zackah
Jobe > You
- Moderator
- #1
With Queensland coming an embarrassing last in the nation's vaccine (its-not-a) race, its clear the state government has failed in its duty to protect its citizens. It's time to hand the reigns over. As we know, Essendon has a long, proud and successful history of jabs and I say need to take over the vaccine roll out immediately to free us from our non lockdown hell.
Here is my pitch to Queenslanders on the implementation of the Essendon Vaccine Rollout Strategy (TM)*. For obvious reasons I have tried not to use too many big words.
Worried about getting a blot clot from AstraZeneca or heart inflammation from Pfizer? With the EVRS (TM) you don't know what vaccine you are getting so you can relax, completely oblivious to any side effects you may get now, or into the future.
Concerned you will get a sore arm in your wanking arm (lets face it no one can switch)? The EVRS (TM) jabs you directly into your stomach so you can continue holding your sausage hostage in the days immediately following your jab
Don't want to fill out the endless forms online and in person when getting the jab? The EVRS (TM) requires just a simple signature on a pre prepared permission slip. Hell you don't even have to read it (we know 70% of you can't anyway).
Want to get the jab in the comfort of your own surroundings instead of going offsite to a
Concerned about your privacy and records being held with the government? Unlike other programs the EVRS (TM) has an audit requirement to keep records for a period of 3 days. Beyond that, you can be confident we know nothing about you, or what you have taken.
<for inclusions in advertising north of Noosa> The EVRS (TM) is an entirely anti daylight saving vaccination program so you can get jabbed knowing the safety of your curtain colouring is protected
There you have it. The benefits are undeniable. Annastasia get on it immediately. Your state needs you!
#whateverqldtakes
*Participation in the EVRS (TM) may result in exclusion from certain activities for a period of up to 12 months. This excludes drinking rum, xxxx and ripping the testicles off the towns bull statue, so you're fine.
Here is my pitch to Queenslanders on the implementation of the Essendon Vaccine Rollout Strategy (TM)*. For obvious reasons I have tried not to use too many big words.
Worried about getting a blot clot from AstraZeneca or heart inflammation from Pfizer? With the EVRS (TM) you don't know what vaccine you are getting so you can relax, completely oblivious to any side effects you may get now, or into the future. Concerned you will get a sore arm in your wanking arm (lets face it no one can switch)? The EVRS (TM) jabs you directly into your stomach so you can continue holding your sausage hostage in the days immediately following your jab Don't want to fill out the endless forms online and in person when getting the jab? The EVRS (TM) requires just a simple signature on a pre prepared permission slip. Hell you don't even have to read it (we know 70% of you can't anyway). Concerned about your privacy and records being held with the government? Unlike other programs the EVRS (TM) has an audit requirement to keep records for a period of 3 days. Beyond that, you can be confident we know nothing about you, or what you have taken. <for inclusions in advertising north of Noosa> The EVRS (TM) is an entirely anti daylight saving vaccination program so you can get jabbed knowing the safety of your curtain colouring is protectedThere you have it. The benefits are undeniable. Annastasia get on it immediately. Your state needs you!
#whateverqldtakes
*Participation in the EVRS (TM) may result in exclusion from certain activities for a period of up to 12 months. This excludes drinking rum, xxxx and ripping the testicles off the towns bull statue, so you're fine.
