Is this workplace bullying? need help!

Dan Moody

That, was liquid football
Apr 3, 2007
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Go to a doctor and go out on stress leave.

Whilst on stress leave use that time to seek alternative employment.
Nope.
If you go on stress leave, it does create a stigma that will travel with you.
Unfortunately, when reference checks are done, questions usually sounding like " have they ever had unusually excessive amounts of sick leave?" are asked.
My advice, stick fast, but search like mad for another job. This is obviously workplace bullying but she needs to diarise EVERYTHING to have a chance of winning any sort of compensation.
A s**t situation to be in.
 
Apr 18, 2005
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Document everything. Start looking for work elsewhere. Family businesses are hard work. I've worked in the them for the last 4 years and there will always be a preference to the family members and not to you. It will start out well, and everyone will try and be professional and equal, but eventually the balance of power start to drift away from you and you'll be fighting an uphill battle. Small business is hard work, primarily because the owners will just work work and work. There is no time away from work, and you'll be expected to adopt a similar mentality. And there is no room for progression, the only thing you'll take out of it is the experience you get.
 
Apr 18, 2005
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The most important thing is your reference. Leaving without a good reference means you might as well have not worked somewhere for the last 4 years. Leave on good terms, suck it up for a while and just be a yes yes yes person, work overtime, and start looking for work. You should not have to give her extra ammo. Remember, the reference is the key here.
 
yep, take your employer out for a glass of wine and thank them for the opportunity and experience.

Provide them your notice and explain you are willing to help out to train your replacement (they won't accept and that's fine).

Life is too short to have enemies.
 
Apr 18, 2005
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Just try and think where the balance of power is, and it clearly with them. You need them more than they need you. You need that reference, they can simply place another job ad and find someone when they are ready. As an employee, your rights really are restricted, regardless of enforcing them through the avenues you have available, prospective employers simply won't look at you favorably if you have been seen as a 'one of those troublemakers'. If your new employer has to trawl through your history to find that you don't have a reference because you sued for workplace bullying or took stress leave because of personal conflict with management, or unless you are someone who has a really unique skill set, are in demand in your industry, or a being head hunted, you will simply get overlooked. Remember, employers stick tight, as do Business owners, especially small ones. They know the grind, they know what is involved, there is a constant focus on efficiency and minimising costs, they won't give you the time of the day if you have a black mark on your record.
 

Kynge of Begrem

Norm Smith Medallist
Jan 13, 2011
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I'd say leave.
Yes, it sucks, and no, she shouldn't have to...but sometimes that's just life.

I'm an HR Manager for a large company and I can see where things have gone wrong and are questionable from the company, but it's the bosses daughter. In my experience, those No Win, No Charge lawyers tell you what you want to hear and you end up getting some 'go away' money, but the employment relationship is untenable after that.
I have worked in the IR/HR arena for getting on to 20 years. I agree with this 100 per cent. It is best to walk away.
 

Puddy

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Cut your losses and walk away.

It might be enjoyable to burn the bridge at the time but in the near future you will regret it
 

the_fresh

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I thought I should give an update.
At the moment she has taken stress leave through work cover, finds out tomorrow if its approved or not.

She got a 2nd written warning this one was for "not giving the boss access to a google doc quick enough.
She explained why she couldn't give access straight away, saw the GM and still got the warning.
The next day she filed for stress leave.

So far whats happened:
1) letter of concern was mostly made up
2) was "invited" to a meeting where the accuser was to be the judge of the outcome (illegal)
3) had a role change after she filed a complaint about targeted action
4) had that complaint dismissed as "just a misunderstanding"
5) was written up for making the comment "yep, of course you do"
6) had a false complaint made about her and was again "invited to a meeting", witness backed up my GF's side
7) had her role description changed, items removed, items added and it had her signature on it, has asked at least once a day for the original hard copy.
8) had a number of emails late on a saturday night accusing her wasting paper by her boss when some signs had to be reprinted, she was told to reprint them by the GM
9) had her emails accessed by her boss (needs to give 14 days written notice)
10 lost for 3rd quarter bonus for 3 reasons, 2 were made up, the other one was a staff members issue with training, later found out the real reason
11) was abused on the shop floor in front of customers for being late, was in fact there at 8am when she started at 10am, but was printing something for her boss who lied about the deadline
12) was written up for the above matter
13) filed for stress leave
14) was told that she would not be paid until leave is approved by work cover when in fact the pay comes out of your leave & sick pay until approved. email was sent at 10pm the day after payday
15) pay has been messed up each of the 4 weeks
16) still waiting on payslips 9payslips must be sent before you're paid)
17) Bosses daughter sent email guilting her into a return to work
18) she went to hire something on the weekend, was told that she must pay the full price of the item before they can release the goods, this has never happened to a staff member in the 5 years she's been there.

Her course of action so far
1) report it to fair work
2) report to work cover
3) take stress leave
4) file a police report for "making & using a false document, producing a false document to mislead - up to 10 years jail
5) file a police report for bullying against bosses daughter, the GM & the boss - all 3 go to the states at least twice a year, if found guilty can be banned from entering
6) called crimestoppers over reported & rumoured drug dealing, GM spent time in rehab and its long been rumour about the bosses extra income, staff have often joked about how he gives it away


What's the end game here?

It doesn't matter how much she likes working there, she needs to start looking for a new job - immediately.

Her position is untenable.

They sound like complete and utter dicks, but they own the company - this is a war you won't win.

If you want to make an issue of it, fair enough, it sounds like you should, but she needs to find another job; she cannot continue to work there with those people in the management structure.

Edit - what is the actual role? $14k bonus PA is pretty damned good for what sounds like retail work.
Its retail and fine art printing, she's one of the best printers in Australia. She didn't get a pay rise when she became manager and this was a way of getting around it.She could earn double it if she moved, but like I've said, has always loved the place, that has changed
 
I thought I should give an update.
At the moment she has taken stress leave through work cover, finds out tomorrow if its approved or not.

She got a 2nd written warning this one was for "not giving the boss access to a google doc quick enough.
She explained why she couldn't give access straight away, saw the GM and still got the warning.
The next day she filed for stress leave.

So far whats happened:
1) letter of concern was mostly made up
2) was "invited" to a meeting where the accuser was to be the judge of the outcome (illegal)
3) had a role change after she filed a complaint about targeted action
4) had that complaint dismissed as "just a misunderstanding"
5) was written up for making the comment "yep, of course you do"
6) had a false complaint made about her and was again "invited to a meeting", witness backed up my GF's side
7) had her role description changed, items removed, items added and it had her signature on it, has asked at least once a day for the original hard copy.
8) had a number of emails late on a saturday night accusing her wasting paper by her boss when some signs had to be reprinted, she was told to reprint them by the GM
9) had her emails accessed by her boss (needs to give 14 days written notice)
10 lost for 3rd quarter bonus for 3 reasons, 2 were made up, the other one was a staff members issue with training, later found out the real reason
11) was abused on the shop floor in front of customers for being late, was in fact there at 8am when she started at 10am, but was printing something for her boss who lied about the deadline
12) was written up for the above matter
13) filed for stress leave
14) was told that she would not be paid until leave is approved by work cover when in fact the pay comes out of your leave & sick pay until approved. email was sent at 10pm the day after payday
15) pay has been messed up each of the 4 weeks
16) still waiting on payslips 9payslips must be sent before you're paid)
17) Bosses daughter sent email guilting her into a return to work
18) she went to hire something on the weekend, was told that she must pay the full price of the item before they can release the goods, this has never happened to a staff member in the 5 years she's been there.

Her course of action so far
1) report it to fair work
2) report to work cover
3) take stress leave
4) file a police report for "making & using a false document, producing a false document to mislead - up to 10 years jail
5) file a police report for bullying against bosses daughter, the GM & the boss - all 3 go to the states at least twice a year, if found guilty can be banned from entering
6) called crimestoppers over reported & rumoured drug dealing, GM spent time in rehab and its long been rumour about the bosses extra income, staff have often joked about how he gives it away



Its retail and fine art printing, she's one of the best printers in Australia. She didn't get a pay rise when she became manager and this was a way of getting around it.She could earn double it if she moved, but like I've said, has always loved the place, that has changed

Has she applied anywhere else
 
I thought I should give an update.
At the moment she has taken stress leave through work cover, finds out tomorrow if its approved or not.

She got a 2nd written warning this one was for "not giving the boss access to a google doc quick enough.
She explained why she couldn't give access straight away, saw the GM and still got the warning.
The next day she filed for stress leave.

So far whats happened:
1) letter of concern was mostly made up
2) was "invited" to a meeting where the accuser was to be the judge of the outcome (illegal)
3) had a role change after she filed a complaint about targeted action
4) had that complaint dismissed as "just a misunderstanding"
5) was written up for making the comment "yep, of course you do"
6) had a false complaint made about her and was again "invited to a meeting", witness backed up my GF's side
7) had her role description changed, items removed, items added and it had her signature on it, has asked at least once a day for the original hard copy.
8) had a number of emails late on a saturday night accusing her wasting paper by her boss when some signs had to be reprinted, she was told to reprint them by the GM
9) had her emails accessed by her boss (needs to give 14 days written notice)
10 lost for 3rd quarter bonus for 3 reasons, 2 were made up, the other one was a staff members issue with training, later found out the real reason
11) was abused on the shop floor in front of customers for being late, was in fact there at 8am when she started at 10am, but was printing something for her boss who lied about the deadline
12) was written up for the above matter
13) filed for stress leave
14) was told that she would not be paid until leave is approved by work cover when in fact the pay comes out of your leave & sick pay until approved. email was sent at 10pm the day after payday
15) pay has been messed up each of the 4 weeks
16) still waiting on payslips 9payslips must be sent before you're paid)
17) Bosses daughter sent email guilting her into a return to work
18) she went to hire something on the weekend, was told that she must pay the full price of the item before they can release the goods, this has never happened to a staff member in the 5 years she's been there.

Her course of action so far
1) report it to fair work
2) report to work cover
3) take stress leave
4) file a police report for "making & using a false document, producing a false document to mislead - up to 10 years jail
5) file a police report for bullying against bosses daughter, the GM & the boss - all 3 go to the states at least twice a year, if found guilty can be banned from entering
6) called crimestoppers over reported & rumoured drug dealing, GM spent time in rehab and its long been rumour about the bosses extra income, staff have often joked about how he gives it away



Its retail and fine art printing, she's one of the best printers in Australia. She didn't get a pay rise when she became manager and this was a way of getting around it.She could earn double it if she moved, but like I've said, has always loved the place, that has changed

This is clearly very stressful for the individual, as this is not normal behaviour of someone in a calm state of mind.

What is her end goal?

It sounds like it's ruining her life and probably has ruined her chances of employment in the future. Perhaps take her out for a drink and advise her to step back from the problem as this ends nowhere positive.
 

Kynge of Begrem

Norm Smith Medallist
Jan 13, 2011
7,067
5,895
on bail at the time
AFL Club
Collingwood
I thought I should give an update.
At the moment she has taken stress leave through work cover, finds out tomorrow if its approved or not.

She got a 2nd written warning this one was for "not giving the boss access to a google doc quick enough.
She explained why she couldn't give access straight away, saw the GM and still got the warning.
The next day she filed for stress leave.

So far whats happened:
1) letter of concern was mostly made up
2) was "invited" to a meeting where the accuser was to be the judge of the outcome (illegal)
3) had a role change after she filed a complaint about targeted action
4) had that complaint dismissed as "just a misunderstanding"
5) was written up for making the comment "yep, of course you do"
6) had a false complaint made about her and was again "invited to a meeting", witness backed up my GF's side
7) had her role description changed, items removed, items added and it had her signature on it, has asked at least once a day for the original hard copy.
8) had a number of emails late on a saturday night accusing her wasting paper by her boss when some signs had to be reprinted, she was told to reprint them by the GM
9) had her emails accessed by her boss (needs to give 14 days written notice)
10 lost for 3rd quarter bonus for 3 reasons, 2 were made up, the other one was a staff members issue with training, later found out the real reason
11) was abused on the shop floor in front of customers for being late, was in fact there at 8am when she started at 10am, but was printing something for her boss who lied about the deadline
12) was written up for the above matter
13) filed for stress leave
14) was told that she would not be paid until leave is approved by work cover when in fact the pay comes out of your leave & sick pay until approved. email was sent at 10pm the day after payday
15) pay has been messed up each of the 4 weeks
16) still waiting on payslips 9payslips must be sent before you're paid)
17) Bosses daughter sent email guilting her into a return to work
18) she went to hire something on the weekend, was told that she must pay the full price of the item before they can release the goods, this has never happened to a staff member in the 5 years she's been there.

Her course of action so far
1) report it to fair work
2) report to work cover
3) take stress leave
4) file a police report for "making & using a false document, producing a false document to mislead - up to 10 years jail
5) file a police report for bullying against bosses daughter, the GM & the boss - all 3 go to the states at least twice a year, if found guilty can be banned from entering
6) called crimestoppers over reported & rumoured drug dealing, GM spent time in rehab and its long been rumour about the bosses extra income, staff have often joked about how he gives it away



Its retail and fine art printing, she's one of the best printers in Australia. She didn't get a pay rise when she became manager and this was a way of getting around it.She could earn double it if she moved, but like I've said, has always loved the place, that has changed
I have had extensive WR/IR/HR experience, she needs to walk away. No good will come of this, it is going to make her unwell.
 

Kynge of Begrem

Norm Smith Medallist
Jan 13, 2011
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on bail at the time
AFL Club
Collingwood
Actually, the absolute best thing would be to try and negotiate some sort of severance.

I am not sure who you are getting advice from, but I don't think they are really helping the situation.

The best thing to do would be to sit down with the boss, and say that it is clear the employment relationship is severely strained and attempt to negotiate some go away money in exchange for a deed of release that there will be no further action on the claims she has made etc.

Make sure she is aware that she will never get what most people in her position want - an apology or anything resembling justice. She needs to get what she can, and leave.
 
Actually, the absolute best thing would be to try and negotiate some sort of severance.

I am not sure who you are getting advice from, but I don't think they are really helping the situation.

The best thing to do would be to sit down with the boss, and say that it is clear the employment relationship is severely strained and attempt to negotiate some go away money in exchange for a deed of release that there will be no further action on the claims she has made etc.

Make sure she is aware that she will never get what most people in her position want - an apology or anything resembling justice. She needs to get what she can, and leave.

and a two-way penalty clause in the agreement, which is triggered if she or the previous employer do anything unprofessional or slag each other off to third parties

the past needs to be the past
 
Sep 3, 2011
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Called crimestoppers over 'rumoured' drug dealings....

Now come on... that doesn't have anything to do with the 'bullying' that is going on. Actually seems a bit petty.

Im sorry to say this but she has completly gone about this all the wrong way. She could get paid double to work somewhere else you say? Well she should have gone and got a job somewhere else. Doesn't sound like things were going to change at her work place. It was never going to go back to how she used to love it.

Really doesn't seem like you guys have thought about her end game here... more seems like you are just trying to get back at the boss, more than anything.

Anyway I honestly wish her good luck. Hope it works out for her (whatever that desired result is).

Keep us posted.
 
Called crimestoppers over 'rumoured' drug dealings....

Now come on... that doesn't have anything to do with the 'bullying' that is going on. Actually seems a bit petty.

Im sorry to say this but she has completly gone about this all the wrong way. She could get paid double to work somewhere else you say? Well she should have gone and got a job somewhere else. Doesn't sound like things were going to change at her work place. It was never going to go back to how she used to love it.

Really doesn't seem like you guys have thought about her end game here... more seems like you are just trying to get back at the boss, more than anything.

Anyway I honestly wish her good luck. Hope it works out for her (whatever that desired result is).

Keep us posted.

Yep

Imagine the misery this is causing both sides!

Standing back, imagine being a business owner acting in good faith and putting your life savings on the line and working hard.

Then for whatever reason the wheels start falling off because of I house fighting. You have a business to run, tax compliance, financials, cash flow, client management etc and on top of that a giant HR s**t fight.

I'm not suggesting one side is right or wrong but a chat over a coffee outside of the office should have resolved this. By the time someone runs off to a third party, it's time to have some perspective and resign. Sure negotiate severance but the owner can't step away.

After hearing about the drug complaint, she should be ashamed of herself, apologise and just leave.
 

Bomberboyokay

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Your partner should put her focus into finding a new job and the above suggestions about severance seem wise (I don't know much about how that stuff works - or how long she can afford to be unemployed for, for that matter).

It's irretrievable. The owner's daughter is not going to leave (and from the way you tell it the business will have troubles long after your partner has left) and your partner will get booted when the contract ends.
 
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