Jokes: the good, the absolute putrid and the ugly

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jonbe54

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A newly wed couple had a terrible wedding night - in the early hours of the morning he awoke to find his blonde bride bright blue in the face with a very puzzled expression on her face.

Then he noticed that the headphone buds had fallen out of her ears after dropping off to sleep. Checking them out all he could hear was . . . inhale . . . exhale . . . inhale . . . .
 

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Rachel and Samuel were very young when they fell in love and got marri d.

Both being non practiced in the art of love were not xcted about their first time.

As Samuel was ready in his suit of birthdays, Tachel stopped him dead.

“That will be $50 thank you!”

“What is this?” Asked Samuel.

“No money.”

Samuel paid.

This went on for many years.

And the years rolled into decades.

Rachel and Samuel were in their eighties and had they had an ok but frugal existence.

Samuel lamented that if only they had a bit more to leave their kids.

Rachel exclaimed, “don’t worry about that, they have plenty.”

“What?” Said Samuel.

“Let’s go for a drive...”

Then Rachel start pointing out to Samuel, a few units, a factory, a house and nebtioned “their” sizeable share portfolio.

Rachel said, “we’re fine, don’t worry.”

“When did you do all this?” Stammered Samuel.

“You know every time we made love? Well every time I took the $50 and placed it into an investment portfolio.”

Samuel became so distressed, his face drained into a callow white.

“Oh no, no, no.... If only I knew”

“That’s ok dear, I was setting up our kids and it went well.”

“No you don’t understand” said Samuel. “If I knew you were so clever with money, I would have given you all my business.”
 
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