Rumour Jack Watts off field issues.

carnaroys08

Cancelled
Sep 4, 2007
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To the tune of "Benny & the Jets"

Heeey kid, your looking kinda boring.
I've got groovy boardies but the'll cost ya more than forty.
Tonight we swim with **** sooo stick arooouuund.
 

Slats

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Sep 18, 2013
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Cs1cmiP.jpg
 

Bad Horse

Petfood
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Mar 26, 2016
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Apologies to Simon and Garfunkel

I am just a flanker
Though my story's now got old
I have squandered my career
For a pair of juicy mammaries, sweet t***ies
And lines of blow
A man can't see a pool and a pair like that
And not just have some snow

When I left my home and my family
I was no more than a boy
Then they sent me to the Demons
In the ruins of the Junction Oval
Running scared,
Skirting packs, seeking out the cheap possessions
Where a forward shouldn't go
Are we tanking or not tanking?
Only Jesus Christ would know.

Swimming and ****

*snare drum*

Swimming and ****, swimming and ****, swimming and ****

*snare drum*

Swimming and ****, swimming and **** swimming a-aaaand....****



Asking only a 3 year contract
I come looking for a club
But I got no offers
Except a come-on from mad Ken Hinkley
down Alberton way
I didnt care
At that time I felt so damn lonesome,
A pool, a pair, some blow was all I wanted there.

Swimming and ****

*snare drum*

Swimming and ****, swimming and ****, swimming and ****

*snare drum*

Swimming and ****, swimming and **** swimming a-aaaand....****


Then I'm laying out my new uniform
And wishing I was gone
Going home
Where the gulag feel of Adelaide
Aint bleeding me
Leading me
Going home

In Noosa stands a flanker
And a forward by his trade
And he carries the reminders
A new "messiah" to the Demons
Then trashed until he cried out,
In his anger and his shame
"I am leaving, I am leaving"
But the flanker still remains, mmm mmm


Swimming and ****

*snare drum*

Swimming and ****, swimming and ****, swimming and ****

*snare drum*

Swimming and ****, swimming and **** swimming a-aaaand....****


*Performed by the Port Adelaide synchronised swimming song troupe. No running by the pool, no splashing, and remember, cocaine is insoluble in water so you can always hoover it up if you splash those t***ies accidentally

The promise of finals is a choke hazard, so always have a lifeguard handy for CPR.

 
Last edited:

SterlingArcher

Brownlow Medallist
May 16, 2014
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Boxing for cardio is different to boxing to fight

He'd still be able to do it a lot better than your average guy on the street.

Let's be honest, there's 3 things that everyone overrates themselves with - driving, parenting, and fighting. Every adult male reckons they have those 3 things figured out and could do it better than others. A tall strong AFL player could drop most of Bigfooty without a sweat.
 
Anyone creative enough to come up with a "swimming and ****" song to the tune of the Addams family song with some further lyrics about Watts in it. Singing along to it would really liven up the Port games next year.

Breasts are fine and dandy,
They really make me randy,
So load up on nose candy,
Swimming and ****.

Forget the footy coliseum
The pool's the place to see 'em
It's cold so their high beaming
Swimming and ****.

[snap twice]
(Toke)
[snap twice]
(Float)
[snap twice]
(Breast Stroke)

So I'm over this footballing
My new career is calling
Buy my shorts or your freeballing
Swimming and ****.
 
Nov 9, 2007
6,943
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The honorable loss factory
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Breasts are fine and dandy,
They really make me randy,
So load up on nose candy,
Swimming and ****.

Forget the footy coliseum
The pool's the place to see 'em
It's cold so their high beaming
Swimming and ****.

[snap twice]
(Toke)
[snap twice]
(Float)
[snap twice]
(Breast Stroke)

So I'm over this footballing
My new career is calling
Buy my shorts or your freeballing
Swimming and ****.
i'm hanging for the music video to this one
 
Apr 14, 2016
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Will be delisted end of 2019. #bookmarkit
Watts is my boy, i will always go out to bat for him, but this is how to waste away a promising Athletic Career. (doing something any of us would kill to have a lifestyle like)
How about you attack a contest with some ferocity for once Wattsy?
 

Mentallo

Premiership Player
Apr 23, 2005
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Your minds eye.
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Probably already mentioned somewhere in this thread but it was well known by the Demons that Jack had a little problem with the snow stuff and both parties agreed that a change of scenery would do him the world of good.

Oh well.

Source: A good mate and one eyed Melbourne supporter who is very well connected told me just after he was traded in 2017.
He was shattered as he liked Watts as a player and didn't want to believe that he would be involved in that sort of activity.
 
Jun 23, 2013
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Probably already mentioned somewhere in this thread but it was well known by the Demons that Jack had a little problem with the snow stuff and both parties agreed that a change of scenery would do him the world of good.

Oh well.

Source: A good mate and one eyed Melbourne supporter who is very well connected told me just after he was traded in 2017.
He was shattered as he liked Watts as a player and didn't want to believe that he would be involved in that sort of activity.
Very similar situation with someone else who departed the dees recently, could argue he put in more but Goodwin doesn’t want dickheads he wants dedication and not pulling others down.
 

StillAtLarge

Norm Smith Medallist
May 12, 2015
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Very similar situation with someone else who departed the dees recently, could argue he put in more but Goodwin doesn’t want dickheads he wants dedication and not pulling others down.
Yep, dees did extremely well to jettison Hogan, all whilst pretending they were happy to keep him
 

Handsome.B.Wonderful

Premiership Player
Jan 13, 2006
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I think Watts has lost the benefit of the doubt. Once the vision you refer to spreads we will all get to create a looped gif of Jack’s two favourite things in one place.

Just putting it out there, the latest video is legal snuff Wiesn Koks out of a retail bottle bought at Octoberfest.

It’s a snuff made of glucose and menthol, not cocaine.


.....snorted off ****
 
Jul 12, 2011
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Just putting it out there, the latest video is legal snuff Wiesn Koks out of a retail bottle bought at Octoberfest.

It’s a snuff made of glucose and menthol, not cocaine.


.....snorted off ****
Even if that's true why record the video making it look like its cocaine?
 
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