- Aug 24, 2000
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And in news just in from radio TT AM (TigerTank Ambient Music) – The AFL has announced that in order to freshen up the image of each of the clubs, each AFL club must replace their current club song with a piece of popular music.
A list of the songs selected or currently being considered by AFL clubs has been leaked to TT AM by an unnamed AFL source with glasses and a fake moustache:
Adelaide: Hasn’t been announced yet although are expected to chose something by Cheryl Crow, The Counting Crows or a new song to be performed by Russell Crowe.
Brisbane: The Lion Sleeps Tonight (The Tokens) would explain their inability to win a night final in Melbourne, although anything by White Lion or even Lion-all Richie may also be among those being considered.
Carlton: Blue (Eiffel 65) was the originally suggested choice although Carlton players including Koutoufidis and Christou are believed to prefer In the Navy by the Village People. Apparently they already have the costumes.
Collingwood: Ebony and Ivory (Paul McCartney) was the almost unanimous choice although Nathan Buckley reportedly pushed hard for I’m a One Man Band (Georgie Leonard).
Essendon: Bomb-alao (Gypsy Kings) and Sex Bomb (Tom Jones) were considered and rejected in favour of Kevin Sheedy’s choice - Most people I know think that I’m Crazy (Billy Thorpe). James Hird is rumoured to have lobbied hard for the Divinyls’ I touch Myself.
Fremantle: Some team members wanted Purple Rain (Prince) while others preferred Ship of Fools (World Party) but Damien Drum chose Sitting on the Dock of the Bay (Otis Redding). Drum is reported to feel the line “Sitting on the dock of the bay, wasting time” to be a metaphor for his entire AFL coaching career.
Geelong: Small Town (John Cougar – sort of a cat) was chosen (mercifully) ahead of What’s new Pussycat by Tom Jones.
Hawthorn: The fashionable, well-dressed, brown and yellow-uniformed boys from Glenferrie wanted Puttin on the Ritz (Taco) although wiser heads prevailed and Cindy Lauper’s Girls just wanna have Fun was eventually selected. "Cindy" Crawford is said to be ecstatic.
Kangaroos: Songs by Crowded House were rejected as being in very poor taste by Kangaroos supporters, while few took Captain Wayne’s request for Mariah Carey seriously. Eventually settled for Talking Heads’ Road to Nowhere
Melbourne: Rabbi Joseph demanded the club song be a Barbara Steisand number, so The way we were was chosen almost by default. This has disappointed some older Melbourne members who thought Elton John’s Sad Songs beautifully described the club’s last 30 odd years.
Port Adelaide: The Power (Snap) and The Power of Love (Huey Lewis and the News OR Celine Dion) are still being considered but Mark Williams is understood to be favouring You’re History by Shakespears Sister.
Richmond: Eye of the Tiger eventually won out, although not before a scare. Apparently Nick Daffy and Wayne Campbell almost succeeded in having I am Woman – hear me Roar (Helen Reddy) installed as the Tiger’s club song, while Brad Ottens was keen on One Bourbon, one Scotch and one Beer (George Thoroughgood).
St Kilda: Saints players may have wanted The Impossible Dream (Elvis Presley) although Loser (Beck) is considered more realistic. Non-metropolitan Saints fans are said to think that Patsy Cline’s I Fall to Pieces would be most accurate and could appeal to country music fans everywhere.
Sydney Swans: Rejecting the push for popular music, Sydney elected to use Tchaikovski’s Swan Lake as its club song, proving once-and-for-all what pompous gits people from Sydney are.
Western Bulldogs: Unfortunately for everyone, the Bulldogs completely wussed out, choosing to go with the Baha Men’s Who let the Dogs out. The Angels’ The Dogs are Talking or even AC/DC’s Dirty Deeds should have had equal claims.
West Coast Eagles: West Coast’s more “progressive” and “sexually-liberal” players are believed to be so delighted with the choice of the Petshop Boys’ Go West as the Eagles club song that they are intending to have a float in this year’s Sydney Mardi Gras. It is believed the float will be large enough to hold most of the West Coast forward line.
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TT - Obligatory bad-tempered Richmond supporter
[This message has been edited by TigerTank (edited 12 January 2001).]
A list of the songs selected or currently being considered by AFL clubs has been leaked to TT AM by an unnamed AFL source with glasses and a fake moustache:
Adelaide: Hasn’t been announced yet although are expected to chose something by Cheryl Crow, The Counting Crows or a new song to be performed by Russell Crowe.
Brisbane: The Lion Sleeps Tonight (The Tokens) would explain their inability to win a night final in Melbourne, although anything by White Lion or even Lion-all Richie may also be among those being considered.
Carlton: Blue (Eiffel 65) was the originally suggested choice although Carlton players including Koutoufidis and Christou are believed to prefer In the Navy by the Village People. Apparently they already have the costumes.
Collingwood: Ebony and Ivory (Paul McCartney) was the almost unanimous choice although Nathan Buckley reportedly pushed hard for I’m a One Man Band (Georgie Leonard).
Essendon: Bomb-alao (Gypsy Kings) and Sex Bomb (Tom Jones) were considered and rejected in favour of Kevin Sheedy’s choice - Most people I know think that I’m Crazy (Billy Thorpe). James Hird is rumoured to have lobbied hard for the Divinyls’ I touch Myself.
Fremantle: Some team members wanted Purple Rain (Prince) while others preferred Ship of Fools (World Party) but Damien Drum chose Sitting on the Dock of the Bay (Otis Redding). Drum is reported to feel the line “Sitting on the dock of the bay, wasting time” to be a metaphor for his entire AFL coaching career.
Geelong: Small Town (John Cougar – sort of a cat) was chosen (mercifully) ahead of What’s new Pussycat by Tom Jones.
Hawthorn: The fashionable, well-dressed, brown and yellow-uniformed boys from Glenferrie wanted Puttin on the Ritz (Taco) although wiser heads prevailed and Cindy Lauper’s Girls just wanna have Fun was eventually selected. "Cindy" Crawford is said to be ecstatic.
Kangaroos: Songs by Crowded House were rejected as being in very poor taste by Kangaroos supporters, while few took Captain Wayne’s request for Mariah Carey seriously. Eventually settled for Talking Heads’ Road to Nowhere
Melbourne: Rabbi Joseph demanded the club song be a Barbara Steisand number, so The way we were was chosen almost by default. This has disappointed some older Melbourne members who thought Elton John’s Sad Songs beautifully described the club’s last 30 odd years.
Port Adelaide: The Power (Snap) and The Power of Love (Huey Lewis and the News OR Celine Dion) are still being considered but Mark Williams is understood to be favouring You’re History by Shakespears Sister.
Richmond: Eye of the Tiger eventually won out, although not before a scare. Apparently Nick Daffy and Wayne Campbell almost succeeded in having I am Woman – hear me Roar (Helen Reddy) installed as the Tiger’s club song, while Brad Ottens was keen on One Bourbon, one Scotch and one Beer (George Thoroughgood).
St Kilda: Saints players may have wanted The Impossible Dream (Elvis Presley) although Loser (Beck) is considered more realistic. Non-metropolitan Saints fans are said to think that Patsy Cline’s I Fall to Pieces would be most accurate and could appeal to country music fans everywhere.
Sydney Swans: Rejecting the push for popular music, Sydney elected to use Tchaikovski’s Swan Lake as its club song, proving once-and-for-all what pompous gits people from Sydney are.
Western Bulldogs: Unfortunately for everyone, the Bulldogs completely wussed out, choosing to go with the Baha Men’s Who let the Dogs out. The Angels’ The Dogs are Talking or even AC/DC’s Dirty Deeds should have had equal claims.
West Coast Eagles: West Coast’s more “progressive” and “sexually-liberal” players are believed to be so delighted with the choice of the Petshop Boys’ Go West as the Eagles club song that they are intending to have a float in this year’s Sydney Mardi Gras. It is believed the float will be large enough to hold most of the West Coast forward line.
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TT - Obligatory bad-tempered Richmond supporter
[This message has been edited by TigerTank (edited 12 January 2001).]
