INSIDE WORD: UMPIRES IN CRISIS

[FastLane]

Have it on extremely good authority that the umpiring fraternity is in crisis- due to the significant dilemma they will be faced with in week 1 of the Finals.


It has been alleged that an unprecedented number of umpires have requested they not be asked to officiate the Hawthorn vs Geelong game.

When asked for an explanation as to what was behind this decision, a senior umpire, who agreed to speak on the provision that his name be kept secret, stated:

"it's like being asked to pick your favourite child. I mean I love Hawthorn, because they have such great blokes like Hodgey, Lewy and Mitch, not to mention Sizzler and Silk, oh, and Poppy and Brooooooooost and Jack. But the Cats have some of my favourites like Selly, Jimmy, Harry, and that bloke who lost a kidney. The recruitment of Danger has been a masterstroke, as it has given them even greater free kick drawing power, as nothing says 'give them a free' like a fast, funny guy with straightened hair screaming/sooking at you with Selly. I asked my wife what to do, and she replied, "Who do you think of when making love to me?" I broke down and cried. "I love them all!", I sobbed.

 

[BallaratBulldog]

Fake, they would be lining up to to get Hawthorn over the line or they will get dropped for the Grand final. They wouldn't not ask for it.

 

[HairyO]

Would be d i v v y ' d in Teh Bae. Would be removed for not being scandalous enough for Scandals and Rumours. Probably right at home here.

 

[eddiebankbalance]

inside each other

 

[Supercoach Bargain]

Four umpires would make a bigger goo fest.

 

[kickazz]

It is one thing to get hot under the collar about umpires during, or soon after a game.

This OP is just sad.

 

[Farm Boy]

OP is a stain.

 

[Seeds]

Have it on extremely good authority that the umpiring fraternity is in crisis- due to the significant dilemma they will be faced with in week 1 of the Finals.


It has been alleged that an unprecedented number of umpires have requested they not be asked to officiate the Hawthorn vs Geelong game.

When asked for an explanation as to what was behind this decision, a senior umpire, who agreed to speak on the provision that his name be kept secret, stated:

"it's like being asked to pick your favourite child. I mean I love Hawthorn, because they have such great blokes like Hodgey, Lewy and Mitch, not to mention Sizzler and Silk, oh, and Poppy and Brooooooooost and Jack. But the Cats have some of my favourites like Selly, Jimmy, Harry, and that bloke who lost a kidney. The recruitment of Danger has been a masterstroke, as it has given them even greater free kick drawing power, as nothing says 'give them a free' like a fast, funny guy with straightened hair screaming/sooking at you with Selly. I asked my wife what to do, and she replied, "Who do you think of when making love to me?" I broke down and cried. "I love them all!", I sobbed.

Can you tell the umpires they are suppossed to love us and not hate us. We are one of the lowest teams in the comp on the free kick differential despite being a top four team.

 

[Rotayjay]

It's actually an amusing OP, but belongs in the Bay.