cats2rise, GWS Goose and Headless from the online anonymous text-based football discussion forum bigfooty.com – are still laughing about it now.

~~~ to be continued ~~~​
Thanks for not tagging me. Cheers.
 
Nov 7, 2017
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~~~ what you need to know ~~~
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In the end, we – that’s manangatang and Headless from the online anonymous text-based football discussion forum bigfooty.com – ended up joining our friends Yakker, Marlowe, BLUEALLTHRU, por_please_ya, Smartys Power, cats2rise and GWS Goose for a game of the popular card game UNO™, and I just don’t even know how to begin to describe the enjoyment we experienced.

I suppose I could start by typing my thoughts in this post on the online anonymous text-based football discussion forum bigfooty.com, in this thread based on my very important announcement. And I will do that, but I will be brief, for I don’t wish to take away from my very important announcement on which this thread is based.

The enjoyment we experienced was simply thrilling – and I mean thrilling. There was one point where Smartys Power played a “Reverse” UNO™ card, disadvantaging the gameplay of GWS Goose, and it went OFF.

The milk, that is – the game went so long that the milk curdled.

And this seemed to displease GWS Goose even more than a disadvantage in gameplay caused by Smartys Power playing a “Reverse” UNO™ card.

GWS Goose was mad, and it showed. Their left – that’s their LEFT – eye started opening and closing periodically. Of course, manangatang pointed out that GWS Goose’s right eye was doing similarly, and that this motion was commonly referred to as a “wink” – and mang was right.

GWS Goose was blinking completely normally, and it just showed how ANGRY they were about their gameplay being disadvantaged by Smartys Power playing a “Reverse” UNO™ card.

As you can no doubt imagine – and you should imagine this right now – the room was full of tension.

Of course, this was mostly because Marlowe had set up a series of very tightly-strung clotheslines, from one end of the present environment – that is, Yak’s Christmas tree room, to the other side of the present environment – that is, Yak’s Christmas tree room.

por_please_ya wasn’t happy about this.

porps said, “Marlowe, those clotheslines – the ones you’ve set up here in the present environment – that is, Yak’s Christmas tree room – are simply too tightly strung. TOO. TIGHTLY. STRUNG.”

Mang said – with an extraordinarily cheeky smile – “PROVE IT.”

porps said, “Yakker, back me up here.”

Yak said, “sorry mate, what was that?”

cats2rise found this UNBELIEVABLY humorous. He said, “I find this UNBELIEVABLY humorous.” And he started doing a series of jerky movements – ostensibly in celebration.

BLUEALLTHRU said, “cats, what are you doing?”

cats2rise said, “I’m doing a series of jerky movements – ostensibly in celebration.”

But in his enthusiasm, cats2rise did something saucy.

That is to say, he accidentally – accidentally – made and packaged a niche series of small jars, each filled with a different type of hot sauce.

But he also knocked over a glass that por_please_ya had left on the table, and there was CHAOS. Absolute bloody spine-tingling chaos.

Two things happened at once: the contents of porps’ glass – that is, the table of contents outlining everything included in the glass – spread ALL OVER the bloody carpet. It was bloody, of course, for reasons that remain unknown to this day.

And in the chaos, BLUEALLTHRU – my biggest fan – also backed into Yakker’s ceiling fan Switch. That is, Yak’s Nintendo Switch, which he keeps on his ceiling fan – but BLUEALLTHRU also turned on the ceiling fan.

And due to the combination of porps’ glass being knocked over and the ceiling fan being turned on, things were going EVERYWHERE.

Marlowe said, “everything is spilling!”

Smartys Power said, “the fan is blowing everything all over the place, like a blizzard!”

mang said, “the spilth blizzard!”

I said, “the spilth blizzard?!”

I continued, “that reminds me of a poster from the online anonymous text-based football discussion forum bigfooty.com: PMBangers!”

And then – and this is the bit you won’t believe – our dear friend PMBangers appeared at the window, and said, “oh hello you cheeky devils – I’ve been here the whole time!”

It was a hilarious mix-up, and the ten of us – that’s manangatang, Yakker, Marlowe, BLUEALLTHRU, por_please_ya, Smartys Power, cats2rise, GWS Goose, PMBangers and Headless from the online anonymous text-based football discussion forum bigfooty.com – are still laughing about it now.

~~~ to be continued ~~~​
 
Last edited:
Nov 7, 2017
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